Bluefly’s One-Day-Only 60% Off Shoe Sale is happening, like, now.
Among the goodies at reduced-reduced prices? Rafe Moc Toe Pump, $275 reduced to $100.03; Stuart Weitzman Suede Metallic Trifecta Pump, $295 reduced to $128.24.
If you’re in NEED of some foot fabulosity, I suggest getting off my site and onto theirs ASAP!
Trivia: Back in junior high, Cheap JAP broke her ankle…
(a) In a particularly intense game of Laser Tag at T.W. Sports.
(b) Leading her field hockey team to victory.
(c) Walking in high heels.
They were Steve Madden Platform Penny Loafers, to be exact. I suppose my ankles weren’t yet strong enough to handle stairs in four-inchers. Fourteen years old; already suffering for style. Que suprise!
I’ve recently been on the hunt for two kinds of shoes: One being gray pumps, the other being an ankle boot badass enough to replace my gnarled, Aldo motorcycle ones. I didn’t even consider the possibility of one shoe fulfilling both objectives. Then I wandered into the STEVEN by Steve Madden Soho store, where I zeroed in on the Loletta Bootie. If an Aldo motorcycle boot and a gray pump could reproduce, the result would be this suede mutt of a shoe. Theoretically speaking, it was totally a two for one deal.
That being said, I won’t bullshit you on the price - $149.95 is no steal. But STEVEN by Steve Madden is one of the few brands I don’t mind paying full price for, and that’s because the Shoes. Last. Fo. Eva. I’m wearing them around my apartment with sweatpants right now.
…What? A girl’s gotta practice walking sometimes. Especially if she’s prone to fashion-related injuries. 
Tagged: Boots • Shopping • STEVEN by Steve Madden
It’s rare that I choose function over fashion, and I’m not so practical that I’d ever resort to wearing traditional Crocs. But I am a style realist (sometimes). I can’t afford cabs and I don’t work out, so if I’m headed somewhere within 20 blocks of my current location, I’m doing it on foot and calling it exercise. And this need for fashionable, functional footwear presents a bigger problem than my penchant for alliteration. Especially when you’re 5′2″ (and a half, but who’s counting). Yes, my Blowfish flats have served me well, but sometimes I want a little height without a lot of pain, goddammit. I found the answer to my daytime-footwear-dilemma in the Croc Cyprus Heel.
Continue reading →
Tagged: Calculated Risks • Dirty Jerz
If shoes are to you what handbags are to me, I highly recommend getting your tush to Loehmanns, ASAP. Because in the shoe section - amidst the Steve Maddens, Michael Kors, Calvin Kleins and other usual suspects - are some kickass designer heels. Like these Celines.
Both pairs retail for $500 and were on sale for $299.99. They’re expertly crafted, sky-high, and - as much as I hate to admit it - actually look as expensive as they are. I personally wouldn’t blow $300 on a pair of shoes (not to imply that I’m against my mother occasionally surprising me with new Manolos ;). But these were beautiful to the point that I just wanted to try them on for kicks. They didn’t have my size, which is probably a good thing.
In this world, there are Shoe Gals and there are Bag Gals. While I consider myself the latter, these Celines gave me a newfound understanding of you beotches crazy enough to blow your dough on heels you’ll wear twice a month, max. If I’d had money to burn, I might have done the same exact thing.
Tagged: Label Whore • Tootsies
I usually trek to and from my serving job in BoCoCa in ripped jean shorts and Havaianas; the last thing I want to do after a shift is change into any shoe that requires blister endurance. But it’s so effing hot out. Too hot for my usual I-Don’t-Give-A-Shit-About-My-Outfit garb i.e. denim and wifebeaters. 
Too hot for anything other than sundresses. And nothing kills a cute sundress like a beat-up rubber flip flop. Oy.
Sooo, I needed some flat sandals stylish enough for a sundress, yet comfortable enough to not make me want to shoot myself after nine hours on my feet. Behold, the Diba Sallie Sandal - probs the most functional shoe I’ve ever purchased (aside from the Sketchers I wear whilst waitressing, which are effing heinous). I got mine at Something Else and it was the last pair, so that sucks for you. Just kidding. The Dibas can be found online for around $49.99 (they run a teensy bit big - go down half a size).
The best thing about these sandals? They actually stay on your feet when you’re running up and down subway stairs, subsequently reducing the amount of grime that attaches to the bottom of one’s foot in transit.
Ahh, summer in the city. Oy vey.
Tagged: Something Else • Tootsies
I’m pretty sure my father’s going to have a conniption after he reads this post, so Dad, apologies in advance - one day, I’ll actually be loaded, and I’ll buy you an airplane.
When I opened my Chase checking account, I was told I had good credit. Really, really good credit. $15,000 to be exact. Free to do what I want, indeed. Would I like a credit card? I refused, with all the power of my being. It came in the mail anyway, begging me to activate it. I snipped the sucker in half with scissors. Being broke sucks, but being broke and in credit card debt is a one-way ticket to loserville, no matter how well-dressed you are.
