CheapJAP

Excessories

Anya Hindmarch Turns Fake to Great

After Botkier’s dire attempt to whore itself out to the masses, I assumed the next high-end handbag designer’s “collection” for Target would suck too. What happens when we assume? Someone like Anya Hindmarch obvs comes along and makes asses out of you and me. Sometimes, it’s refreshing to be wrong… but only sometimes.

The Black Python Clutch (at right) doesn’t just look pricier than $19.99; it actually does justice to its high-end inspiration. It appears that some handbag designers are finally taking the bull by the horns and copying themselves with accuracy, instead of letting Forever 21 do it for them.

The Large Gold Shoulder Bag (at right) is - like many Hindmarch for Target items online - out of stock. I’m including it anyway because it further illustrates a quality all too rare among high-end designers: Hindmarch actually gives a shit about her cheapie collection. Pleather or no, her Target stuff boasts unique details characteristic of her pricier products; you know it’s an Anya Hindmarch before you know it’s her Target line. An uber impressive effort, fo sheez.

Excessories

MAILBAG: Graduation Splurge

So I’ve emailed you before because your blog is my favorite. And so I know you think nice bags are worth the splurge. Bags are the only thing I spend more than like $35 on. I’d like your opinion of this bag. Because I’m in love with it but my mother doesn’t think it’s worth $500 (and i know you just wrote about how Marc Jacobs doesn’t make clothes for real women but I figure bags are a different story). I just got $300 from some relatives for my graduation and kind of feel like I deserve to buy myself something nice.

What do you think? Worth it?

Hey doll,
Mmkay, so $498 is a whole lotta dough for a bag. Lucky you, this will only be $200 of your own moolah, which makes it much more reasonable. The $300 from your relatives is a GIFT, which means you can spend it however the eff you want, so don’t let mommy talk you out of how you want to spend it. I think the bag totally rocks - I love that you chose purple too (my navy Abaco was the first non-neutral colored bag I bought and I couldn’t be happier with it). But before you go for it, I want you to ask yourself the following questions:

Am I totally obsessed with this bag?
Will I wear - and love wearing this bag - for a minimum of five years?
Is it big and versatile enough to accommodate my lifestyle? (i.e. can you wear it every day to work if you feel like it?)

If you’ve got three yesses, DO IT. I applaud your taste - it’s a pretty kickass bag.

mwah!
Cheap JAP

Excessories

Get Tight With Those Tights

I heart tights because they’re a quick, cheap way to take an outfit up a notch - in this case many, many notches.

I’d initially paired the Salv Army H&M Button-Down with my Chinese Military Shorts and Kors Gold Pumps: The look was neutrally cool, but in dire need of some pizazz.

Enter the Patterned Crochet Footed Tight. BAM! Now that’s more like it.

Below, a few ways to tighten up your look. Hardy har har.

Sparkle & Fade Nylon V Stripe Tights, $12 (or 2 for $20) at Urban Outfitters. If you’re going to buy stirrup tights, have the guts to wear them with a very high heel so the stirrup is fully visible, maximizing their potential for Flashdance-esque hotness. Otherwise, what’s the point? Hue Stirrup Tights, $12.

Continue reading →

Excessories

Things That Make You Go ‘Oy.’

Ahh Daily Candy - always on to the next big thing we don’t need. Like really expensive hair accessories.

Firstly, the band-around-the-head as opposed to the more traditional band-behind-the-ears isn’t an easy thing to pull off. I can’t wear one without feeling like a hipster-poser and/or a flapper-wannabe; if you can, more power to ya. But if you’re even considering dropping $145 on one of these ban.do headbands, get off my site and get thee to a craft store. Fake flowers, feathers and a hot glue gun should do the trick.

Excessories

Botkier Sample Sale More Anticlimactic Than Orgasmic

As far as sample sales go, Botkier’s was remarkably well-executed; there was minimal insanity and an abundance of bags at 50-70% off. Had I been on the hunt for a clutch or a small going-out bag, I would have been positively gleeful, as this category of leather goods boasted fab options ranging from $100-$175.

But I don’t need a clutch or a going-out bag - that’s what Mommy’s closet is for. I need a big tote I can wear all day, every day. And the tote situation was boring at best, and fugly at worst.

