CheapJAP

Sartorial Etiquette

Mind Your P’s and Q’s

Unless you consider the latest Lily Pulitzer print avant garde, it’s safe to say that WASPs aren’t as traditionally trendy as us JAPs. But where table manners and political correctness are concerned, they pretty much kick our asses every time. My mother gave me Tiffany’s Table Manners for Hannukah years ago; I might know which fork is the salad fork, but I still talk over people, laugh too loudly and often neglect to bite my tongue when there’s an elephant in the room. I can’t tell you how to host a dinner party because I can’t cook. I can, however, instruct you on how to respond to the inevitable compliments and questions you’ll receive upon reinvigorating your wardrobe and personal style with Cheap JAP tactics.

Scenario: You’re out with some friends wearing a fab, black, mini-but-not-too-mini dress you scored at Forever 21. A female acquaintance pulls you aside to gush about the awesomeness of your apparel, and begs to know where you got it.

“This dress? I got it at a little boutique somewhere…I’m totally spacing on the name but I’ll text it to you if I remember.”

This response is brilliant on multiple levels. A “little boutique” suggests your dress is anywhere from $150 to $500 and your “spacing on the name” means you shop so much, you can’t even keep track of where you go or how much you spend.

*If you genuinely like and trust the gushing female in question, go ahead and spread the good word. But do so very, very quietly