CheapJAP

Love With Hate Icing

New York Mag, Masters of the Obvs

Last week’s New York Magazine decided to tell us what we already know (at least, where fashion’s concerned) via their Live Cheap Without Giving Up Much feature. In a sleek, over-edited column entitled “Embrace Low Fashion,” NY Mag graciously points us toward Forever 21’s $36 frocks in lieu of Zara’s $89 dresses, and recommends $115 Guess Marciano stilettos as replacements for those $610 Etro heels you used to be able to afford (what?!).

Firstly, Zara blows. Nextly, while $115 is enough to snag you a quality pair of party pumps, it’s not an insignificant sum of moolah. Spending over a Benjamin on any one item requires some thought, especially now that we’re all fiscally effed and stuff.

But thanks anyway for the hot tips, dudes. We’re thrilled you could fill that white space by telling us shit we already know.

Economic Shitstorm

The Cheap Jean Scene

It was only when I started getting unsolicited compliments on my Forever 21 jeans that I let go of my inner label whore enough to wear them with pride. Now look, I heart JAPtastic denim as much as the next brand snob, but not enough to pony up $200 every time I want new pants. Here’s how to navigate the world of low-cost jeans without looking like a wannabe or (gasp!) even remotely cheap.

Beware the Back Pocket

Know why brands like True Religion, Citizens of Humanity, Joe’s, Sevens, et. al. get to charge upwards of $200 for their goods? Because of that label you’re so eager to slap on your ass. In an effort to compete with coveted labels, reasonably priced denim companies often attempt to mimic horseshoes, JJ’s and such; buying into this is akin to ponying up for a fake Louis Vuitton on Canal.

With cheap jeans, simplicity is queen; the less design-y crap, the better. DKNY and Levi’s know how to not junk up the trunk. Levi’s 505 Straight-Leg Jean, $34.99; DKNY Stretch Soho Boot Cut Jean, $59.99

Mind the GAP

The GAP’s apparel bores me to tears, but they’ve been making reasonably priced jeans for years - Respect. And where style and fit are concerned, they’ve come a loooong way.

If you’re one of those paranoid jean freaks who believe cost relates to quality, these are for you: Still under $100 and totally well-made.

GAP Super Bell Jeans, $78; GAP Grey Trouser Jeans, $69.50.

Color Me Trendy
Jeans embellished with rhinestones, zippers and/or glitter tend to always look trashy, be they Versace or Bebe. Conversely, colored denim and/or trendy jean styles (uber-high-waisted, super flare, baggy boyfriend, etc.) look fab on the cheap.

It is generally considered unwise to purchase expensive experimental denim, as hot pink jeans probs won’t do it for you next year. Go to funkytown with Forever 21 instead.

Forever 21 High-Waist Straight Leg Jean, $22.80; Forever 21 Ria Skinny Jean, $29.80.

Classics Rock
Some brands are above trends and/or the temptation to jack their prices; they remain timeless, and eternally cool. Calvin Kleins, Levi’s, and Guess - the upside-down triangle era Guess - come to mind. Heart these eighties throwbacks here.

GUESS Beverly Jean, $89.

I Love A Good Story

Dressed Up to Get Lucky - Outfit #3

Before we discuss my third - and possibly best - entry for Lucky’s “My Denim Transformation” Stylist Challenge, let’s talk about this blazer. Last January on my birthday, my uber fab mother and I hit Fisch for the Hip, where she immediately zeroed in on this Marc Jacobs number. Originally priced at $600 or so, it was still a splurge at its re-sale price. While I can’t recall the exact number, it had to have been offensive enough that Mom had to physically force me out of my coat and into the garment. I pretended not to want it; she pretended not to hear me.

“It’s your birthday,” she hissed at the time, “You will thank me later.” Of course, she was right. So thank you Mommy, for forcing this MJ blazer upon me on my 24th birthday. (If I wasn’t a stereotype before that last sentence…)

To my label whore’s dream of a blazer (and to the same F21 jeans, obvs), I added the following:

BCBG teal, ruched tank (snagged for $19 at the Atlantic City Outlets); bizarreslashunique, pearl button-embellished, gray sweater tank (Beacon’s Closet, like ten bucks); clip-on rhinestone/faux onyx earrings (P.S. Flea Market, $5); Guess pumps I’ve had fo eva (fo eva meaning two years plus).

