I Love A Good Story

The Conquest of the Century (21)

c21em51 As I pondered the possibility that even I - renowned shopping predator - couldn’t triumph over the beast that is Century 21, I happened upon the cocktail dress section. Some of the stuff had serious transitional, work-to-party potential. My arms laden with stuff, I met Krip at the dressing room entrance for one more shot. She looked disheveled and exhaustified - also like she wanted to kill me.

I ushered her into the dressing room with assurances that it would all be over soon, then proceeded to collapse into a corner, head down in shame. It was one thing to fail on my own behalf. But I’d subjected my friend to florescent lit, ill-fitting madness with no pay-off, and that was infinitely worse.
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“Oh, this is PERFECT,” said Krip. It wasn’t until I looked up and saw that dress on her - a short-sleeved, A-line number from Tahari by Arthur S. Levine - that I knew she wasn’t kidding. It WAS perfect. A smashing black satin/polka dot dress from the same line prompted an even more enthusiastic response from Krip; she looked uber hot!

I’d pulled a few dresses in the wrong size that Krip insisted on trying on anyway; as I zipped her into a too-tight, cranberry number, Krip attempted to talk the dress into fitting her. I chimed in; we realized we were trying to reason with an inanimate object; hysterics ensued.

We were actually having FUN on a shopping trip. OMFG!

In addition to the two Tahari by ASL dresses (around $70 each, reduced from $130 each), we snagged a red Kenneth Cole short-sleeved sweater ($59.97, reduced from $129). But the score of the day was a cashmere, herringbone, sleeveless shirtdress by Ralph Lauren - a timeless item coveted by many and worn by few. c21em11 Even so, we didn’t buy it because of its instant-classic status; we bought it because it looked fab on Krip. And it better have been 100% cashmere, because it was originally $760. We paid $199.99 - NBD. Krip’s stuff totaled around $408 - well within our previously established budget. At full retail price, she would have paid around $1,037 for the same four items, which would have been effing absurd.

Yes, Krip and I triumphed over Century 21 by getting what we came for, sticking to our budget and leaving before we lost our minds. But for me, what won the day was seeing Krip strut her stuff in the dressing room once we’d figured out what worked for her. I’d achieved something all too rare in the world of women’s apparel: I’d found clothing that made my friend feel as fabulous as she already is.

I Love A Good Story

The Battle of the Century (21)

When I shop with my girlfriends, I don’t do it in the traditional, let’s-both-try-on-stuff-and-lie-about-how-good-it-looks-and-silently-compete-over-who-looks-better sense of the activity. Shopping is my JOB, people; I’m obvs better at it than my girlfriends. So when I shop with a pal, I’m not so much her friend as I am her personal shopper. Finding stuff for myself is, at this point, cake. Finding stuff for a friend, shopping according to her tastes, her budget, her style and her size is an opportunity for me to really put my skills to the test. And tested they were, yesterday at Century 21.
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CLIENT: My childhood bestie, Krip.
MISSION: To find work-to-party clothes for all those celeb-heavy events she plans.
BUDGET: $300 - $500.
TIME FRAME: 2 hours.

On the 3rd Floor - Women’s Apparel - I ignored Krip’s attempts at casual conversation; I already had my game face on as it enabled me to pretend I knew what I was doing. In truth, I had no plan. Overwhelmed by the abundance of merchandise and Eurotrash, I suddenly wondered why I’d chosen to subject my friend to a store in which I’ve had little personal success. How the eff was I going to sift through this material shitstorm and find things for her if I’d never really done it for myself?

I kept my doubts to myself, and got down to biznass. An hour later, we’d amassed 40 or so items - well over the dressing room’s 12 item limit - and were uber-psyched about our picks. That is, until Krip started trying on the first batch. Nothing was fitting. Nothing was working. She knew it, I knew it, and I didn’t bullshit her by telling her something looked good when it didn’t. No one buys for the sake of buying on my watch!

Still, I wasn’t going to let my friend fall victim to this bitch of a store. I went back to the battlefield, resolved to find whatever it was that would make shopping what it’s supposed to be: FUN.

To be continued…

I Love A Good Story

This Nose Knows

When I was sixteen, I did something so bold, so in-your-face, so completely out of character that I hardly recognized myself after the fact. I got my nose pierced. That was eight years ago, mere moments before nose piercings were all the rage for teens and twenties alike. I’ve never been overly trendy but yowzah! was I on top of that one. It was three whole months before I went back to boarding school and had to take it out. Something about a dress code or something. Pfft.

nosering3Like any gal, I’ve had my fair share of heartbreak. But my brief tryst with a nose piercing was the one affair I never really got over. For eight long years, I waited for the right time to rekindle this old flame. I finally went for it this past weekend, when I woke up feeling particularly ballsy. A few hours and a lot of hand-holding on behalf of my BFF Lucy later, and the deed was done. It hurt like hell but hey, that’s love baby.

