Yesterday afternoon, I stopped by (drumroll please…) the only British import coveted by American twentysomething women even more than the King of Dignified Badasses himself (Clive Owen, obvs).Having previously viewed their supposedly budget-friendly merch online, I entered TopShop with low expectations. I subsequently witnessed individual acts of perversion SO profound and disgusting that decorum might prohibit listing them here, if I had any to begin with.
While other Budget Babes concede that the line isn’t Cheap, most are too drunk on KateMoss-ade to resist TopShop’s charms.
Fortunately (or unfortunately) for you, my impulse to call BULLSHIT trumps my appreciation for Fashion.
Here’s the icky truth about this bitch of a store.
As some girls manage to make garments heinous to the naked eye look legitimately fab, I’m going to try not to judge the hell out of the study in neon slop that is the Multi Zebra Oversized Vest. You want to go balls-out eighties, I got nothin’ but respect. Just try to do so with a trendy cotton tank that ISN’T fifty bucks; that’s why we have Forever 21. These Witchcraft Printed Leggings are just as ludicrous as some of American Apparel’s styles, except at AA, they’d cost around $26. TopShop charges $44. For fucking cotton leggings. What are they, hand-painted?
The pricetags on TopShop-brand dresses start at around $50, minimum, and end at around $125, but they’re only semi-nauseating in comparison with those of the Designer X for TopShop ilk. The blue and black Kate Moss (Hearts) Top Shop Sequin Strip Dress is cute, sure. It’s also $210. This is why the Barney’s Scarehouse Sale had approximately two full racks of Kate Moss (Hearts) Top Shop merch last Fall. I recall seeing the lavender Unique Suede Drape Dress and wondering how much it cost. It’s a good thing I found out at home, where I could throw up in my toilet instead of all over the floor of the Boutique section in the flagship store. SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS. Time for an Alka-Seltzer break.
For me, the microscopic silver lining to the dark trendcloud that is TopShop was this Oversize Sweat Dress by Preen; being equally obsessed with shirtdresses and the color gray, I’d probs live in it. I was dawdling near the line for the fitting room with the $125 dress in hand when I realized what had happened to me over the course of my twenty-minute browse:
I’d seen so much overpriced shit that a $125 pricetag was starting to look reasonable. Without even knowing it, I’d sipped the KateMoss-Ade.
Admittedly, my highlighting the worst of the worst of this So Not Top Shop imparts a skewed view. Even in spite of the ridiculousness pictured, TopShop’s got a vast array of unique, of-the-moment, objectively kickass stuff… none of which I can realistically afford. I don’t have enough self-control to do the Look-Don’t-Touch thang – I’m not sure anyone does.
Hence the reason that, as soon as I started feeling like I used to feel after flipping through a Fashion mag – un-fabulous in the face of fabulous things, like I needed to buy something in order to substantiate that fabulousness – I got the hell outta dodge. I highly recommend you do the same.
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OK, so glad to hear this. I’ve been AMAZED at some of the Topshop pricing I’ve seen floating around and wondered if anyone else was appalled.
Ah cheap JAP 99% of the time you speak the truth! But this 1% of the time you are wrong. As a californian who frequents England a lot just for Topshop this is where I feel you missed the mark….
Topshop has much better quality than Forever 21 and some of my silk blouses rival that of BR for 1/2 the price so it’s a great place for basics. Coats, bags (most non leather are under $50 and that beats urban and sometimes target prices), jeans, etc are all great deals. The prices are more expensive than H&M but you get quality, better fit, and less of a euro trash look. Anyway I think you should frequent Topshop after the buzz has died and check the sales bc they are nothing short of AMAZING!
Yeah, I remember being all excited about TopShop when I was in London and walking away with just a dress from the sale rack. It’s a fantastic dress and I’ve worn it on so many ways, but the other stuff seemed overpriced given the exchange rate and the quality.
Agreed. Overrated. Maybe I’ll check out the sale bin in the future.
soooo totally agree! I went in there today for the first time and CANNOT for the life of me understand these prices! I did see one cute trench for $150 which, imho, isn’t bad for outerwear that i need as a professional, but i was REPULSED by the $510 preen leather leggings and another SIMILAR trench for $460. so disgusting! WTF???