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Excessories

Botkier Sample Sale More Anticlimactic Than Orgasmic

As far as sample sales go, Botkier’s was remarkably well-executed; there was minimal insanity and an abundance of bags at 50-70% off. Had I been on the hunt for a clutch or a small going-out bag, I would have been positively gleeful, as this category of leather goods boasted fab options ranging from $100-$175.

But I don’t need a clutch or a going-out bag - that’s what Mommy’s closet is for. I need a big tote I can wear all day, every day. And the tote situation was boring at best, and fugly at worst.

It wasn’t the sizes or the prices that bugged me. Most of the totes offered were sizable enough to accommodate wallets, cameras, iPhones, make-up, extra pairs of shoes, y’know, all of life’s essentials ;). Most were also around $275, max - a reasonable price to pay for a kickass designer handbag for daily use. But the materials and colors of said totes had me totally icked out. Shiny patent leather and sparkly metallic in blue, pink, gold and silver hues overwhelmed the display tables. Metallic and patent leather are two handbag trends whose cool-factor expires in about a month. While, like all trends, they’ll eventually be back, they’re not classic or understated enough for everyday wear. This makes buying one just because it’s on sale, well, stupid.

There were some legit leather options, but these too were marred by their colors. I don’t care how buttery and delicious Italian lambskin is - I’m never going to wear it in fucking maroon. The few black, brown and tan totes that weren’t metallic or patent leather were either too small or too conventional for my purposes.

Maybe I’m too broke to settle for something I’m not absolutely crazy about. Maybe I’m too picky. Whatevs. I’m confident that I’ll know my bag when I see it. I’m equally confident that it was not to be found at the Botkier Sample Sale.