CheapJAP

Sartorial Etiquette

MAILBAG: Boot Blues

Subject: I need these boots
Hi, I need your help. I need these boots. I don’t have $500 and even if I did shopbop is already sold out of size 7. I am a shoe lady to your handbag lady, I’m going to think about these and dream of them and covet the bitches who wear them until they, or something very like them, are mine. Any ideas?

Thank you!
Jennie

Subject: Re: I need these boots
jennie, dollface - i feel your pain. let’s not pretend that you wouldn’t have dropped $500 you don’t have on those gorgeous joie boots if only shopbop hadn’t been sold out of your size - they’re effing gorgeous, and if i was a shoe gal, resistance might have been futile. alas, any $500 item - be it a boot, bag or otherwise - is a serious splurge and as such, requires some thought. if you splurge on impulse, you’ll not only be out $500, but also resent the goddamn things for hindering your ability to pay your rent. a splurge should be enjoyed! if boots are your thang, start saving some moolah now and do some research. some ideas to get you started:

Chinese Laundry Turbo Suede Wedge Boot, $99.95 - $109. STEVEN by Steve Madden Reins Boot, $259.95.

Elie Tahari Acorn Suede Juliana Flat Boot, $357 (originally $595). Frye Jane Cuff Boot, $348.
i know your over-the-moon for the joie over-the-knees (ooh i’m so clevaah), but jpegs can’t tell you whether or not you’ll be able to walk in those boots. ya gotta try ‘em on.

cheers to the hunt - keep me posted!
mwah!
Cheap JAP

Sartorial Etiquette

MAILBAG: Schoolgirl in the City

Subject: (no subject)
hey,
sooo i’m going to college in a couple of weeks and i was wondering what clothes i should have for a school in a big city and also a bag for my school stuff. i know you answered a girl’s question about a bag for college but i need help and have a tendency to splurge on bags [usually coach] and i’d
appreciate your help finding one that i can carry my school stuff in and isn’t a backpack or a canvas totebag [both of which i used last year]. help me. i just threw out three pairs of gray sweatpants. my fashion sense is bad. i need an intervention.

-alyssa

Subject: Re: (no subject)
oh honey!
firstly, stop kicking your own ass about your lack of fashion sense. i was a big fat DON’T when i was a froshie; sometimes, i still strike out. fashion’s a learning experience, (just like college!) so let’s get you dressed for success. your tendency to splurge on coach bags tells me you’re willing to drop at least $200 on a tote (which, for a bag you’ll wear throughout your undergrad career, isn’t entirely unreasonable). i scoured bluefly.com first: check these.

cole haan gemma tote, $495 reduced to $266.99. tufi duek helena tote, $550 reduced to $296.99. a little more chic than those intertwined, canvas coach c’s, no?

urban outfitters has a bunch of options for all budgets too. the zip pocket messenger, $88, won’t hold a laptop or a heavy textbook, but it’s sleek and fab for classes with less baggage. but this sabina leather foldover bag, $245, is my fave. you can wear it nine different ways - it expands, it contracts, it’s like, alive or something.

i’m strongly against purchasing your other college essentials online, especially because EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE GOES ON SALE AROUND LABOR DAY. hit the sales near your hometown, and look for the following:

1. a pair of comfortable, flat boots; they should be roomy enough at the knee to accommodate pants.

2. straight-leg jeans. if you want to rock them day AND night, dark denim is the way to go.

3. a coat. this obvs depends on what city you’ll be attending school in. if it’s nyc, a fitted, wool peacoat is preppy-chic; if it’s chicago, be realistic (at northwestern, i wore a fitted, northface bomber jacket complete with furry hood); if it’s l.a., something lightweight like a canvas trench will do just fine.

4. a few loose-fitting, tunic-esque, lightweight sweaters - (deep v-necks or loose cardigans are best). don’t stress about going-out tops until after you’ve arrived and scoped the social scene (then, hit h&m and forever 21. nothing effs up evening clothes and shoes like college; spend little, party lots).

5. leggings. because after an all-nighter (business OR pleasure ;)) you won’t give a shit about looking cute for class.

good luck doll - you’ll do great
mwah!
Cheap JAP

Sartorial Etiquette

MAILBAG: Questionable InVESTments

Subject: Gushing & MAILBAG
Hi CheapJAP:
I love love LOVE your site. It is definitely one of my TOP 5 blogs and, believe me, for reasons I can’t quite explain, I read a lot of blogs.