Somewhere in between me switching serving gigs and overdrawing my account, my credit got activated to cover my ass. This scared the shit out of me. I didn’t open my bank statements, didn’t visit Chase’s website, and didn’t do much shopping (sniffle). I had no idea what I’d put on that card over the past few months, and couldn’t bear to look until I accumulated enough moolah to pay some of it off. After a week at my new job, I put a nice chunk of change in the bank. I logged onto online banking. I pulled up the previously and intentionally hidden credit card balance. And breathed a big effing sigh of relief. In three months, I’d put a mere $402.96 on my credit card. I immediately paid off half of it, vowing to pay the balance off after my next deposit. Then I did something stupid. I went shoe shopping. Continue reading →
Tagged: Calculated Risks • Jewish Guilt • Splurge Worthy • Tootsies
I was flipping through Vogue the other day trying to find something of Cheap JAP caliber amidst the smattering of “Socialite X in Designer Y” photos (No, I don’t give a fuck about what Tinsley Mortimer is wearing, not because she doesn’t have great style, but because I don’t have enough money flying out of my tanned, toned, blonde ass to burn on haute couture. Also because I can’t pronounce “haute.”).
The most interesting thing I came across in the supposed fashion bible was an ad for Crocs. I almost bought Crocs last year - no, not the original fugly ones, I’m neither chef nor gardener - when I saw their version of the ballet flat. Alas, while the Alice Mary Jane is a worthy attempt at an ergonomic, anti-microbial, slip and odor resistant yet not entirely heinous shoe, its most impressive feature is that it’s not as fugly as its inspiration. Yawn. 
Enter the Cyprus Wedge. I haven’t tried on a pair, but based on Crocs’ track record, it’s probably the most comfortable pseudo-heel in existence. I’ve never really seen anything like it. I wouldn’t call it high-fashion, but it’s kind of chic (specifically in this color combo - the red and silver pairs are questionable). And the price, at $49.99, isn’t nearly as big of a crock as the spread of $700 snakeskin sandals hailed by this month’s Vogue.
Tagged: Conde Nasty • Tootsies
Flats frustrate me because they necessitate the same, excruciating breaking-in process as heels, wedges and boots without the payoff of adding height to your frame. Last spring, I boycotted flats altogether, opting for Havaianas as my casual footwear of choice. A few subway rides later, my blackened feet resembled those of a homeless person, and not in the cool, derelict way. In addition to a new pedicure, I needed flats cute enough for running around the city that didn’t require extensive breaking-in or Tough Strips Band-Aids. Enter Blowfish.
I was initially weirded out by the square toe (is foot-binding the new thang?) but the shoe gal at Something Else informed me, “Pointy is out, square is in.” After hours of wearing the Blowfishies, my feet weren’t just fully in tact - they felt like they’d been massaged. $40 for flats is good; for flats sans blisters, it’s even better.
Tagged: Tootsies
I’ve been on the hunt for an In-Between shoe ever since I first washed my H&M high-waisted jeans. The jeans were originally long enough to wear with 3-inch heels; unfortunately, one dryer cycle rendered them too short for pumps and too long for flats. The silver lining? An excuse to buy new shoes, obvs.
I found these We Who See Oxfords at Urban for $78 (Note: Urban’s shoes not nearly as obnoxiously overpriced as apparel). Are they the sexiest things you’ve ever seen? No. But they’re interesting, which means they’re either ugly, cool, or both.
The heel on the Oxford is low enough that it makes my H&Ms wearable again, but what I like most about the shoe is its weirdness: With pants, it’s a subdued, tan pump of a supporting actor, but with shorts or skirts, it’s the star. Continue reading →
Tagged: Denim • Menswear • Urban Outfitters
After mourning the loss of my Dolce snakeskin pumps, I realized something: A Cheap JAP’s love of fashion should never inhibit her life. If she’s running late for dinner with some friends, she’s got neither time to plod along daintily to preserve her pricey heels, nor money to splurge on a cab. If you don’t spend $300 on designer shoes, you won’t freak about tossing them after a few months of night time pavement-pounding.
With clothing, I stick to the no-one-item-over-40-bucks rule as diligently as possible; this allows me at least two or three things for a Benjamin. Some shoes can be had for $40 or less: Converse, Havaianas, flats on sale, etc. But high heels are different, and don’t give me that Payless crap - this is about looking loaded too, people.
These adorable Guess and Steven by Steve Madden heels were purchased at Bloomingdales (whose shoe selections are, shockingly, not entirely overpriced). If memory serves, my bill totaled $130 - the Guesses were around $50, the Stevens around $80.
I firmly believe that a great handbag and a fabulous pair of shoes paired with a white t-shirt and jeans is all one needs to achieve effortless chic. The subtext of “great” and “fabulous” usually reads “very, very expensive,” but for me, the jury’s still out on shoes. Here’s why.
This Dolce and Gabbana snakeskin pump is perhaps one of the most gorgeous things I’ve ever purchased - I got the pair “on sale” at Saks, $550 reduced to $300. I was spoiled enough to think this was a bargain at the time, what with Daddy’s plastic and all.
I genuinely loved these shoes, and love makes you do stupid things like bring your snakeskin pumps to Northwestern and wear them out to frat parties when there’s still snow on the ground. Soon, the heels were peeling and gnarled; no cobbler could save them.
Can a shoe be both fabulous and reasonably priced? It’s a tall order, but worth an attempt in the very least.
Tagged: Tootsies
