Let’s start with a few disclaimers: 1. I heart most of American Apparel’s stuff and 2. Not my ass pictured at left. I don’t have a problem with the company’s penchant for provocative photography. I have a problem with the notion that it’s okay to wear the following items in public.

This Nylon Tricot Figure Skater Dress might adequately cover one’s naughty bits, but seriously, come on. The easy-access skirt totally fetishizes jailbait-age ballerinas, and that’s just creepy. Alas, if you’ve got some Ice Capades-related sex fantasy you’re looking to enact, look no further.

This mini-skirt is technically a skort.

Unfortunately, the fact that there are shorts underneath this coochie-grazing number doesn’t make it any less slutty. You’re better off parading around the street in your underwear – at least then you’d be making a statement.

There are few occasions when black and gold glitter don’t scream workin’ girl; this Spandex Nightlife Dress is no exception.

For a White Trash theme party, it’s money. Because this is one of American Apparel’s few items that looks as cheap as it is. Well, this and the Shiny Hot Short pictured above, which is technically part of a bikini. Even I wouldn’t wear these to the beach, and I’m from South Jersey.

Finally, we have the Nylon Micro-Mesh Bodysuit. I’m not sure, but I think the see-through-top-over-black-bra-look went out in 1982 and never came back. (Her nipples are airbrushed out of the pic, btw. I know this because I tried the bodysuit on a few weeks ago). If you want to seduce your dude – look at me in my see-through bodysuit, yay! – then this is an interesting choice. Wearing this bodysuit for any other reason is prohibited. Capeesh?