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Coolier Than Thou

A Rip Off Gets Real. Like, 60% Off Real.

LFstores are the trendmama of contemporary fashion. They’re also notoriously overpriced; every time I step into one, I see everything I want and nothing I can afford. We’re talking $70 t-shirts, people. Gag me. Thankfully, I browse more than I buy, so I checked out their Brooklyn location yesterday for inspiration purposes. I was immediately greeted by a fabulously dressed and uber friendly salesgal.

“Just so you know, everything in the store is 60% off.”
EVERYTHING????!!!!
“Everything. Shoes, accessories, clothing, the works.”

I poked around, found myself overwhelmed by awesomeness, and knew I needed more time than the 15 minutes I had to spare on my way to work yesterday. So I’m going back today. And I’m so. effing. psyched.

[FYI - the LFstores’ Boerum Hill location isn’t listed online. Take the F train to Bergen and Smith, walk up to Court, and take a left; I don’t know the exact cross street, but it’s three or four blocks in that direction. Go ASAP. But not before I get there ;)]

Coolier Than Thou

A brief addendum re: my Macy’s shopping experience. I wore this Lux jumper ($11.95 at Beacon’s - take that, Urban!) over an American Apparel tee for the occasion. Paired with a belt stolen from my little bro’s closet and my new Crocs, I thought the outfit was kinda cool. This notion was reinforced by the fact that I’ve received multiple compliments on the jumper in question when I’ve worn it in good ol’ trendy Brooklyn.

Alas, My Jersey shopping peers weren’t quite as forgiving - the looks I got were priceless, and not in a good way. I felt like a circus freak and/or Ty in “Clueless.” I even thought I heard someone say, “She could be a farmer in those clothes.” But that could have been the paranoia talking.

Just had to share.

Coolier Than Thou

It’s a Legging, It’s a Jean, It’s…Denim Leggings!

For the record: I’m well aware that these pants are, at first glance, utterly ridiculous. When I saw them in American Apparel I initially balked at the price. Forty-two dollar leggings. Really. REALLY? What could possibly be so special about American Apparel leggings that made them nearly fifty bucks? They had the appearance of denim, but they weren’t technically jeans. They had a trendy high waist, but were too tight for a tucked-in shirt. Who in their right mind would wear such a thing?

Me, as it turns out. Obvs.

Under normal circumstances, the mere idea of tucking anything into leggings is as silly as it is slutty. But these aren’t your average leggings; the polyester/nylon/elasthan combo makes legs look thinner than they actually are, yet the material is still thick enough to hide everything from thong lines to cellulite. This is not to imply that denim leggings are easy to pull off. If you’re feeling even remotely self-conscious and/or bloated (I find that the two often go hand in hand, no?) parade around your apartment in them before taking them out on the town.

The first outfit pictured is a tad ho-fo-sho for my taste, but it proves that a thin shirt can be tucked into the DLs without incident (BTdubs, the shirt’s a James Perse, snagged for $11.95 at Beacon’s; the shoes are Manolos, courtesy of The United Bank of Mommy).

The second outfit uses a loose top (also American Apparel) to balance the tight pants and, as a result, is a bit more classy (though “class” isn’t the first thing that comes to mind where denim leggings are concerned). It also exemplifies why I bought the pants in the first place. Because - as bizarre as they are - they make me feel like a fucking rock star.

So much so that I can’t help but make ugly-rock-star-faces every time I put them on.

Coolier Than Thou

Already Over It: Uniqlo Tees

Okay, so everyone’s totally ga-ga over Uniqlo’s artist/photog-designed tees as of late. Possibly they’re just ga-ga over the ads for said artsy tees, which feature Chloe Sevigny and Japan’s version of Johnny Depp - wait for it - “portraying characters and emotions found within the t-shirts.” Acting is so deep, people. So are t-shirts.
I’m not sure if the tees I tried on at Uniqlo a few weeks ago were of the Keith Haring and Basquiat ilk; I am sure that, regardless of being reasonably priced and kind of cool, they fit like shit. Particularly for those of us with boobs, and I don’t mean Chloe’s cute little A-cups. Remember: A tee that fits you perfectly always looks classy, i.e. more expensive than it is. A tee that’s of-the-moment but ill-fitting always looks like a $16.99 shirt. Until Uniqlo’s American invasion extends to the company’s re-engineering their tees for American breasts, I’m staying off of this wagon.

Coolier Than Thou

Cheap Tees, So Monies

…as long as they’re bonafide vintage, that is - Stuff White People Like says so. Stuff White People Like is the only blog I read for fun. Why? Because most blogs are either so grammatically retarded and/or uber predictable that I feel partially lobotomized post-consumption. Stuff White People Like might be more lifestyle than actual style, but I’m willing to defer to their views on fashion because those beotches crack me up. Continue reading →