CheapJAP

I Love A Good Story

This Nose Knows

When I was sixteen, I did something so bold, so in-your-face, so completely out of character that I hardly recognized myself after the fact. I got my nose pierced. That was eight years ago, mere moments before nose piercings were all the rage for teens and twenties alike. I’ve never been overly trendy but yowzah! was I on top of that one. It was three whole months before I went back to boarding school and had to take it out. Something about a dress code or something. Pfft.

Like any gal, I’ve had my fair share of heartbreak. But my brief tryst with a nose piercing was the one affair I never really got over. For eight long years, I waited for the right time to rekindle this old flame. I finally went for it this past weekend, when I woke up feeling particularly ballsy. A few hours and a lot of hand-holding on behalf of my BFF Lucy later, and the deed was done. It hurt like hell but hey, that’s love baby.

I’m pretty sure that nose piercings are so Out, they’re not even on anyone’s radar anymore. So I’d like to take this opportunity to say I don’t give a rat’s ass. I happen to think my nose was made to be pierced: You gotta rock what you got.

The whole deal - piercing, pale blue crystal stud, Studex After-Piercing Lotion - cost a total of $46 at Andromeda Tattoo on Saint Marks. It also reminded me of the awesomeness of the big, bad city in which I live. There aren’t many places where you can wake up feeling bold and - two hours later - have a hole in your face to show for it. I really do heart New York.

Coolier Than Thou

A brief addendum re: my Macy’s shopping experience. I wore this Lux jumper ($11.95 at Beacon’s - take that, Urban!) over an American Apparel tee for the occasion. Paired with a belt stolen from my little bro’s closet and my new Crocs, I thought the outfit was kinda cool. This notion was reinforced by the fact that I’ve received multiple compliments on the jumper in question when I’ve worn it in good ol’ trendy Brooklyn.

Alas, My Jersey shopping peers weren’t quite as forgiving - the looks I got were priceless, and not in a good way. I felt like a circus freak and/or Ty in “Clueless.” I even thought I heard someone say, “She could be a farmer in those clothes.” But that could have been the paranoia talking.

Just had to share.

Heel Schpiel

Function, Not Fashion - Is it a Croc?

It’s rare that I choose function over fashion, and I’m not so practical that I’d ever resort to wearing traditional Crocs. But I am a style realist (sometimes). I can’t afford cabs and I don’t work out, so if I’m headed somewhere within 20 blocks of my current location, I’m doing it on foot and calling it exercise. And this need for fashionable, functional footwear presents a bigger problem than my penchant for alliteration. Especially when you’re 5′2″ (and a half, but who’s counting). Yes, my Blowfish flats have served me well, but sometimes I want a little height without a lot of pain, goddammit. I found the answer to my daytime-footwear-dilemma in the Croc Cyprus Heel.
Continue reading →

Nifty Thrifty

A Vintage Jewel in a Stroller Wasteland

I’m not usually a hat person, probs because the only headwear that fits my little noggin is intended for small children. I’m also not usually a vintage clothing person; I don’t give a shit if that musty suit jacket is Armani, I’m not paying $200 for anything with shoulder pads.

However, on the day I wandered into L. Verdi - a tiny vintage shop in Park Slope - I found I was both.

The heavily powdered and rouged proprietor initially greeted me with skepticism, and rightfully so. I’m fairly judgmental of patrons of Michael’s, Screaming Mimi’s, Zachary’s Smile, and the like - I deem them sartorial snoots willing to pay top dollar just so they can say, with feigned nonchalance, “This? Oh, it’s vintage.”

As I gingerly stepped around the racks bursting with pencil skirts, blazers and boots, I noticed that L. Verdi’s prices weren’t entirely ridiculous (if I knew anything about vintage clothing, I’d probably say they were reasonable). The clothing racks required more time for adequate assessment, so I thanked the rouged lady, complimented her store and vowed to come back. That’s when I saw the hats.

