CheapJAP

Splurgy Poo

The Denim Dish

Cheap JAPs are still JAPs at heart, and no JAP’s closet is complete without designer denim. If we only cared about shopping cheap, we’d head to The GAP, find the least ill-fitting pair of no-name jeans and call it a day. But we’re all about image here, and sometimes you can’t look loaded without a JAP-certified logo hugging your buttcheeks. From left to right, we have AGs, Sevens, True Religions and Citizens; all fab brands, all purchased with Daddy’s Amex.

While you can’t scrimp on jeans, you can be smart about the kind of denim you buy. The gray, straight leg True Religions were purchased last Fall when the “Rocker” look (read: mag editors’ attempt to lure people into dressing like hipsters) was all the rage. I respect hipster style but I can’t work it for shit. Also, the crotch on these jeans is too long and makes me look like I may or may not have a penis.

I initially ignored the fit of the True Religions because I was thrilled to have found something so In, but whenever I tried them on, I hated them more and more. The lesson? Jeans that don’t fit your bod perfectly are always Out, regardless of brand or cut.