CheapJAP

Economic Shitstorm

Leather, Recycled and Re-born!

My cobbler did a pretty kickass job resurrecting my destroyed leather goodies. Some Before and After pics, as proof:

Dr. Cobbler didn’t just fix the strap on my broken Botkier.

He reinforced every loose thread on the thing. He also re-heeled my gnarled Aldo motorcycle boots, like whoa. They’re totally good as new!

The salvation of my Botkier and boots cost me $25 and $35, respectively. So basically, I got a $550 handbag and a $120 pair of shoes for the bargain price of $60. It just doesn’t get much better than that.

Economic Shitstorm

Lifeless Leather? Ask Dr. Cobbler.

WARNING: The pictures you’re about to see may cause horror, fury, melancholy and/or disgust. They’re what happens to your leather goods after you’ve loved them a little too much.
When the strap on my Botkier broke, I initially allowed my preoccupation with my Abaco to distract me from the pain of loss. Alas, no handbag worth its monetary and emotional investment is easily gotten over. Said bag was, after all, the original reason behind my waiting tables in college; I sacrificed sleep, time and dignity to pay for the thing in 20s, 10s and 1s, and it served me well for five whole years. The least I can do is give it another shot. So I’m taking this sick puppy to the leather doc today to see if he can bring it back to life.
That leather cobbling is a dying art totally speaks to our constant need to buy new crap. When our old stuff starts to wear and tear, we don’t think about how to prolong its lifespan; we think of it as an excuse to spend on things we want under the guise of need. When the worn-out stuff in question is a fugly dress or an old t-shirt, tossing the old and buying the new ain’t no thang. When it’s a $550 handbag, you best think twice.
While I’m at it, I might as well give my oh-so-broken-in Aldo motorcycle boots another shot before officially writing them off. I got these for $110ish last year (reduced from $150). While they weren’t quite as much as an investment as the Botkier, they’ve become the most comfortable heel I own (via a long, arduous breaking-in process). And when you’re 5′2″, you can’t put a price on a comfortable heel. I’m hoping they’ll look less gnarled post-makeover.

Stay tuned for reports on what my local cobbler dude charges me, and - hopefully - for “after” shots too.

Excessories

Anya Hindmarch Turns Fake to Great

After Botkier’s dire attempt to whore itself out to the masses, I assumed the next high-end handbag designer’s “collection” for Target would suck too. What happens when we assume? Someone like Anya Hindmarch obvs comes along and makes asses out of you and me. Sometimes, it’s refreshing to be wrong… but only sometimes.

The Black Python Clutch (at right) doesn’t just look pricier than $19.99; it actually does justice to its high-end inspiration. It appears that some handbag designers are finally taking the bull by the horns and copying themselves with accuracy, instead of letting Forever 21 do it for them.

The Large Gold Shoulder Bag (at right) is - like many Hindmarch for Target items online - out of stock. I’m including it anyway because it further illustrates a quality all too rare among high-end designers: Hindmarch actually gives a shit about her cheapie collection. Pleather or no, her Target stuff boasts unique details characteristic of her pricier products; you know it’s an Anya Hindmarch before you know it’s her Target line. An uber impressive effort, fo sheez.

Love With Hate Icing

Me Say eBay

Wanna know why I’m really against online shopping? Because I don’t have a doorman. If I’m not home, I do not receive my package. Instead, I receive yellow slips that inform me of UPS’s 1st, 2nd and 3rd attempts to drop off said package.

When a reader mentioned she scored a Theory blazer for ten bucks on eBay, I started perusing the site to find things that would make waiting for the UPS guy worth my while. Here’s what I’m “watching” so far:

GRINTA Vintage Leather Doctor’s Bag, bidding starts at $24.99; Vintage 70s Leather Leaf Clutch, Buy-It-Now Only, $24.95.

Miu Miu Patent Pumps, bidding starts at $21.50; Cole Haan Boots, bidding starts at $49.99.

I Love A Good Story

Eat Cereal, Make Handbag

Now, I’m more shop-a-holic than health nut. Obvs. Alas, bargain hunting often requires as much fuel as a hard core workout, particularly when you’re as ruthless as I am.

If Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, [me] & goji is the breakfast of everyone - exercise enthusiasts and fab fashionistas alike.

This make-your-own-cereal company - the brainchild of some studly former NU soccer dudes - is basically fun in a box (or in this case, a cylindrical, artfully designed capsule). And the fun doesn’t stop after you’ve created, named (mine was “Wake the Eff Up”), and consumed your custom artisanal grains, nuts and berries. Then, you get to take your empty capsule, indulge your closet penchant for arts and crafts, turn it into a handbag, and win free cereal.

