Additional merch and musings on last week’s exhaustifying Century 21 excursion:

I heart 8020 Wedge Boots for two reasons:

1. They prove heel height and walkability are not mutually exclusive.
2. They’re on sale at Century 21, which means I never have to pay full price for them again.

I’ll reiterate the numbers above: Every 8020 style was on sale for under $70, and about half of the boots were tagged at a special offer price of $44.99. A $200 boot for $44.99? Special, indeed!

I tore myself away from the section because I really don’t need a fourth pair of boots at the moment. But I will be back. Oh yes, I will be back. The motivating force behind my trip was overpriced hosiery – specifically, Spanx.

Spanx Tight-End Tights range from $28-$42 per pair, and this nauseates me. Alas, when you wear tights as much as I do, they’re kind of a no-brainer. I snagged the pair above for $15.97, and hot damn, they are the SHIZNAT. If they weren’t so effing comfortable, they’d be the modern-day equivalent of a corset. And now I’m scarred for life because I don’t ever want to wear another brand of tights again. Shitballs. Oh well… at least I know I can get them sans paying full price.

I also snagged some fifteen-dollar HUE legwarmers for $8.97. Word. The day was a success, but my mood as I waited in line to pay was not one of triumph. Here’s why:

After exploring the shoe floor, I browsed the apparel section instead of bee-lining for what I came for. Big mistake. Huge. I culled an armful of merch, waffled over whether or not I needed it, put it all back, accumulated another crop of stuff, waffled again, and put it all back again. There was too much stuff, too long a dressing room line, and not enough time. For the Century 21 shopper who strays from her plan of attack, this is always the case.

See, Century 21 is not a store that caters to the stamina of most American shoppers – if you do not stay the course, it will chew you up and spit you out and cackle as it crushes you under a stampede of designer-crazed tourists. I don’t know what they feed the fashionistas overseas: I just know their shopping skillz enable them to stay happy, sane and nice in spite of an atmosphere of lunacy.

By the time I got to the register, I was a hot little teakettle on the verge of losing my shit. Then I had the following interaction with the German woman waiting behind me:

Euroshopper: Are zos legwarmers?
Me: Yes. I’m kind of obsessed with the eighties.
Euroshopper: (giggling) No, you make eet work zo. Eye’ve been lookeeng at your styyle – I really like eet!

Her timing was as stellar as her shopping skillz: It’s amazing what an unsolicited compliment can do to one’s shitty mood. I thanked her graciously, encouraged her to try legwarmers herself, the cashier got a chuckle out of our conversation, and I left the store buoyant on the heels of the best two minutes of my day.

Century 21’s a bitch and a half, but that’s not necessarily true of its shoppers. And that’s a warm and fuzzy thing.