American Apparel Figure Skater Dress For Less

July 28, 2009, 5:21 pm

I first tried on American Apparel’s Nylon Tricot Figure Skater Dress six months ago; an item so popular that both Forever 21 AND Urban Outfitters attempted to copy it. Of course, the “inspired by” versions stank like poo, but I wasn’t about to pony up $48 for a dress that provided coverage on par with lingerie. At that price, it just wasn’t practical. It suddenly became so when I found it Buffalo Exchange (in PHILLY, for all you haters): Twenty buckaroos. Yahoooooo!!!

This very dress is currently on display at the AA store around the corner from my apt, and I snicker at the window every time I walk by. And I don’t want to hear any gaff about the color: As far as I’m concerned, anything defined as Figure Skater wear is obvs a bit costume-y. The hot pink’s just a way of owning its inherent ridiculousness.

Speaking of ridiculousness, let’s now discuss the cut. I had my doubts about Dov Charney’s perviness until about an hour into this dress’s inaugural wear. It doesn’t matter how tight you tie the straps around the neck. The material is designed to expose side-boobage – the longer it’s worn, the more it responds to gravitational pull with a continual downward stretch. Men do not seem to have a problem with this, if my boyfriend’s response is any indication.

(What’s so attractive about the side-boob thing anyway? Are guys hoping for a nipple shot or something? Bizarre, these creatures are (Yoda, I am typing like)).

I had a lovely time prancing around this dress in my apartment, but I knew I’d feel a bit nekkid wearing it out in public.

I needed an addition to effectively foil Operation: Side-Boob; a top of sorts that would enable me to wear the dress without feeling like a stumbling, eye-make-up-smeared AA ad.

Enter yesterday’s Sheer Navy Tunic by Velvet ($22 at Greene Street Consignment, in case anyone forgot).

Uh oh, Dov. I think I just de-sluttified one of your greatest inventions.

arden

07.28.2009 at 8:52 pm · add two cents

Thanks for the e-z click to the AA “models” page.

Holy slutoramatastic.

If I were male (I’m not) and over the age of, say, 22, and viewed this at work, I would close it as fast as possible while casting furitive looks over my shoulder to see if anyone caught me looking at kiddie porn during work hours.

Grace

07.28.2009 at 9:21 pm · add two cents

Cheap JAP! Thanks for showing Philly some love. I go in our Buff Exchange all the time–just picked up a pair of J Brands and a few Free People tops last week. I went in yesterday and picked up a Joie top, thought maybe I’d run into you! Greene St. Consignment isn’t bad either, I have Theory jeans from there.

Much love, from one cheap JAP to another.