CheapJAP

Label Whore

Re-Assess, Re-Vamp, Re-Wear!

I don’t just recycle paper goods (my building doesn’t recycle plastic or glass bottles, how effed up is that?…I mean, not that I have a lot of empty wine bottles laying around…wait what) - I use the three Rs to recycle my clothing too. Sometimes I sell stuff to Beacon’s for store credit. Sometimes I perform hemline surgery on tired pieces. But never before have I taken a pair of scissors to a pricey, JAPtastic item. Until the other day.

Last summer, Mommy bought me this Nanette Lepore dress. While Mommy’s Jewish in the religious sense of the term, she’s a beauteous blonde WASP where personal style’s concerned. This means she’s frequently - and often correctly - concerned that my outfits lack a certain level of, ahem, class. So she insists on my needing wardrobe staples like $300 Cocktail Dresses.

I wore this dress once last summer, and haven’t thought about it since. OMG, it’s Nanette, what’s wrong with me?! Many things, mi guapas; let’s talk about what’s wrong with the dress first. The material’s slinky and fab, the pattern’s interesting, the colors go with everything…but the CUT. I’m no Gisele, but COME ON. The length gives anyone under 5′7″ cankles, the in-between neckline does nothing to accentuate one’s rack and/or collarbone, and the belt fails to define the waist because it’s idiotically the same pattern as the dress. Ultimately, the lines render it matronly and boring, and totally negate the fact that it’s a well-made, versatile, effing $350 Nanette Lepore dress. And that is unacceptable to me.

So I pulled it out of my closet, broke out my fabric scissors, and went to town.

I chopped the neckline (extra low, because I’m obsessed with both layering and camisoles), trimmed the hemline, rolled the sleeves, added a black and gold sparkly elastic belt purchased on sale at Urban for $8, and slipped into my recently scored Michael Kors pumps.

And now it’s badass.

Oh, and I made a headband out of the extra material so it didn’t go to waste.
It is Nanette, after all.