For the record: I’m well aware that these pants are, at first glance, utterly ridiculous. When I saw them in American Apparel I initially balked at the price. Forty-two dollar leggings. Really. REALLY? What could possibly be so special about American Apparel leggings that made them nearly fifty bucks? They had the appearance of denim, but they weren’t technically jeans. They had a trendy high waist, but were too tight for a tucked-in shirt. Who in their right mind would wear such a thing?

Me, as it turns out. Obvs.

Under normal circumstances, the mere idea of tucking anything into leggings is as silly as it is slutty. But these aren’t your average leggings; the polyester/nylon/elasthan combo makes legs look thinner than they actually are, yet the material is still thick enough to hide everything from thong lines to cellulite. This is not to imply that denim leggings are easy to pull off. If you’re feeling even remotely self-conscious and/or bloated (I find that the two often go hand in hand, no?) parade around your apartment in them before taking them out on the town.

The first outfit pictured is a tad ho-fo-sho for my taste, but it proves that a thin shirt can be tucked into the DLs without incident (BTdubs, the shirt’s a James Perse, snagged for $11.95 at Beacon’s; the shoes are Manolos, courtesy of The United Bank of Mommy).

The second outfit uses a loose top (also American Apparel) to balance the tight pants and, as a result, is a bit more classy (though “class” isn’t the first thing that comes to mind where denim leggings are concerned). It also exemplifies why I bought the pants in the first place. Because – as bizarre as they are – they make me feel like a fucking rock star.

So much so that I can’t help but make ugly-rock-star-faces every time I put them on.