Since I love not only your frugal point of view, but also your awesome style, maybe you can help me out. I recently purchased this vest from urban outfitters. I got in in white. I didn’t have any ideas as to what I would wear it with and I reasoned that I could figure it out once it was all mine. Unfortunately,this hasn’t happened and I’m kind of stuck. It is a halter so it looks kind of goofy hanging open so I think it will need to remain buttoned.

What do you say? Any ideas???

Thanks in advance, k.

Subject: Re: Gushing and MAILBAG
hiiii kyl,
i actually had your question in mind on my latest cheap jap challenge; as the vest pictured was one of the less trashy items at mandee, it was both a suitable challenge item AND an answer to your query, so i obvs bought it ($19.99, not baaad). see, i too struggle with vests. whenever i put one on, i’m always like, “what’s the point?” i think they’re ridiculous and gratuitous over fitted tees a la urban, and rather man-ish worn open.

alas, after multiple failed outfit attempts, i had an ah ha! moment. the best vests serve the same purpose as a belt - they’re an accessory used to shape something shapeless, like a loose button-down shirt, or a jersey-knit t-shirt dress. i paired mine with what i’m fairly sure is a men’s button-down nightshirt and theory pants, both scored at beacon’s closet. it totally works, riiiiight?!

thanks so much for your comments; psyched you like the site! i hope these tips allow you to enjoy your investment sometime soon.

mwah!
Cheap JAP

Sartorial Etiquette

MAILBAG: Ooooh College!

[Note: MAILBAG is copied and pasted directly from cheapjap@gmail.com’s inbox and is therefore exempt from any and all grammatical, capitalization and/or spelling errors.]

Subject: hey
Dear CheapJAP:
First off, I adore your sight. It’s amazing. And you update regularly, which is beyond fabulous.
My conundrum: I want a bag for school. My finances are probably much less jap-y than yours, but we cant all be that awesome. I’m going to be a college freshman, and at the university I’m attending, I don’t think many people carry purses? (IIs this even normal?) I have a purple swiss army messenger bag that i’ve been using for my senior year of high school, which is functional, if not as stylish as i’d like.

Could you point me in the direction of a well-made, yet reasonably priced bag that would be functional enough to carry my macbook, a text book, and perhaps a notebook, yet stylish enough to be a purse? I like leather, but it doesn’t have to be leather. I’m also more partial to brown than black, but I love color, especially bright orange. I’m guessing bright orange and brown and leather all at once would look silly, but I’m just trying to give you an idea.

Thank you, and keep up the fabulousness!
-Kelley

Subject: Re: hey
kelley -
apologies for the uber-delayed response; tre rude of moi. re: your bag conundrum, know this: any bag large enough to cart around a laptop, text books and notebooks isn’t a bag that doubles as a night-time bag. unless you’re bringing a 30 pack of natty ice to the frat house…then, by all means. now, as i’m a handbag whore, our perceptions of “reasonably priced” aren’t likely to coincide. lucky for you, i did some outside-of-the-box thinking - i hope you’ll find these suggestions useful.
Continue reading →

Sartorial Etiquette

MAILBAG: A Clutching Conundrum

[Note: MAILBAG is copied and pasted directly from cheapjap@gmail.com’s inbox and is therefore exempt from any and all grammatical, capitalization and/or spelling errors.]

Subject: Question for CheapJAP
Dear CheapJap,
Sarah P. introduced me on to your funny blog. Our senses of style are very different (I kind of dress like Charlotte York and have never been in Forever 21, though I like finding Theory and Lilly Pulitzer on sale at Filene’s Basement!) but I thought I would write to you because you come up with great ideas an how to pull off somewhat odd clothing. So here is my style connundrum (sp?): I purchased this bag in black thinking it would be so cute and spruce up a black winter coat or tan trench….

It says “medium fabric” but if you read the fine print (which I didn’t) its actually straw. The patent leather and bronze channel-ish chain strap comes off and its like a perfect size not too big but not too small clutch but its F-ing STRAW and Animal print and has patent leather trim! Do I return it? Do I wear it with neutral/black outfits to be a little sexy during the day? Can I wear a straw bag at night? I kind of love it but I also think its the strangest thing.

