90s Fashion: Chic in Clueless, Layering Shitshow on Runway

Ah, trends. Silly little sartorial rules that prey on our innate need to fit in and look cool.  Take oxblood, for instance -  the “purplish-reddish-brownish hue” every blog plotzed over this past fall, singing its praises like it wasn’t the same exact fucking color as maroon. 

Oxblood. JESUS.

The vast majority of trends are just like oxblood – re-branded spins on shit we’ve already seen. The more inspired by the past a given trend is, the easier it is to shop secondhand. Hence the reason I am SO EFFING PUMPED that the long-overlooked nineties are finally back.

clueless
There’s shortage of inspiration for amazeballs nineties style: Clueless alone boasts a number of killer outfits in nearly every scene. Here’s a smattering of my faves:
clueless fashion looks
What do these looks have in common? They’re all actually wearable in a modern context.

Then, there’s this:
3.1 Phillip Lim Spring 2013 RTW
Now look, I get that one of the goals of Fashion-capital-F is to use clothing to create a certain kind of fantasy. I get that 90s style is inherently rebellious. What I don’t get is why Phillip Lim had to take the rebelliousness of 90s style at face value. No fantasy should make me almost-barf in my mouth.

Lim’s Spring ’13 collection hit the blogwaves over four months ago, as a result of Fashion’s eternally fucked up sense of time/seasonal relevance. Apparently no one has sprouted a working pair of eyeballs since. The failed attempt at irony that is the “I upside-down heart Nuevo York” t-shirt is only the beginning. The schlumpy jacket’s all kinds of icky too, but the worst thing about this hyperbolically ugly excuse for a runway look is the skirt.

Is that unnecessary strip of black fabric peeking out from under the pattern supposed to be a slip, and does it have a purpose independent of making the length uber unflattering? Speaking of unnecessary, what the EFF is going on with that FLANNEL? I want to rip it off the model but I can’t, because it’s not a flannel at all – those plaid shirtsleeves are actually BUILT IN to the skirt itself.

I know. I feel like ralphing too. 

Engaging in era-specific trends need not be literal to the point of ludicrousness.

More nineties love and fashion bashing laters. MWAH.

Comments

  1. Jaime says

    I think you might be my platonic soul mate, LoL. I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought calling maroon oxblood was the dumbest thing I’ve heard in about 2.5 months.

  2. Dani Jade says

    OMG! I F’ing Looove you! I thought I was the only one who was completely grossed out on the 90′s fashion!!

  3. says

    Ha! It’s like reading my own thoughts! I was, and still am, obsessed with Clueless fashion. The “new” 90′s inspired crap doesn’t even compare. The outfit you show up above is just plain hideous.

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