I’m pretty sure that nose piercings are so Out, they’re not even on anyone’s radar anymore. So I’d like to take this opportunity to say I don’t give a rat’s ass. I happen to think my nose was made to be pierced: You gotta rock what you got.

The whole deal - piercing, pale blue crystal stud, Studex After-Piercing Lotion - cost a total of $46 at Andromeda Tattoo on Saint Marks. It also reminded me of the awesomeness of the big, bad city in which I live. There aren’t many places where you can wake up feeling bold and - two hours later - have a hole in your face to show for it. I really do heart New York.

I Love A Good Story

Dressed Up to Get Lucky - Outfit #3

luckydc11 Before we discuss my third - and possibly best - entry for Lucky’s “My Denim Transformation” Stylist Challenge, let’s talk about this blazer. Last January on my birthday, my uber fab mother and I hit Fisch for the Hip, where she immediately zeroed in on this Marc Jacobs number. Originally priced at $600 or so, it was still a splurge at its re-sale price. While I can’t recall the exact number, it had to have been offensive enough that Mom had to physically force me out of my coat and into the garment. I pretended not to want it; she pretended not to hear me.

“It’s your birthday,” she hissed at the time, “You will thank me later.” Of course, she was right. So thank you Mommy, for forcing this MJ blazer upon me on my 24th birthday. (If I wasn’t a stereotype before that last sentence…)

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To my label whore’s dream of a blazer (and to the same F21 jeans, obvs), I added the following:
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BCBG teal, ruched tank (snagged for $19 at the Atlantic City Outlets); bizarreslashunique, pearl button-embellished, gray sweater tank (Beacon’s Closet, like ten bucks); clip-on rhinestone/faux onyx earrings (P.S. Flea Market, $5); Guess pumps I’ve had fo eva (fo eva meaning two years plus).

I think we have a winner here, dolls. Your thoughts?

I Love A Good Story

Dressed Up to Get Lucky - Outfit #2

Mmmkay, here’s another look in the spirit of Lucky Mag’s Dress Up Your Denim Challenge. (With the same Forever 21 jeans, in the spirit of Cheap JAP).
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Jacket, Ralph Lauren Purple Label, (a gift!); Lace top, Goodwill, $12.99.
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Boots, MICHAEL Michael Kors, $295 (Oy!); “Chanel” clip-ons, thieved from Mom’s jewelry drawer, $0.
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I’m not sure if it’s dressy enough to fit the bill. Probs because I’m not showing much skin, and I never really feel dressed up if I’m not showing any skin. This tendency will not bode well for me once I’m in my thirties.

I am sure that it rocks. Then again, it’s rare that I don’t feel that way about my outfits. Convincing yourself that THIS outfit is the BEST OUTFIT EVER every time you get dressed requires a zen-like focus, but it’s a pretty nifty trick once you’ve mastered it.

I should also mention that said trick requires a penchant for delusion and a slightly crazed obsession with material things. I’m just saying. ;)

I Love A Good Story

Dressed Up to Get Lucky - Outfit #1

Mmkay, here’s one of my possible entries for Lucky Mag’s My Denim Transformation Contest. I’ve dressed up my fabulously cheap Forever 21 jeans ($24.99) not only to keep my outfit Cheap JAPtastic, but also because these totally budget thangs continually snag me more compliments than any of my brand name pairs. The components of the outfit include the following:
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Diane von Furstenberg top, (purchased years ago, in honor of my 21st birthday party; worn once since then i.e. I’m an ass), price upon request; Bebe fur-collared cardigan, Beacon’s Closet, $10.95.

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Celine peep-toe platform pumps, (purchased five-plus years ago, suffered broken heel two years ago, salvaged by heroic cobbler one year ago), over $400 - Dad almost cut up the gold card in front of my face; beaded necklace, P.S. 321 Flea Market, $3.
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And now, I bring you…

Dressed-up denim entry numero uno!

A heinously expensive blouse and a pair of overpriced pumps could transform any pair of under-$30 jeans. What’s so impressive about these F21’s is that they don’t even look cheap to begin with.

