CheapJAP

Oy Vey!

Happy JAPnukah to Me

I didn’t ask for anything this Hannukah season.

Not because I didn’t want anything, but because - for the first time, um, ever - I felt a slight twinge of Jewish guilt at my parents paying half my rent.

Dad: Mom wants to know what you want for Hannukah.
Me: I honestly don’t want anything Dad. Really.
Dad: That’s very sweet, but she’s going to buy you stuff anyway, just some little things.

My dad continually chooses to forget that “little things” mean he’s out at least $600.
I insisted on wanting nothing, both parents ignored me, and Mom showed up in the city with “little things” in tow. Among the little things: BCBG puffer coat, hot BCBG top, C&C turtleneck, Scoop textured tights and Tory Burch pony hair flats. JAPpot!

My holiday cheer was marginally corrupted by the fact that my mother had left the pricetags on most of the gifts. This haul of “little things” was way out of the usual range; that goddamn Jewish guilt was creeping up on me again.

Me: Mom, this is way too much.
Mom: Sweetie! Everything was half off!

Okay, so Mom’s idea of a deal is a $500 coat reduced to $200; she’s not a Cheap JAP just yet. But - when she told me everything was half off - she had that same triumphant look on her face that I get after a
trip to Forever or Beacon’s. Maybe we’re all bargain hunters at heart.