CheapJAP

Sartorial Etiquette

MAILBAG: A Clutching Conundrum

[Note: MAILBAG is copied and pasted directly from cheapjap@gmail.com’s inbox and is therefore exempt from any and all grammatical, capitalization and/or spelling errors.]

Subject: Question for CheapJAP
Dear CheapJap,
Sarah P. introduced me on to your funny blog. Our senses of style are very different (I kind of dress like Charlotte York and have never been in Forever 21, though I like finding Theory and Lilly Pulitzer on sale at Filene’s Basement!) but I thought I would write to you because you come up with great ideas an how to pull off somewhat odd clothing. So here is my style connundrum (sp?): I purchased this bag in black thinking it would be so cute and spruce up a black winter coat or tan trench….

It says “medium fabric” but if you read the fine print (which I didn’t) its actually straw. The patent leather and bronze channel-ish chain strap comes off and its like a perfect size not too big but not too small clutch but its F-ing STRAW and Animal print and has patent leather trim! Do I return it? Do I wear it with neutral/black outfits to be a little sexy during the day? Can I wear a straw bag at night? I kind of love it but I also think its the strangest thing.

Any help/ideas would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks, Emily

Subject: Re: Question for CheapJAP
emily,
filene’s sells theory?! um, OMFG. thanks for the tip. now, to address your conundrum:

do NOT kick your own ass about this purchase; i literally had to zoom in nine times on the pic to determine what the material was. you’re right about one thing - it is effing STRAW, and straw ain’t easy to pull off. but there is a way. there is always a way.

firstly, get rid of that chanel-wannabe chain strap because it ages the bag, (and its wearer) about fifteen years. super. now it’s a clutch. this clutch has a few qualities that up its wear-ability ante - its color, its print and its trim. tan and black are probs the most wearable colors eva, the animal print is subtle enough that it doesn’t scream cheetah or zebra, and the patent leather trim might be just enough to sneak it into the fall. that moschino “cheap and chic” charges $390 for a clutch that isn’t even leather is slightly vomitous. thankfully, you got it on yoox for $158, which - despite our different senses of style - is pretty Cheap JAPtastic of you.

my advice is this: keep the bag. you can absolutely wear this day or night through september; it might be straw, but it doesn’t look like straw, so don’t stress. it’s the right size and color, and that means it has staying power. i know that animal print and patent leather seem a little nutso for your preppy wardrobe, but we’re not talking about a leopard dress or a platform maryjane here. we’re just talking about a clutch - a neutral, versatile one at that. can you wear it with neutral/black outfits and be matchy matchy? obvs! should you maybe, possibly throw a color into the mix and check out this twelve by twelve orange trench too? umm, yes.

mwah!
Cheap JAP