I think we have a winner here, dolls. Your thoughts?

I Love A Good Story

Dressed Up to Get Lucky - Outfit #1

Mmkay, here’s one of my possible entries for Lucky Mag’s My Denim Transformation Contest. I’ve dressed up my fabulously cheap Forever 21 jeans ($24.99) not only to keep my outfit Cheap JAPtastic, but also because these totally budget thangs continually snag me more compliments than any of my brand name pairs. The components of the outfit include the following:

Diane von Furstenberg top, (purchased years ago, in honor of my 21st birthday party; worn once since then i.e. I’m an ass), price upon request; Bebe fur-collared cardigan, Beacon’s Closet, $10.95.

Celine peep-toe platform pumps, (purchased five-plus years ago, suffered broken heel two years ago, salvaged by heroic cobbler one year ago), over $400 - Dad almost cut up the gold card in front of my face; beaded necklace, P.S. 321 Flea Market, $3.

And now, I bring you…

Dressed-up denim entry numero uno!

A heinously expensive blouse and a pair of overpriced pumps could transform any pair of under-$30 jeans. What’s so impressive about these F21’s is that they don’t even look cheap to begin with.

I wonder if I’ll lose points for having my hair in my face/ trying to look really, really cool. I’m thinking probs.

More potential entries en route!

Economic Shitstorm

A Sabbatical from Designer Denim

When the economy sucks and gets suckier, sacrifices have to be made in all areas of life. Maybe we can’t afford ten dollars in Pinkberry each day. Maybe we also need to let go of one of our usual splurgy poos…at least for the time being.

The first one to go? Designer denim. Buh. Bye.

Look brand snoots, I feel you. I used to consider jeans that cost less than $150 an insult to JAPs everywhere. This was before I discovered Forever 21. Unlike GAP, Old Navy and the like, Forever 21 denim is virtually unrecognizable as such. When worn with a white-hot shirt (this one Anne Fontaine, stolen from Mommy’s Closet), they look like they cost a hell of a lot more than $24.99.

If you can’t bring yourself to buy jeans from Forever 21, get off my blog. Now. Just kidding ;). If you must, must have brand name denim in your life, don’t add insult to injury by paying full price.
Hit sample sales, Loehmann’s, Century 21, outlets, designer re-sale shops, whatevs. Anything you buy, be it a crazy leather handbag or an H&M dress, can always be found for less than its retail price; jeans are NO EXCEPTION to this rule.

I’ve had serious success with denim of the designer ilk at Beacon’s Closet.

I’m also a big fan of Beacon’s’ no-name stuff; this fantabulous, high-waisted, wide-legged pair was $16.95.

The front of the jeans is good.

The back of the jeans is GREAT. Must be that gold shooting star patch.

Or maybe it’s just my ass!

Cheap JAP 101

Dress It Down a Notch

Soooo, I recently read Eccentric Glamour. I enjoyed it so much that it pains me to call it a style guide, as that puts it in really icky company (see yesterday’s post). In the spirit of the book - and of wearing fun, fabulous clothes regardless of occasion, season and/or trends - I pulled some seriously under-worn dresses out of my closet.

I don’t have many occasions in my day-to-day life that necessitate dressing up. To this, Simon Doonan would likely say, “Life is the occasion! Wear a tutu to the Whole Foods and twirl for the fishmongers! Be bold!” and in a way, he’s right. I’m just not glamorously eccentric enough for that (yet). If I’m going to wear my party duds in broad daylight and not feel like I’m on a walk of shame, I need them dressed down.

This Forever 21 navy button-down tied over my BCBG Party Frock casual-izes (ooh, new word!) the dress. And the beat-up motorcycle boots do a nice job of saying I-don’t-give-a-shit-about-what-you-think-of-my-outfit.

More dressed down creations to come.

