Operation Avoidance: The Jelly Gladiator
The only thing worse than The Return of the Jellies is that legit designers are manufacturing sandals to substantiate the trend. Case in point: The Givenchy Jelly Gladiator. Let’s start with the least offensive of these two shoe trends and why it stinks like poo.
The Gladiator Sandal is, perhaps, the most unflattering shoe ever concocted for women whose calves aren’t the same size as their wrists. The style cuts off the leg at the ankle, and subsequently midgetizes (ooh! new verb!) even the longest and thinnest of limbs. Shoes should always give us the illusion of length, people. And stubby legs are never In.
Onto the Jelly. I don’t have a problem with the 80’s, but I’ve got serious beef with material that looks as cheap as it is. You want to wear them ironically, fine (hipster alert) - they’re $7.99 at Target.
The general consensus on the Givenchy Jelly Gladiator is that it’s, like, totally fabulous. It’s not. It’s a fucking ugly rubber sandal that costs 165 bucks. Viva La Resistance.
Kvelling and Kvetching
This was one of the most hilarious posts I’ve read in a long time! I actually like gladiators…in part b/c I have a pair of the afore mentioned ckicken legs…but jellies are atrocious. especially these.
@ 12:25 pm on April 28th, 2008I just found your blog and you are hilarious! It pains me to see these shoes and that they are Givenchy as well only twists that blade in my gut. Jellies and Crocs need to be erased from this Earth!
@ 1:16 am on April 30th, 2008Have You Checked Out The Chanel Jellies?They Are Posted On My Site.These Jellies Are So Cute And Fun!
@ 12:08 am on May 1st, 2008My site is http://www.afewgoodygumdrops.com
@ 12:09 am on May 1st, 2008I love gladiators. But not these jelly ones.
@ 7:19 pm on May 8th, 2008Leave a Reply