Pretty effing sweet right?! All it took was some leftover gift wrap, a roll of electrical tape and a pair of scissors. (Full disclosure: I used a very large, scary kitchen knife to poke holes in the capsule. Expert crafters only).

It’s amazing what you can do after a balanced breakfast.

Sartorial Etiquette

MAILBAG: Corporate Conundrum

Subject: Corporate Conundrum
Hey Cheap Jap,
I’m consummate shoe girl who’s a bit clueless when it comes to fashionable arm candy, so I’m coming to you for some of your canny handbag advice. I’m starting a corporate job next month with a business casual dress code and a sizable office-issued laptop to be shlepped back and forth to work each day. I’d like to spend under 200 bucks on a bag that’s meant for laptops (can’t have my computer getting rained on in an open-topped tote, smashed by some careless person at Starbucks through a supersoft leather side, etc.) and will fit comfortably over my shoulder. I prefer a deep tan or a dark leather, canvas, or nylon (no black, please). The Marc by Marc Jacobs Slim Sloane is to DIE for, but its $288 price tag is a little out of reach. Help?

Love your blog, and thanks for the help,
Corporate Chica

Subject: Re: Corporate Conundrum
Hey Corporate Chica,
Dollface, if your dream laptop bag is the MJ Slim Sloane, you are sooooo not clueless re: fashionable arm candy. Many thanks for the uber-detailed descriptors of what you’re looking for; they made my search just breezy (I’m not into black bags either - snooze!). While some of these are a teeeeensy bit over your $200 limit, do keep in mind that you’ll be schlepping your laptop around five days a week. You might as well carry it in a bag you love, no?

Some options of the functional, go-with-everything ilk. The Moonsus Urban comes in Mocha too, no worries. (From left) Cross Gramercy Laptop Tote, $150; Moonsus Urban Laptop Tote, $240 (reduced from $330).

Both of these briefcase-esque bags are from laptop tote specialists Clark & Mayfield - and not outrageously priced either - yaay! Mapleton Tote, $169; Quimby Laptop Brief, $189. (The detachable shoulder strap isn’t pictured for the Quimby, but I’m fairly sure one’s included). Continue reading →

I Love A Good Story

Love At First Grope: Epilogue

After I made the fiscally responsible decision of not buying the Abaco bag, I vowed to avoid Petticoat Lane in the weeks following. I needed time to mourn the loss of my big, buttery, leather obsession. I didn’t have the strength to see it again and not buy it, nor could I bear the thought of it on someone else’s arm. I clung to the hope that it was pining for me too, that it would wait for me until its handlers further reduced its price. Wishful thinking, obvs. Or so I thought. Until yesterday, when I saw the “Select Bags, 50% Off!” sign in the window of Petticoat Lane.

I tore through the door and beelined for the half-off rack. Propped against its inferiors, stuffed with tissue paper, as new and beautiful as I’d remembered it, there it was. My Abaco. I picked it up carefully, and physically embraced it. I’m not even kidding. I actually hugged the thing.

At the register, I inquired after the damage before slapping down my card. The bag was originally priced at $659 (I’d erroneously assumed that its online price was the same as its in-store price, but via the Interweb it was $739. Online shopping a bargain? My ass.). At 50% off, I was looking at $329.50 plus tax. I went for it without hesitation, and as the salesgal wrapped my splurgy poo she said, with unconcealed envy, “I paid $800 for my Abaco. I can’t believe the deal you’re getting.” I could have mock-related, but I’ve always been a shitty liar. $800 is an effing insane price to pay for any one thing. But $350, for something you’ll wear and adore fo eva, is just right. Especially when that something makes you look so. effing. loaded.

Oy Vey!

I saw something shocking whilst flipping through the latest Lucky. Pictured in the “Lucky Girl” feature - you know, that page where they show a selection of a 22-year-old PR associate’s wardrobe (you ain’t buying $350 tops on that salary, girlfriend, I don’t care what Lucky says) - was a $190 handbag. As I deem handbags a worthy splurge, my problem wasn’t with the price. It was with the brand. This tote wasn’t Hype, Tano, Fracesco Biasia, or any other legit bag brands that retail for around $200. It was from The GAP.

What the FUCK is GAP doing selling $200 handbags?! If I’m going to blow a few hundred on a bag, you best believe it won’t be as mass-produced and totally vanilla as the shit they sell at GAP. Continue reading →

Sartorial Etiquette

MAILBAG: Ooooh College!

[Note: MAILBAG is copied and pasted directly from cheapjap@gmail.com’s inbox and is therefore exempt from any and all grammatical, capitalization and/or spelling errors.]

