The Damaged DVF

When Mom and I hit Barney’s Scarehouse Sale a while back, she snagged a totally gorge, uber sexy, in-your-face RED Diane von Furstenburg wrap dress at less than half its original price. (We fought over it for a millisecond, then I realized the length/color combo overwhelmed my 5’2” frame and conceded defeat to my taller, blonder, mother. But I digress.) A few months ago, whilst scouring her dressing room for stuff to steal, I found the aforementioned dress balled up on the floor and inquired as to why.

Mom: Ugh. UGH. Don’t even get me started on that dress.


Me: What’s wrong with it?


Mom: Holes! Holes EVERYWHERE! All along the seams, I took it to the tailor, she can’t fix it, UGH. I’m SO irritated.

Muhaha. Where Mom views a damaged dress as a waste of space, I see it as a transformational garment opportunity, i.e. something I can hack up with scissors into something else.

Me: Can I take it?


Mom: (furrowing brows) What are you going to DO to it?


Me: Don’t worry about it. YOU’RE not wearing it.


Mom: Oy. Fine.

Look, I respect designer goodies, obvs. I respect them so much that I refuse to let them go unworn.



Most label whores would tsk tsk at my scissoring a DVF wrap dress, but when said wrap dress is (a) too long for your frame and (b) has sporadic holes along the seams of the skirt portion, anything you can do to salvage the ruffled fabulosity of the top portion goes.

I cut about two feet of hole-y material off the bottom, and gave the “hem” a scalloped edge (yes, I AM that good with scissors). And now it’s a top, and an effing awesome one at that. Yaay.