American Apparel’s Latest Offenses

I’m kind of angry with American Apparel. In fact, my irritation has increased in direct proportion to the brand’s median pricetag. Suddenly, instead of fifteen-dollar tees, we have Forty-Five Dollar Shiny Zipper-Front Bodysuits and Sixty-Eight Dollar Bull Denim Slim Slacks. If I wanted to spend over $50 on mediocre jeans, I’d shop at Urban Outfitters, assbags.

I’ll concede that some American Apparel items are worth paying for. (The Nylon Tricot High-Waisted Legging is a bodyshaper, leg-slimmer, and tummy-flattener all-in-one; for anything that makes you look a solid seven lbs lighter, $42 is chump change). But a few gems can’t excuse the heinousness they’re hawking as of late. Here’s the worst of the worst.



Metallics – in small doses – are sometimes okay. Blinding, Shiny Windbreakers are not okay. This jacket overwhelms anything one could possibly wear with it – not a problem for AA models as they’re barely clothed to begin with, but def an issue for everyone else. If I was going to a costume party as a glowworm, I still wouldn’t waste $58 on this p.o.s.

I’m pretty sure my Uncle Chip has a pair of sweatpants in this print that he wore for most of 1986.  I’m not really sure what’s attractive about American Apparel’s Afrika Line, other than that pretending to care about Africa is, like, so hot right now. If these leggings were $10 and ALL the proceeds went to saving Darfur, I might buy them out of guilt. But spending $34 on something this fugly that funds ZERO charities is all kinds of crazy.


Witness Le String. Le String is a ten dollar piece of ribbon you’re supposed to tie around a shapeless dress to make it borderline cute.This multi-colored look is comprised of five Le Strings, and is therefore $50. Le Stupid!

AA’s Le Sac Dress is supposed to be appealing, i.e. worth the $38 it costs, because it can be worn nine different ways or something. Too bad all nine of those ways do nothing to make it any less Sac-like.