Subject: hey
Dear CheapJAP:
First off, I adore your sight. It’s amazing. And you update regularly, which is beyond fabulous.
My conundrum: I want a bag for school. My finances are probably much less jap-y than yours, but we cant all be that awesome. I’m going to be a college freshman, and at the university I’m attending, I don’t think many people carry purses? (IIs this even normal?) I have a purple swiss army messenger bag that i’ve been using for my senior year of high school, which is functional, if not as stylish as i’d like.

Could you point me in the direction of a well-made, yet reasonably priced bag that would be functional enough to carry my macbook, a text book, and perhaps a notebook, yet stylish enough to be a purse? I like leather, but it doesn’t have to be leather. I’m also more partial to brown than black, but I love color, especially bright orange. I’m guessing bright orange and brown and leather all at once would look silly, but I’m just trying to give you an idea.

Thank you, and keep up the fabulousness!
-Kelley

Subject: Re: hey
kelley -
apologies for the uber-delayed response; tre rude of moi. re: your bag conundrum, know this: any bag large enough to cart around a laptop, text books and notebooks isn’t a bag that doubles as a night-time bag. unless you’re bringing a 30 pack of natty ice to the frat house…then, by all means. now, as i’m a handbag whore, our perceptions of “reasonably priced” aren’t likely to coincide. lucky for you, i did some outside-of-the-box thinking - i hope you’ll find these suggestions useful.
Continue reading →

I Love A Good Story

Love At First Grope: The Verdict

I’m sure you’ve all been waiting with bated breath to hear the verdict on the Abaco bag. A brief schpiel on my biggest shopping conundrum to date: After I posted about the bag, I hit Petticoat Lane again - I needed the Abaco’s presence to determine whether it really was love, or just puppy lust. Or so I thought. This was on a Monday; the one day of the week on which Petticoat Lane is closed. Guess what’s never closed? The Internets, yo. I came home that afternoon to comments from you beotches; only after reading them did I realize the answer to my handbag problemo.

The best advice came from one Stazh, who wrote:

“…If after you buy this bag you can still pay your bills, have enough for food, going out, and other necessities before your next paycheck, then by all means treat yourself. But keep in mind that you may not be able to shop for anything sartorial for a while. If there is no way in hell that you can buy the bag AND have enough $$ to live, then forget it…”

Had I bought the Abaco, I could have continued to “live” in the general sense of the term. Continue reading →

I Love A Good Story

Love At First Grope

Yesterday, I fell in love. With a handbag. I’ll explain.

A week or so ago, I was strolling down my block when I noticed a new addition to the neighborhood. Like Athena from Zeus’s head, a bag shop had sprung unexpectedly from a deserted storefront. And not just any bag shop - a Petticoat Lane. I had it pegged as a JAP mecca even before I discovered the locations of their other branches (Chappaqua, Scarsdale). I knew I probably couldn’t afford anything in there, but figured there wasn’t any harm in browsing. And now, I am in trouble. Trouble of the impassioned, impulsive and fiscally irresponsible kind.

As you well know, I’ve been yearning and burning for a new leather bag to complete my soul (i.e. my closet) for quite some time now. While Petticoat Lane offers the eternally JAPtastic Furlas, Botkiers, Francesco Biasias and Bulgas we all know and love, they also have a less familiar brand called Abaco. After holding and feeling Abaco’s bags, I can honestly say it was love at first grope.

Abaco’s line is comprised of (in my humble opinion (HA!)) the highest quality handbags I’ve ever seen. Now, by “quality,” I do not mean well-made, classic, practical, aesthetically-pleasing and/or long-lasting - all that shit’s a given. When I say “quality,” I mean Looks Expensive As Hell. If you see this bag on the street, you don’t wonder if the girl on its strap got it at a sample sale, scored it on Canal, bought it at a boutique, whatever. You see it and think, “OMFG. I looooove that bag. And I so can’t afford it. Eff her.” And you’re right: You so can’t afford it. Neither can I. Hence the potentially heartbreaking and definitely gut-wrenching plight I now find myself in.

If you’ve ever experienced the L-word, you’re well aware that its unpredictable nature is part of what makes it the most awesome and fucked up emotion in existence. I thought a roomy, neutral-colored, go-with-everything tote was what I’d been looking for. Then this smaller, square-ish, navy blue shoulder bag knocked me on my ass, and I realized I don’t know myself nearly as well as I pretend to.