It wasn’t the sizes or the prices that bugged me. Most of the totes offered were sizable enough to accommodate wallets, cameras, iPhones, make-up, extra pairs of shoes, y’know, all of life’s essentials ;). Most were also around $275, max - a reasonable price to pay for a kickass designer handbag for daily use. But the materials and colors of said totes had me totally icked out. Continue reading →

Excessories

A Study in Going Out Bags

I’ve got no problem hauling around my life during the day - my tote tends to have everything from Sugar-Free Redbulls and extra packs of Camel Lights to inspirational books my Dad thinks I should read and/or Us Weeklies. But when I’m out at night, I like to appear less high-maintenance than I am. This is why my Going Out Bags are not only small - they’re also hands-free.
Where big, leather day bags are a worthy splurge, I’d never spend anything serious on a Going Out Bag. Why? Gee, let me think - no one notices its fabulousness in dim lighting, beer gets spilled on it, it gets lost in a cab, etc. This is why I shop at thrift stores. Also why I raid my mother’s closet. The red pleather, eighties, wannabe-rockstar purse was $11.95 at Beacon’s; the gold-studded Yves Saint Laurent were, well, $0 - gotta love Mom. Both bags can be worn across the shoulder, which leaves my hands free to hold drinks and gesture wildly in conversation.
Now, I’m well aware that clutches are, like, soooo hot right now. If that’s your bag, don’t be a Bag Snob and dupe yourself into thinking the Botkier Lita Clutch is a bargain at $350, crazy face. Urban Outfitters has some reasonably priced options, amazingly enough: Check out the Large Croco Clutch, the Veranda Caning Clutch or the Deux Lux Patent Clutch, all under $50. Now that’s something to hold onto

Excessories

If the Shade Fits…

I used to be uncomfortable with the idea of no-name sunglasses.
What subtly affirms one’s loaded-ness more than a small, well-placed P R A D A on a pair of shades? But, Prada or no, I never actually enjoyed wearing my overpriced pairs. Why? Because when I purchased them (with plastic I no longer have, obvs) I was too blinded by the brand to care about the fit. My high cheekbones make shopping for sunglasses almost impossible - the second I smile, the shades levitate off of my face. These no-namers (Beacon’s Closet, $9) are the first pair that’s ever fit me perfectly - I can smirk, grin and - most importantly - cackle obnoxiously, and the sunglasses stay put. My only reservation about wearing them was that they’re kind of like Wayfarers, which are pretty effing played out. But hey, if the shade fits (and, despite outing you as a trend whore, still makes you look much cooler than you actually are), just wear it, goddammit.

Excessories

The TOTO (Take One Thing Off) Clause

It should go without saying that large, bold earrings, a statement-y necklace, rings and bangles worn all at once fuck up even the most carefully planned outfits. But it can’t go without saying, because I see this shit all the time. In lieu of me attacking random victims of such over-excessorizing with lines like, “What, was The Icing having a clearance sale?” let’s tackle the issue of outfit adornment here.
I wear two accessories almost 24/7: Diamond studs and a Cartier watch. Hard to believe, what with my being so grounded and all. While a few simple, high-quality excessories always trump a ton of plasticky, Urban Outfitters-esque crap, they’re almost entirely dependent on familial charity. Start kissing some serious ass if you haven’t yet finagled a watch and/or earrings of this ilk, but don’t do something stupid like save your money, for legit jewelry is a splurgy poo beyond our reach. Until you have the kind of dough that frees you from Cheap JAP status, look to flea markets, thrift stores and street vendors for the occasional accessory purchase. Also raid your mother’s jewelry drawer (not the stuff in the safe, naughty girl). Continue reading →

Excessories

Free People, You Little Temptress

Free People is one of my most fave brands ever, probs because their wares look more like boutique or vintage finds than like mass produced consumer crap-ola. When I wandered into their recently opened 5th Avenue branch, I told the saleslady I was “just browsing,” she gave me a dirty look (ho), and I found this bag. It was $74 - too pricey to buy on impulse, but not pricey enough to reject altogether.

When you find something that falls in between cheap and pricey, it doesn’t mean you can’t own it. It just means you can’t purchase it without adequately reflecting on why you need it. I’ve never owned a legitimately cool casual bag; I still use an Herve Chapelier from my boarding school days for hauling around my life. And I could not, not stop thinking about this one-shouldered backpack, multi-pocketed number. It was time. Continue reading →

Excessories

Legwarmers, (and the only way to wear them)

I really, really like legwarmers. I don’t know why. They’re a pain in the ass to put on, they always look a little silly, and when people glance at my lower half on the street, I can never tell if they’re thinking, “Sweet calf-wear” or “What the eff is she wearing?” I think legwarmers are sweet calf-wear, so I’m going to keep rocking them.

There’s only one way to wear legwarmers, and it requires ankle boots and leggings. American Apparel’s legwarmers are a little looser at the bottom, and thus can be pulled down over the ankle boot, giving the leggings the appearance of a flared cuff. It’s a fashion-forward sweatpant…it’s a sweater-boot…it’s a legwarmer!!!