I wonder if I’ll lose points for having my hair in my face/ trying to look really, really cool. I’m thinking probs.

More potential entries en route!

I Love A Good Story

Comment of the Day

My childhood bestie Sarah’s take on the booties:
“I obviously adore these and need them to survive.”

From Fave Alert: STEVEN by Steve Madden, 2008/10/22 at 12:31 PM

When she says “need,” she’s not kidding. A shout out to the gal with the most kickass shoe collection I’ve ever seen. Try NOT to buy these in MORE THAN ONE COLOR, mmkay? ;)

I Love A Good Story

Where There’s a (Good) Will…

gwtahari Now, I don’t like to brag; anyone who knows me personally can attest to my exemplary modesty in shopping and in life (HA!). Alas yesterday, whilst leaving no hanger unturned at Goodwill, I paused to admire my armfull of Goodies (henceforth, all Goodwill finds will be known as such) and thought:

I am effing awesome at shopping.

Yup; my fancy, overpriced, liberal arts education has brought me to this conclusion. (Sorry Dad).

Shopping at Goodwill is a test of faith. Sooo deep, right?! But for serious. We don’t just love to shop cheap because it’s fiscally responsible. We love it for the thrill of the score. What you see here is an olive-plaid, button-front, velvet-trimmed Tahari blazer - an item that, given its brand, would retail for $400 and change - for $12.99. What you don’t see is the heavy lifting that went into finding this piece (and not just figuratively speaking; I was hauling around fifteen or so garments when I found it). Right before I entered the dressing room, after 45 minutes spent wreaking havoc on the racks, the score caught my eye. I didn’t need another blazer, but COME ON.

I’m not schpieling for accolades (eh fine, maybe a little) - I do have a point. When I hit Goodwill, there was no this-stuff’s-gross, no I-wish-I-was-at-Barneys and no I-hope-I-find-something-decent. Instead, I was thinking, “I WILL SELL THIS HOUSE TODAY” except with buying clothes.

A score like this blazer wouldn’t be any fun if it was the first thing I’d found. I put the time in, I left no stone unturned, and it paid off in the form of a Cheap JAPtastic piece as I knew it would. It will continue to pay off when I get compliments on the it and get to brag about - err, I mean, disclose - the fact that it was $12.99.

When the going gets tough and you’re ready to throw in the towel (i.e. hightail it uptown and open a Saks account), remember: Shopping cheap and looking loaded is like baseball, and I’m your Jimmy Dugan.

It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great.

I Love A Good Story

Eat Cereal, Make Handbag

gojibag1 Now, I’m more shop-a-holic than health nut. Obvs. Alas, bargain hunting often requires as much fuel as a hard core workout, particularly when you’re as ruthless as I am.

If Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, [me] & goji is the breakfast of everyone - exercise enthusiasts and fab fashionistas alike.

This make-your-own-cereal company - the brainchild of some studly former NU soccer dudes - is basically fun in a box (or in this case, a cylindrical, artfully designed capsule). gojibagAnd the fun doesn’t stop after you’ve created, named (mine was “Wake the Eff Up”), and consumed your custom artisanal grains, nuts and berries. Then, you get to take your empty capsule, indulge your closet penchant for arts and crafts, turn it into a handbag, and win free cereal.

Pretty effing sweet right?! All it took was some leftover gift wrap, a roll of electrical tape and a pair of scissors. (Full disclosure: I used a very large, scary kitchen knife to poke holes in the capsule. Expert crafters only).

It’s amazing what you can do after a balanced breakfast.

I Love A Good Story

Comment of the Day

From my Uncle Chip (who may or may not be trying to get back at me for comparing his enthusiastically eighties style with American Apparel’s Latest Offenses;)):

“My darling niecey.. I’m glad you’ve decided to put your punim* in the pictures. Now, SMILE!! like you’re having fun. Get rid of the pouty, stiff lipped, firm cheekbone look that all the rich models who don’t read your site would use when they’re strutting pompously down runways wearing shit that you’d never put on you site in the first place.”

@ 6:21 pm on September 19th, 2008
*punim = Yiddish slang for face.

I Love A Good Story

When Closet Cleaning Yields Buried Treasure

Like all princesses, I’m revered by the village (Mom, Dad, two psychotic terriers, my little brother’s hormonal buddies) the moment I enter the kingdom (the house I grew up in). My childhood bedroom - complete with canopy bed, natch - has not been converted into an office, den or guest room: It’s still my domain. This is good because it means I get a second closet. This is bad because it means I have to periodically organize said closet.

ralphjacket I recently embarked on this grueling process, and found something of extreme interest. Four words: Ralph. Lauren. Purple. Label. Where had this jacket come from? Why had it been relegated to the never-wears section? Who was responsible for this atrocity?!

