If the Housing Works All You Can Stuff Bag Sale was located in Manhattan, I’d probs approach it with a mix of trepidation and skepticism a la Barney’s Scarehouse Sale. I mean, it’s a whopping twenty dollars for as much clothing as you can stuff into a canvas shopping bag. Add frenzied, impatient Big Apple shoppers to the mix and you’ve got deafeningly high-pitched chaos on your hands. Thankfully (I think), the aforementioned sale requires a trek out to Long Island City – a likely deterrent for the masses. I, however, will be making the pilgrimage with my game face on. As I’ve never been to Long Island City and have a subpar sense of direction at best, I’m anticipating getting lost en route, but no biggie: Even if I walk with only two finds, that’s still $10 per item, and henceforth well worth the navigation aggravation.

If I happen to find more than I can stuff into my $20 bag? Beotch, please. My overpacking skillz boast the ability to roll anything into approximately one eighth of its original size. This is going to be CAKE.