Like most fashion mags, ELLE usually pisses me off, what with their Vogue-esque concept of reasonably priced apparel. But the mag’s latest issue does a nice job of breaking down Fall’s Must-Haves. Must we have everything suggested? Hellllls no. Must we take a good, hard look at this season’s trends and weed out the ridiculousness so we don’t waste our dough on things we’ll wear once? You betcha.
DO IT: The New LBD
Little Black Dresses are always In, doy. “New” according to ELLE means these LBDs have certain stylistic embellishments – like expertly placed rhinestones that somehow make the Erin Fetherston dress featured $1500 – that set them apart from a plain ol’ LBD. Thus “New” according to me means Stupid. A little detail is fab, but a classic LBD doesn’t need sequins, lace, bows or any of that crap. It just needs to fit like a glove. Write that down.
LBDs are a worthy splurge if you work in a dressy office environment; as I don’t, I’m partial to the H&M sheath dress pictured at right, $34.99. Oh, and kudos to ELLE for including the uber-cute Rayon-blend EXPRESS version….wait, a $98 item in ELLE?! Our economy must REALLY suck!
SCREW IT: The Bow Blouse
Oooh, we’re all into androgynous dressing, so here’s a great idea: How bout, instead of having women wear ties, we attach oversized bows to button-down shirts? An oversized neck bow on any woman with boobs adds approximately seven pounds to her frame, not to mention screams Lil Bo Peep. Conversely, if you happen to be as emaciated as the models seen wearing the trend, the bow has the added bonus of obscuring your gaunt little face almost entirely. This trend is juvenile, fickle, and ultimately senseless. Kind of like my 19 year-old brother.
(Just kidding Matty, love ya!)