Me, of course. After picking my jaw up off the floor, I recalled that Mom had bought the piece for me three years ago on a trip to Normandy. She insisted it was gorgeous, I insisted it was “not my style”…not knowing then that I had no style to speak of at the time.

The moral of the schpiel? Certain things are worth holding onto, even if you think you’ll never wear the item in question. If it’s beautifully made (and/or reeeeeeally expensive), store it, and give it a whirl six months later. You might just change your mind.

*Jeans, Salt, $99 at Barney’s Scarehouse Sale; Boots, Steven by Steve Madden, $195 (and totally worth it. Got ‘em two years ago; they still look new, I still get compliments); Lace Top, Goodwill, $12.99.

I Love A Good Story

Comment of the Day

From Sal re: It’s Fashion Week?
“You’re my flippin’ hero for saying this. I don’t want to think about spring, I don’t want to hear about all the celebs swanning around Manhattan in their clouds of superiority, and I DON’T want to stare at emaciated girls wearing shit I can’t afford. Bleh.”

Posted @10:38am on September 11, 2008.

I Love A Good Story

Comment of the Day

From KD re: my Intermix Sample Sale experience

“I am so insanely jealous! I was thinking about going, but since I read the review on Racked, I didn’t go because everything seemed insanely discounted but still upwards of $100!!!! I wanted that bodysuit ever since I had seen it on Rihanna (not because of the fact that she was wearing it, but that was the first time I saw it) and now I’m so mad I didn’t go!!! *Bangs head on wall*.”
@ 3:04 pm on September 2nd, 2008

I Love A Good Story

Intermix Sample Sale: Full Report

If I had to choose one item to buy in every single color, it would be a Theory, One-Size-Fits-All, Nylon/Elastane blend Tank. I own a beige one that’s seen better days. I wear it layered during the day and by itself at night; it manages to be both the sexiest and the most versatile article of clothing I own. I found a few variations of said Theory tank at the Intermix Sample Sale and knew immediately what I’d be spending my dough on. What I didn’t know was how little I’d ultimately spend.
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The bodysuit pictured was originally $120. Its sample sale price was $49 - more than reasonable for something fab, body-conscious and Theory. I also snagged a Theory black tank, figuring it’d be far less than its $90 retail price as it was marked “damaged” (i.e. one thread was out of place), and a pair of Intermix leggings in the $9 bin (originally priced at $68, what the eff were they thinking).

theorybod2 I stepped up to the register expecting to be out at least a hundred bucks. So you can imagine my shock when the salesgirl chirped, “Your total is twenty-seven dollars.”
Huh?
I needed an explanation.
“The leggings were $9, oh, and all Theory tanks are $9 too…”
Right. But what about the $49 bodysuit?
She smiled, and shrugged. “Looks like a tank top to me.”
I thanked the shopping gods for shedding a little light, and bolted for the door.
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Bodysuit, Theory, $9; Skirt, Go International for Target, $8.71; Necklace, P.S. 321 Flea Market $3. This might just be the cheapest outfit I own. Not that it looks it. ;)

I Love A Good Story

Barney’s Warehouse Sale…with Mom

Mom was in the city yesterday, and I’d planned on introducing her to Century 21. An hour before we were scheduled to meet, I received the following text:

Barney’s Warehouse Sale starts tomorrow, 50-75% off. Are you game? I wouldn’t possibly consider going into this one without you.

I immediately broke into a cold sweat. But I knew the Barney’s Warehouse Sale was more up Mom’s alley than Century 21. I also knew she’d be footing the bill.

When I met her inside, she’d already accumulated an armful of goodies. She seemed immune to the throngs of half-naked women trying things on, and meandered through the racks with experienced grace. Inspired by her courage under fire, I put on my game face and started filling a massive plastic trashbag of my own with designer-discount fare. It wasn’t until we were ready to try our things on that things went awry.

Mom: Umm, problem.
Me: What?
Mom: I’m not wearing a bra.
Me: You didn’t wear a BRA to the Barney’s Warehouse Sale?!!
Mom: Well, I didn’t know there wouldn’t be dressing rooms. Here, hold this.

So there we were: Me, holding up a $1000 Lanvin coat to cover my Mom so she didn’t expose herself whilst trying on Diane von Furstenberg frocks. Continue reading →