Oversized Bow Thong Takes Purposeless Lingerie to New Heights

Every time I hit Shopbop for Hanky Pankies, I make the mistake of forgetting to browse by brand. Instead, I hit the general “Panties” category, where I’m inevitably confronted by a slew of offenses in the form of two hundred dollar underwear.

I’ve always wondered how upscale lingerie companies a la Kiki de Montparnasse stay in business, but I’m not the kind of jackhole who’d ever pony up two benjamins to find out.

Think a $195 thong is the stupidest thing in existence?

THINK AGAIN.What. The. FUCK.

The fact this garment costs $175 is par for the Kiki course and heretofore, the least of my concerns. No. What concerns me most is the Why factor, as in why, WHY does it EXIST?

Color, season and general over-the-toppedness suggest it’s post-wedding bridal garb, you know, in case you feel like putting on a tail after tying the knot.

It’s a piss poor explanation at best, but so is the idiocy you see before you, so whatevs.

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