The Abaco Newport Bag is currently on sale for $499; a 30% reduction from its retail price of $739. I’m the first to admit that - even at more than $200 off - it’s not a deal in the slightest. But I can’t stop thinking about it, and need to make a decision before some yuppie Park Slope mom parks her stroller in the store and snaps it up with her hubbie’s Amex. Commenters (you’re all effing awesome, BTdubs): You have two hours before I leave for work to advise me on my situation. Tragedy will befall either my heart or my bank account depending on the outcome. Help a fellow Cheap JAP out, huh?

Excessories

Botkier Sample Sale More Anticlimactic Than Orgasmic

As far as sample sales go, Botkier’s was remarkably well-executed; there was minimal insanity and an abundance of bags at 50-70% off. Had I been on the hunt for a clutch or a small going-out bag, I would have been positively gleeful, as this category of leather goods boasted fab options ranging from $100-$175.

But I don’t need a clutch or a going-out bag - that’s what Mommy’s closet is for. I need a big tote I can wear all day, every day. And the tote situation was boring at best, and fugly at worst.

It wasn’t the sizes or the prices that bugged me. Most of the totes offered were sizable enough to accommodate wallets, cameras, iPhones, make-up, extra pairs of shoes, y’know, all of life’s essentials ;). Most were also around $275, max - a reasonable price to pay for a kickass designer handbag for daily use. But the materials and colors of said totes had me totally icked out. Continue reading →

Oy Vey!

Botkier for Target? Oh HELLS No.

Anyone eagerly anticipating the July 20 release of the Botkier for Target handbag line needs to take a good, hard look at these photos. Witness Exhibit A:

It’s not just painfully obvious that the sparkling, buttery, buckled beauty at left is the real thing; it’s fucking insulting that the gold, stiff, pleather disaster at right is being pawned off as a desirable alternative to its overpriced inspiration. Witness Exhibit B:

If the JPEG placement switcheroo was enough to trick you, you’re clearly one of the sheep who’ll actually buy this crapola and I pity you. Even if the Target-ized version at left is real leather, it’s of the immobile, low-cost ilk. It’s not just the intricate stitching that outs the bag on the right as the real thing; it’s the scrunching of soft, mobile leather around the buckle strap. Versions of its pathetic copy lurk on the corners of Broadway and every other street in Soho and - if you don’t mind looking not-even-close-to-loaded - can be had for twenty bucks.

Last night marked the end of an era for me and my own (real) Botkier bag. Continue reading →

Splurgy Poo

The Leather Lining of the Waitressing Cloud

Aside from social intelligence and charm, both of which I obvs have in abundance, waitressing doesn’t require a whole lot of brainpower. But after working five nights out of the past six, I can say with complete confidence that it’s among the most grueling things I’ve ever done. My entire body aches, I’ve got bags under my eyes, and - despite the massive bottles of Fiji consumed throughout these evenings on my feet - I’m dehydrated to the point of icky, chapped lips. And I’ve still got four more consecutive shifts to go. This Memorial Day Weekend, the only soiree I’m throwing is a pity party. Sniffle.

Thankfully, my mounting, grouchy exhaustion has one big perk. My new serving gig nets me a ton of cash which - in my current state - I have neither the time nor the energy to spend; at the conclusion of working nine nights out of ten, I’ll have netted some serious moolah. You know what that means. It’s handbag time. Continue reading →

Excessories

A Study in Going Out Bags

I’ve got no problem hauling around my life during the day - my tote tends to have everything from Sugar-Free Redbulls and extra packs of Camel Lights to inspirational books my Dad thinks I should read and/or Us Weeklies. But when I’m out at night, I like to appear less high-maintenance than I am. This is why my Going Out Bags are not only small - they’re also hands-free.
Where big, leather day bags are a worthy splurge, I’d never spend anything serious on a Going Out Bag. Why? Gee, let me think - no one notices its fabulousness in dim lighting, beer gets spilled on it, it gets lost in a cab, etc. This is why I shop at thrift stores. Also why I raid my mother’s closet. The red pleather, eighties, wannabe-rockstar purse was $11.95 at Beacon’s; the gold-studded Yves Saint Laurent were, well, $0 - gotta love Mom. Both bags can be worn across the shoulder, which leaves my hands free to hold drinks and gesture wildly in conversation.
Now, I’m well aware that clutches are, like, soooo hot right now. If that’s your bag, don’t be a Bag Snob and dupe yourself into thinking the Botkier Lita Clutch is a bargain at $350, crazy face. Urban Outfitters has some reasonably priced options, amazingly enough: Check out the Large Croco Clutch, the Veranda Caning Clutch or the Deux Lux Patent Clutch, all under $50. Now that’s something to hold onto