For someone who neither owns nor wears a lot of hats, I have a serious appreciation for millinery. The rouged lady enthusiastically pulled some options for me, and I had a 90s flashback of Mom and I trying on hats just for kicks at Henri Bendel. When I put on the hat pictured, we both cooed triumphantly. I wasn’t psyched that it was $55 until I saw the Stetson label stitched on the inside [high quality Stetson straw hats retail for around $200 - the material on this is so fab, it doesn’t even feel like straw!].
Continue reading →

Navigatrix

Bottoms Up at Forever 21

Shopping cheap can be really freeing sometimes - at least that’s what I tell myself when I forgo Bikram yoga for field research, which is often.

Had I seen these suspender-jeans in a pricey boutique, I would have looked at them longingly, convinced myself of their impracticality and left empty-handed. But in the blinding florescence of Forever 21, I saw the notion of suspender-jeans in a new light (and one that only cost $29.80 ;)). They were so unlike anything I owned, borderline ridiculous even. I was obvs buying them immediately.

(Note: Suspender-jeans should fit loosely around the waist and butt area, otherwise, there’d be no need for the suspenders to hold up the jeans (duh). Don’t go a size down or they’ll really look silly.)

Life’s all about balance, so I paired the loose, wide-leg suspender-jeans with an old, fitted Theory top (fine, and a push up bra…no one’s are that perky). Heels are also a must for this look, particularly for shorties like me.

I don’t know if suspender-jeans incur wrath or merit praise from the fashion gods. I do know I don’t give a shit. Continue reading →

Label Whore

Re-Assess, Re-Vamp, Re-Wear!

I don’t just recycle paper goods (my building doesn’t recycle plastic or glass bottles, how effed up is that?…I mean, not that I have a lot of empty wine bottles laying around…wait what) - I use the three Rs to recycle my clothing too. Sometimes I sell stuff to Beacon’s for store credit. Sometimes I perform hemline surgery on tired pieces. But never before have I taken a pair of scissors to a pricey, JAPtastic item. Until the other day.

Last summer, Mommy bought me this Nanette Lepore dress. While Mommy’s Jewish in the religious sense of the term, she’s a beauteous blonde WASP where personal style’s concerned. This means she’s frequently - and often correctly - concerned that my outfits lack a certain level of, ahem, class. So she insists on my needing wardrobe staples like $300 Cocktail Dresses.

I wore this dress once last summer, and haven’t thought about it since. OMG, it’s Nanette, what’s wrong with me?! Many things, mi guapas; let’s talk about what’s wrong with the dress first. Continue reading →

Cheap JAP 101

Leotards and Boobs: How to Deal

In general, high-waisted bottoms should always be paired with a tucked-in top. It’s not a total faux pas to wear them with an untucked shirt, but then you can’t see the high waist, so really, what’s the point of rocking the style at all?

The sartorial snag occurs when you tuck your shirt into your awesome F21 shorts and notice that the shirt has bunched beneath the surface, resulting in wrinkles nearly as offensive as panty lines. Possibly my pants are just too tight…whatevs, you only live once.

I recently expressed my irritation over this serious matter to an American Apparel salesgirl. She, of course, suggested the very same leotard she was wearing at the time - an easy solution for her cute little A-cups. But for those of us with serious boobage, not so much. Or so I thought…until I re-discovered an item I haven’t worn since my JV soccer days: The sports bra.

The sports bra is THE solution to this two-part fashion conundrum; it enables the well-endowed to don leotards without flopping all over the place or showcasing their lingerie, which in turn completes the leotard + high-waisted bottoms = zero shirt wrinkles equation.

Is the overall look a little bit Flashdance? Was Jennifer Beals the most adorably sexy thang ever to don legwarmers? Yes and yes. I love the 80s, and you should too.

