OMG, New Years! Aren’t you, like, soo excited?! I mean, there’s an entire website devoted to the Eve, where you can conveniently purchase overpriced tickets to booze at underwhelming bars – yaay!
Barf. New Years Eve is perhaps the most asinine holiday ever, second only to Valentine’s Day in forcing people to settle for ugly, mediocre [...]

Like curbing a nicotine habit, bettering yourself or working through an emotional shitstorm, finding the right handbag is a long, arduous journey. It requires extensive research and – as handbags are one of the few items you can’t scrimp on in the land o’ Cheap JAP – a whole lotta dough.
My Botkier lasted me four years, and I wore the hell out of it. Over the next few months, we will sift through the contenders for its replacement, ultimately developing a list of five finalists from which to choose.

I really, really like legwarmers. I don’t know why. They’re a pain in the ass to put on, they always look a little silly, and when people glance at my lower half on the street, I can never tell if they’re thinking, “Sweet calf-wear” or “What the eff is she wearing?” I think legwarmers are [...]

This bag was part of my JAPnukah loot, courtesy of Mommy. It’s not my favorite thing she scored at Scoop; even at the fair price of $28, it’s a little too message-y for my taste. But I use it going to and from work when I have to cart around my tragically boring uniform of [...]

I wear wifebeaters under almost everything I own. I buy the men’s version because they’re long enough to cover my butt – this means that, in addition to elongating my torso, they can be worn with leggings 24/7. The men’s tanks are also more fitted up top, as dudes don’t have boobs (unless they’re manboobs, but that’s neither here nor there).

I considered leaving the dress at its original length, but the calf-length hemline wasn’t doing jackshit to create the illusion of height I’m constantly striving for. I added ankle boots, and reassessed again. It looked fab to me, but I needed public opinion to affirm the outfit’s awesomeness, so I wore it out to a party that evening. “Great color,” “Love the dress,” “You look gorgeous,” from guys and girls alike. Yaay, cause my massive ego totally needed that. Now let’s talk overall outfit cost.

This morning, I happened upon Urban Dictionary’s definition of “JAP”. It’s possibly the most brilliant and well-researched term in the collective tome. Now that I’ve finished laughing my little tuchis off, let’s review the characteristics that delineate us JAPs as such.

You can’t use the absence of Daddy’s plastic as a means to avoid giving gifts to those you care about – it’s just not in the spirit of Christmas (or Chanukah…whatevs, I’ve always celebrated both but I feel really, really guilty about it). The golden rule of gift-giving on the cheap is this: The more thought, time and energy you put into it, the less money you have to spend. Read on for 10 ways to give the most thoughtful AND least costly gifts this holiday season.