Sally Hansen’s Brilliant Nail Polish Alternative
It takes me 30 to 45 minutes to execute the at-home manicure process convincingly, drying time excluded. Is this an adequate use of my time?
Not by a long shot. I’m sorry, but a chip-free paint job isn’t all that rewarding if it robs me of my ability to type ludicrous speed (and by ‘type,’ I mean hammer. Delicacy ain’t my thang.) I do my own nails on rare occasions of extreme boredom; I tend to enjoy the challenge more than the results, which are subpar at best.
Press-on nails are obvs quick-fix alternative to the time suck that is the DIY manicure, but the cheerleaders who used to *accidentally* bump me into lockers wore them, so they kinda scare the shit out of me. I can still hear them drumming their fingers on the wooden desks, anticipating the four minutes between classes allotted for terrorizing freshmen girls. Clickety clickety clickety, tap tap tap. Eek!
Press-on nails are out on account of traumatic association. At home manicures are out on account of being a pain in the ass. Is there an alternate strategy for DIY nails, or is a keyboard hammerer like me sentenced to a life unpainted?
Yesterday, whilst browsing the beauty section at Duane Reade, I got my answer.
The solids are good; the glitters are better. And the PRINTS! Outrageous!
The nail polish strips cost $8.99 a pop, and last up to ten days. Duane Reade was sold out of all the prints except the butterflies – sad, but not sad enough to dim my enthusiasm. I’m on a mission for the fishnet and houndstooth strips, and I’m willing to scour every drug store in the city until said mission is complete.