Buy-Sell-Trades Can Maximize Mistakes!

Mmkay, so six or so months ago, my mother bought me a pair of ludicrously priced Michael Kors Stiletto-Esque Combat Boots; they were superficially fab, but proved unwearable in reality. When you live in New York, the first criteria for choosing shoes is Can I Walk In Them? The answer to these was a resounding No: Wearing these was akin to walking in fucking stilts, and I’ve got subpar balance to begin with. While the boots were a gift, they were of my choosing, and heretofore my burden to bear with considerable regret. I finally got so sick of seeing them go unworn that I brought them to Buffalo Exchange to see what kind of store credit they’d net.

The branch’s Williamsburg location (which, btdubs, has improved radically over the past few months) priced my $300 boots at $60. With an erroneously purchased Diane von Furstenberg dress added to the mix (an Oops made by Mom at the Barney’s Warehouse Sale, one that I attempted to sell on eBay to no avail), the store value of my goods was around $90. This meant $45 in store credit with which to shop. In order to transform my mother’s and my impulse buys into something other than a total waste of money, I needed to score some fab brand-name goodies in exchange. And score I did.

I’d recently been hunting for high-waisted pants and gray denim separately, as I’d never before seen a pair of high-waisted gray jeans. These Eduns obvs felt like a two-for-one-deal, but that wasn’t even the best part – they were HALF OFF too! My wardrobe was also seriously lacking shorts; the linen/nylon blend material and classic cut of the brown pair pictured makes them both casual enough for day and dressy enough for night. Oh, and they’re Theory. NBD.

Now, for some cost comparison. Theory Shorts usually retail for approximately $150; I got these for $17.

Edun Jeans at full retail price are even more offensive; they start at a whopping $195. Buffalo Exchange initially priced these at a totally bearable $26.50 but – as previously mentioned – they were half off. This meant a $195 pair of designer jeans for $13.25 por MOI. That’s not a score: That’s an almost-criminal steal. Booyah.

I’d seen this Atticus Tee on a previous visit, but negged it immediately: If I wanted to pay $21.50 for an effing T-SHIRT, I’d shop at American Apparel. (Fine, I still do, but not for t-shirts). I have STANDARDS, goddammit, and I wasn’t about to let the tee’s eighties vibe sway me. At least that was the case until I saw ’50% Off’ stamped on its tag. A radical tee for $10.75? That I can do.

The $7 camisole was purchased for both its length and color – I wear long camis like it’s my job, and I read somewhere that green shirts would, like, totally make my eyes pop! Or something.

Let’s play Hypothesize and pretend I wasn’t trying to exchange my impulse buys for things I’d actually wear/rectify my guilt. Let’s pretend I’d paid full retail price for my brand-name goodies instead:
$150 Theory Shorts +$30 Atticus Tee + $12 Camisole + $195 Edun Jeans = $387.00.

Almost the equivalent of the money wasted on impulse buys. Schwing. Now, let’s play Why You Shop Secondhand and see what I actually spent on the VERY SAME BRANDS:

$17 Theory Shorts + $10.75 Atticus Tee + $7 Camisole + $13.75 Edun Jeans = $48.50.

Not bad, but I’m trying to break even here, people. Good thing the store value of the Michael Kors boots and DVF dress I sold netted me a FORTY-FIVE DOLLAR STORE CREDIT.

$48.50 – $45 Store Credit = $3.50.

Conclusive Results: In exchange for $400 worth of unworn impulse buys, I got $45 Store Credit. With Buffalo Exchange’s redonkulous selection of brand-name shiznat, a $45 Store Credit netted me a pair of designer jeans, a pair of designer shorts, a radical eighties tee and a practical camisole i.e. four pieces worth a total of $387. Because the gently-worn stuff only cost a total of $48.50, I only spent a total of $3.50.

All told, I was out less than twenty bucks, with a conscience clear of monetary guilt. Which is to say, I broke even. Obvs.