CheapJAP

Cheap JAP 101

When More is More

Cher, GET IN HERE.
What’s up, Daddy?
What is that?
A dress.
Says who?
Calvin Klein.
It looks like underwear. Go put something over it.
Duh, I was just going to.

If memory serves, I wore this Gianfranco Ferre minidress to a sorority formal without putting something over it, but let’s not dwell on the past. Point being, a pricey label doesn’t make a slutty dress look any less cheap. Only WE can do that.

Finding new ways to wear the clothes you already own is a fab, fiscally responsible way to feel like you’re shopping. Really, you sort of are. You’re just spending time in your closet instead of money at a boutique.

Alas, shopping my own closet to de-sluttify this dress proved a trial-and-error process. The tights were the biggest beotch; anything even remotely sheer screamed streetwalker. Shoes were also a challenge: Boots were overwhelming, none of my pumps seemed to work either.

I was stumped on how to cover my upper-half too (and very close to bagging the whole de-sluttifying endeavor) when one of my first Cheap JAP purchases ever caught my eye.

I added the fur-collared Bebe cardy ($10.95 at Beacon’s Closet), tights so opaque they’re basically leggings, and silver Manolo slingbacks, and everything seemed to fall into place (whether or not it stayed there is debatable. Bah!).

Is the outfit still a bit risque? Probs. It might even still be considered slutty, where Fashion is concerned. But I don’t feel slutty wearing it, and THAT’s what matters, dollfaces. Now, go forth and shop. You don’t even need to leave your house!*

*No, that doesn’t mean you get to go shop online. Nice try.