Nifty Thrifty

Seasonal, Schmeasonal

For me, shopping’s all about instant gratification; nothing kills a consumer’s buzz like the buy-it-now, wear-it-later factor. When I first saw these black-and-purple-suede, over-the-knee boots at Monkey Whistles and Motorbikes (my latest Brooklyn thrift obsession), I immediately tried them on. The fit and the price were right, but I couldn’t possibly get away with suede boots in June, and couldn’t bear the agony of buying them now and waiting until Fall to wear them. So I petted them affectionately, said goodbye, and vowed to find a pair like them in a few months. Then I realized that I’m lucky enough to live in a city where originality continually trumps practicality, a place where you can wear whatever you want, whenever you want with one stipulation: Just make it look cool. And these boots were pretty effing cool.

It’s tough to find quality suede, over-the-knee boots for less than $100. Alas, mine were $58 (don’t hate). I wore them out with an American Apparel Navy Minidress and a silver headband - very mod indeed. If anyone has doubts about the In factor of these boots (believe me, I did), see their designer counterpart i.e. the Prada Suede Color Block Boot (not in stores yet, but can be easily pre-ordered for the equivalent of three rent checks!). I win.

Navigatrix

Shorts for All Hours

Mmkay, so now that I’ve indulged my impulse to make fashion meaningful (just scroll down), let’s discuss both the white shorts pictured and the High Waisted Luxe Shorts to which I previously referred (both Forever 21, $24.80 and $19.80, respectively). The white jean shorts are a bit too bootylicious for heels or wedges, but with flats and a tucked in button-down, they’re uber cute daytime garb. The color and material of the luxe shorts makes them evening-appropriate despite their slightly scandalous length - they’re hot by themselves, smokin’ with wedges but slutty when paired with a tight top. Tread carefully.

I purchased both pairs of shorts on a Saturday, which is one of the more idiotic things I’ve done. Why, you ask? Because - on Saturdays - every single European and Midwestern tourist makes a pilgrimage from Times Square to Forever 21. Continue reading →

I Love A Good Story

Fellow Females and Forever 21

It’s no secret that women dress for other women. This is partially because if we dressed for men our closets would boast an excess of low-cut tops and tight jeans (snooze), and partially because we’re bitches who like to compete (my outfit’s cooler than yours but your shoes are cooler than mine so let’s be friends).

When I tried on these navy Forever 21 High Waisted Luxe Shorts last weekend, I was seriously concerned that they were more slutty than sassy. I tried subduing them with a grey American Apparel V-Neck but still had reservations upon leaving my apartment…probs because I was headed to a house party where there’d be girls I didn’t know who’d possibly write me off as a big, big ho in response to said shorts.

As I got off the 2/3 and headed to the West Village, a random, adorably dressed girl yanked off her headphones and grabbed me by the shoulders. “Where did you get those shorts?! They’re fabulous!” Continue reading →

Coolier Than Thou

It’s a Legging, It’s a Jean, It’s…Denim Leggings!

For the record: I’m well aware that these pants are, at first glance, utterly ridiculous. When I saw them in American Apparel I initially balked at the price. Forty-two dollar leggings. Really. REALLY? What could possibly be so special about American Apparel leggings that made them nearly fifty bucks? They had the appearance of denim, but they weren’t technically jeans. They had a trendy high waist, but were too tight for a tucked-in shirt. Who in their right mind would wear such a thing?

Me, as it turns out. Obvs.

Under normal circumstances, the mere idea of tucking anything into leggings is as silly as it is slutty. But these aren’t your average leggings; the polyester/nylon/elasthan combo makes legs look thinner than they actually are, yet the material is still thick enough to hide everything from thong lines to cellulite. This is not to imply that denim leggings are easy to pull off. If you’re feeling even remotely self-conscious and/or bloated (I find that the two often go hand in hand, no?) parade around your apartment in them before taking them out on the town.

The first outfit pictured is a tad ho-fo-sho for my taste, but it proves that a thin shirt can be tucked into the DLs without incident (BTdubs, the shirt’s a James Perse, snagged for $11.95 at Beacon’s; the shoes are Manolos, courtesy of The United Bank of Mommy).

