Fraggle Rock for H&M

Cher: Been shopping with Dr. Suess?
Dionne: Well at least I wouldn’t skin a collie to make my back pack.
Cher: It’s faux!

Cher’s concern for animals trumped her desire for authentic fluff – she did “fully intend to brake for animals” post-passing her driving test, after all. So, on this day of atonement, let’s pretend to be virtuous by choosing faux. It’s not like our meager budgets allot for the real thing anyway.

I’d seen an abundance of faux fur at H&Ms about the city, and headed to the Prince St. and Broadway location for a closer look. The first thing I culled from the racks was a black, yarn-like jacket reminiscent of Fraggle Rock. I assume they were going for something of the Mongolian ilk, a la Antik Batik’s $635 vest, but it wasn’t happening: The fact that the thing looked like a wet, un-groomed poodle suggested it’d be as heinous on me as it was on the hanger. The $129 pricetag didn’t help either. Then, I tried it on, and was overcome with joy.
As soon as I had it on, I realized the Fraggle Rock jacket wasn’t trying to fake anything – it was reveling in its ridiculousness. It made me feel like a pimp and a puppy and I liked it. The jacket seemed to be saying, “Obviously I’m fake, but aren’t I FUN?!” Heck yeah you are. Onto more practical thangs: The cut was uber-flattering, and the yarn-esque material provided serious warmth. One minute in the jacket had me sweating my arse off.

The New York Indian Summer and the lack of air conditioning on H&M’s basement level made donning and snapping pics of the rest of my faux finds a trying process. But – seeing as H&M only posts a selection of their merch online (irritating), and seeing as said merch is only available for internet purchase to speakers of Scandinavian languages (really fucking irritating) – I figured I’d sweat through it and hydrate later so you could see the goods. You’re welcome.

Stay tuned for a few more faux fab finds.