CheapJAP

Sexy Time

Best. Bra. Ever.

FYI, I hate my boobs (maybe it’s the third nipple…kidding!). Being in between a B and C cup is annoying enough, but my boobs are also set so far apart that they’re closer to my armpits than to my chest. This makes both achieving cleavage and shopping for bras effing impossible.

No one wants to spend money on anything related to their least favorite body part, but when your cotton Calvin Klein bras are more gray than white from constant wear, it’s time for some new underwire. I enlisted the help of my friend Lucy, who’s lingerie collection probably rivals that of Dita Von Teese. I struck out at Victoria’s Secret, as per usual; a boutique was the only solution to my weird shaped boob woes.

We hit Journelle, a new Flatiron lingerie boutique - the first bra I saw was $90. I obvs snorted in disgust and turned to leave. Then this, from Lucy:
“What would you say if I found the perfect pair of jeans?”

Fuck. Okay, fine. After much help from the lovely saleswoman and some free flavored bottled water and chocolates, the above bra emerged as the winner. It’s Vera Wang and makes my boobs look perfect…like, surgically enhanced perfect. I initially winced at the $65 price tag. But after a few wears and an enthusiastic male response, I must deem bras - particularly for those of us with bizarrely shaped boobs - totally splurge-worthy.