Any help/ideas would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks, Emily

Subject: Re: Question for CheapJAP
emily,
filene’s sells theory?! um, OMFG. thanks for the tip. now, to address your conundrum:

do NOT kick your own ass about this purchase; i literally had to zoom in nine times on the pic to determine what the material was. you’re right about one thing - it is effing STRAW, and straw ain’t easy to pull off. but there is a way. there is always a way.
Continue reading →

Sartorial Etiquette

Hope Nuggets

So, last night, I’m hauling ass to the R train in my Gold Michael Kors Pumps and I breeze by this woman on the street. As I’m about to descend the subway stairs, the following exchange occurs:

Very Nice Woman: Miss? Miss?!
Me: (irritated, I am so effing late) Yes?
Very Nice Woman: Can I share something with you about your outfit?

I’m assuming she’s going to tell me how fab I look, obvs. My irritation subsides, and I put on my sweetest, most gracious, compliment-accepting face.
Me: Of course!
Very Nice Woman: You look very nice, but, umm, it’s your shoes. They still have the pricetags on the bottom.
Continue reading →

Sartorial Etiquette

MAILBAG: Sleeveless in Seattle

[Note: MAILBAG is copied and pasted directly from cheapjap@gmail.com’s inbox and is therefore exempt from any and all grammatical, capitalization and/or spelling errors.]

Subject: question about taming an inner label whore
I moved from Florida to Seattle, WA. So all of my summer wear has been shut up and no longer in style since last summer. Your east coast but I was wondering if you’d heard anything about shopping in the Emerald City without having to sell your soul. I found your blog on stumbleupon.com and have been cracking up while my boyfriend remains glued to the tv with some kind of killing game, because what other kind is there? Thanks for the laughs, and hopefully you may know of some hidden gem in this big freaking city.
Teresa

Subject: Re: question about taming an inner label whore
hey teresa,
the closest i’ve been to seattle is portland, oregon - a city whose thrift stores put nyc’s to shame - so fear not! fabulous shopping does exist outside of the tri-state area. i did a bit of research; it appears your new city boasts a Forever 21, an outlet shopping mall that includes j.crew, banana and burberry (and fine, coldwater creek and eddie bauer - ICK - but hey, i guess it’s chilly out there), and - according to yelp.com - a “TON of vintage stores,” with Sugartown Vintage being the heavy fave among them. shopping in your new hometown seems like it requires a car - i’m hoping you have one. if gas prices are getting you down, sell your boyfriend’s xbox and killing games - you’ll get at least a few tanks out of it, and he won’t mind because vehicular access will help you to look and dress awesome 24/7. Continue reading →

Sartorial Etiquette

Lowballing on Canal

I usually jack up the volume on my headphones when weaving through Canal Street’s not adorably clueless tourist crowds.
“Miss?! You want handbag?! Big, leather?! You want Chanel?! You want Dior?!”
Yes I want handbag, big, leather. Yes I want Chanel. Yes I want Dior. Know what I don’t want? To be conned into buying fakes by little - albeit frightening - old Asian ladies. Alas, sometimes they know just what to say to get you to stop, drop and roll out the dough.
“Van Cleef and Arpel? You like?”
My friend Kendall works at Sotheby’s; the Van Cleef and Arpels Alhambra necklace is about as big over there as the Tiffany Heart Tag toggle link necklace is for Bat Mitzvahs. Her boss owns multiple versions and colors of the Alhambra, which retails for around $350. Kendall’s boss recently let her in on a dirty little secret; she bought her Alhambras on Canal. A fake in Sotheby’s? What is the world coming to?! Continue reading →

Sartorial Etiquette

Mind Your P’s and Q’s

Unless you consider the latest Lily Pulitzer print avant garde, it’s safe to say that WASPs aren’t as traditionally trendy as us JAPs. But where table manners and political correctness are concerned, they pretty much kick our asses every time. My mother gave me Tiffany’s Table Manners for Hannukah years ago; I might know which fork is the salad fork, but I still talk over people, laugh too loudly and often neglect to bite my tongue when there’s an elephant in the room. I can’t tell you how to host a dinner party because I can’t cook. I can, however, instruct you on how to respond to the inevitable compliments and questions you’ll receive upon reinvigorating your wardrobe and personal style with Cheap JAP tactics.

Scenario: You’re out with some friends wearing a fab, black, mini-but-not-too-mini dress you scored at Forever 21. A female acquaintance pulls you aside to gush about the awesomeness of your apparel, and begs to know where you got it.

“This dress? I got it at a little boutique somewhere…I’m totally spacing on the name but I’ll text it to you if I remember.”

This response is brilliant on multiple levels. A “little boutique” suggests your dress is anywhere from $150 to $500 and your “spacing on the name” means you shop so much, you can’t even keep track of where you go or how much you spend.

*If you genuinely like and trust the gushing female in question, go ahead and spread the good word. But do so very, very quietly