The second outfit uses a loose top (also American Apparel) to balance the tight pants and, as a result, is a bit more classy (though “class” isn’t the first thing that comes to mind where denim leggings are concerned). It also exemplifies why I bought the pants in the first place. Because - as bizarre as they are - they make me feel like a fucking rock star.

So much so that I can’t help but make ugly-rock-star-faces every time I put them on.

Navigatrix

Runway Funway (Safari Garb)

Sooo, Safari Garb is - for the moment - utterly In. When I play with trends, I ask myself the following questions, in this order: What’s in my closet? and What trend should I try? Asking these questions in this order forces you to integrate an old item into a new outfit, with the added bonus of halving the cost of trend experimentation. As I recently switched waitressing gigs, what’s in my closet is an excess of white, button-down shirts. Is there a trend that can transform my WBDs from ho-hum to oh, yum? Hark! It’s Safari Garb!
Forever 21’s South Beach Short($17.80, btw) isn’t just fab Safari Garb; it’s a new item that revitalizes my old WBDs (H&M, obvs). Were the wedges as free as my Mom’s belt, or as cheap as the rest of the ensemble? Hells no. But nobody’s perfekt.

Heel Schpiel

Running from Debt…in Really Cute Shoes

I’m pretty sure my father’s going to have a conniption after he reads this post, so Dad, apologies in advance - one day, I’ll actually be loaded, and I’ll buy you an airplane.
When I opened my Chase checking account, I was told I had good credit. Really, really good credit. $15,000 to be exact. Free to do what I want, indeed. Would I like a credit card? I refused, with all the power of my being. It came in the mail anyway, begging me to activate it. I snipped the sucker in half with scissors. Being broke sucks, but being broke and in credit card debt is a one-way ticket to loserville, no matter how well-dressed you are.
Somewhere in between me switching serving gigs and overdrawing my account, my credit got activated to cover my ass. This scared the shit out of me. I didn’t open my bank statements, didn’t visit Chase’s website, and didn’t do much shopping (sniffle). I had no idea what I’d put on that card over the past few months, and couldn’t bear to look until I accumulated enough moolah to pay some of it off. After a week at my new job, I put a nice chunk of change in the bank. I logged onto online banking. I pulled up the previously and intentionally hidden credit card balance. And breathed a big effing sigh of relief. In three months, I’d put a mere $402.96 on my credit card. I immediately paid off half of it, vowing to pay the balance off after my next deposit. Then I did something stupid. I went shoe shopping. Continue reading →

Navigatrix

Jumpin’ Jumpers

Old Navy isn’t usually one of my go-tos for stylish, cheap wares; most of the items in their latest “Urban Explorer” line scream elementary school teacher. But these Safari Rompers deserve a serious shout out. I’ve been bored by mini-dresses as of late, and jumpers like this one have revitalized my interest in one piece outfits. That Old Navy only charges $29.50 for the Rompers is the maraschino in the Appletini.

Keep in mind that an ill-fitting jumper looks more like a painter’s smock than like a bold fashion choice - the S was a bit bagalicious on me, so I ordered an XS online (don’t hate). The slightly lame tie-front belt can be easily replaced with a thick, leather one of your choice. Add textured tights, heels or boots and BAM! kickass outfit accomplished.

Excessories

Legwarmers, (and the only way to wear them)

I really, really like legwarmers. I don’t know why. They’re a pain in the ass to put on, they always look a little silly, and when people glance at my lower half on the street, I can never tell if they’re thinking, “Sweet calf-wear” or “What the eff is she wearing?” I think legwarmers are sweet calf-wear, so I’m going to keep rocking them.

There’s only one way to wear legwarmers, and it requires ankle boots and leggings. American Apparel’s legwarmers are a little looser at the bottom, and thus can be pulled down over the ankle boot, giving the leggings the appearance of a flared cuff. It’s a fashion-forward sweatpant…it’s a sweater-boot…it’s a legwarmer!!!