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Economic Shitstorm

How To: Sell Your Old Clothes

Most people donate the clothes they no longer wear. (By “donate,” I do NOT mean take out with the trash. Don’t add to the dumpster heap that is our earth, fools). That’s the obvious, socially and environmentally responsible, post-closet purge choice. Being an inherently selfish person, I prefer to sell my duds to Beacon’s Closet for cash or store credit instead.

Beacon’s isn’t as discerning as your standard Consignment shop, but they still continually neg some of my thangs. Should you choose to sell (at Beacon’s or elsewhere), use the following guidelines to filter your castoffs:

1. The Gently Worn Factor: No rips, pilling or pitstains.

2. The Brand Factor: For thrift stores, it doesn’t matter if it’s Theory or Forever 21 - if the tag is recognizable, it’s got a better shot of selling. Consignment and/or designer re-sale shops (really, does anyone know the difference?) are considerably snootier. So unless you’ve got a Marc Jacobs blazer you’re sick of (like that’s even humanly possible), I’m not making any promises.

3. The Seasonal Factor: Do you buy linen in winter? Neither do the stores you’re selling to. Just omit the obvious stuff - no flannel button downs if it’s summer, no sarongs if it’s as effing freezing out as it is today.

I obvs filter effectively to maximize what Beacon’s takes off my hands. This time around, they priced my wares at $123.55. In exchange, I got 55% of that number in store credit - $67.95 worth of thriftastic treasures. I could have taken 35% in cash ($43.24), but that would have been stupid. My store credit resulted in…

…an uber-girly, white ruffled top ($14.95); a slightly ridiculous (let’s just say avante garde), light blue, puffy-sleeved blouse; a pair of legwarmers (Foot Traffic, $12), and, drumroll please…

…a STELLAR pair of Olsen Haus pumps. I’d be totally on board with the Vegan shoe thing if green brands like Olsen Haus didn’t retail for around $225. Are you effing kidding me?! It’s not even leather!

Whatevs Olsen, I got your overpriced plastic for $19.95. HA.

My haul came to $62.85 of my store credit. To sum up: I got rid of old clothes AND bought new ones with ZERO dollars of my own money. How d’ya like them apples?!

*See this nationwide Consignment/Thrift Stores Directory so you too can reap the benefits of cleaning your closet.