Dressing Room Shots: Uniqlo + J

Note: I wrote this on October 1 – the day UNIQLO + J came out – and apparently forgot to hit the Publish button. Can I get a ditz?! Oy. See below.

Today, I pulled the nucking futs move of waiting in line for a look at Uniqlo’s collabs with Jil Sander, UNIQLO + J. Waiting in line for anything turns me into a heinous bitch – I blame the Aquarian impatience – and only a collection as objectively unfuckingbelievable as this one could have snapped me out of it. It is, and it did.

Know the 80 by 20 rule I reference whenever I talk about bitchslapping your wardrobe; the law that says twenty percent of the clothes you own make up eighty percent of your outfits? Nearly every piece of UNIQLO + J could potentially fall into one’s ideal twenty percent – the clothes are that simple, that elegant, and that versatile. Minimalist used to mean a maxed out credit card a la Commes des PooPoo (sorry, Garcons); enter Jil Sander, who finally figured out how to clothe the masses in affordable, understated chic. This shit achieves the “look loaded” component of “shop cheap” more effectively than any collabs I’ve seen to date.



+J’s obvs perfect for now, but there’s something a bit futuristic about it too. Like, if we were the free minds in the Matrix, this is what we’d wear whilst kicking serious agent ass alongside Trinity or something. We wouldn’t look as hot as her because no one’s as hot as Trinity. But we’d look pretty effing stealth, and universally cool.



I didn’t buy anything +J today, not because I didn’t want to, but because I wanted ALL OF IT. (Okayfine, the dresses I could do without, but that’s a point of preference. They just weren’t tight enough for my liking.) I need a few days to process and digest the awesomeness of +J so as to not fully jeopardize the balance of my checking account. But believe you me, I’m going back.



And I’m bringing Mom with me, and asking for an advance on my Chanukah presents.