Navigatrix

A Ubiquitous Dress…With a Twist

I hit Forever 21 recently, just for kicks (Does one ever really need a reason to shop? Don’t answer that). As I waited patiently in line to try on this Gingham Tunic/Dress ($19.80), I noticed nine or so girls waiting to try on the same dress. Not shocking at F21, but not the norm either, what with the massive selection to sift through and all. At the register, I saw two more girls purchase the dress. Come to think of it, I’d seen it on a passerby on my way to the store. Only once I had it on did I realize what all the fuss was about. This is one of those fluke garments - think Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants - that fits and flatters just about everyone. That’s all well and good, if you don’t mind wearing the same thing as everyone else. I mind. Obvs.

I bought the Gingham Tunic/Dress anyway, and - whilst trying it on at home - realized the sleeves were a bit too puffy. When you’re 5′2″, a puffy sleeve often results in your looking like a twelve-year-old, and a short one at that.

I hacked off the puff, layered the newly-sleeveless dress over a white American Apparel tee, added a thrift store scarf and Mom’s RL Riding Boots, and BAM! Urban Cowgirl. Fab.

Even if everyone and their Mom (literally) is wearing the same F21 dress, don’t think you can’t do the same. Just wear it in a way that sets you apart from the masses - permanent marker it, layer it, cut it up, whatever. It’s a twenty dollar dress, so have fun with it.

Now excuse me, I have an old t-shirt to Sharpie.

Navigatrix

Pink or Blue? Umm, Both!

In Disney’s Sleeping Beauty, the little fairies argued at length over whether the princess should wear pink or blue. Well, this princess had the same dilemma when she hit LF Stores’ 60% off Sale and found this Emma & Sam Kimono Sleeve Tee in both colors. She initially chose pink. But - as the shirt was a mere $23.20 (reduced from $58) - she figured it couldn’t hurt to buy it in blue too. Then she put on her most ridiculous pseudo-model face and took some pictures.

These tees taper at the waist, so they’re easily tucked into or worn over whatever they’re paired with. Their loose-fit also has the added bonus of neutralizing potentially racey garments (read: uber-tight American Apparel denim leggings, uber-mini Forever 21 shorts).

At left: I-heart-this-outfit-face. At right: I-don’t-want-to-go-to-work-face.

Navigatrix

Twelve By Twelve, Pretty Swell

Not all Forever 21s are created equal, and I’ve become seriously disenchanted with the one in Union Square as of late - if I see one more rack with nylon/rayon blend, bold-colored, babydoll tunics, I’m going to spew. Thankfully, the Soho outpost has a more varied selection of styles (NOT nine thousand duplicates of the same item in different colors…grrrrr).

I expected to be pissed off by the amount of Twelve by Twelve on the downstairs racks of Soho’s F21. Not because some of the stuff isn’t totally cute, but because I initially thought it was overpriced - if I wanted to pay $40 bucks for a t-shirt, I’d hit the Bloomies “sale” rack. As I perused the section, I was pleased to discover that F21 actually hadn’t jacked their prices just to legitimize their “high-end line.” Most of the Twelve by Twelve stuff wasn’t just adorable, well-made and trendy; it was still relatively cheap. I’m heading back today to try the goods on for size - here’s what I’m hoping to find.

The fab, sweater thang pictured above is technically a long cardigan, but it can def double as a dress. Lace Sleeve Cardigan, $34.

From the front, it’s an ideal layering piece. From the back, it’s a subtly sexy statement. (Did I just channel a Lucky mag editor in that description? Apologies.) Sheer-Back Cardigan, $28.
Continue reading →

Cheap JAP 101

The Elusive JAPgasm

When I used to put outfits together, I had the luxury of concerning myself only with aesthetics. Why? Because any brand I owned was a JAPtastic one. When I put outfits together now, I have to concern myself with balance. Why? Because even I won’t walk out the door in head-to-toe Forever 21. I might be cheap, but I’m still a JAP, goddammit.

The peak of Cheap JAP outfit perfection - the JAPgasm, if you will - occurs when the outfit in question achieves practicality, class and originality in perfect harmony. Clothes from budget chains a la H&M/Forever 21 make an outfit practical; coveted labels purchased as splurgy poos or at discount a la Loehmann’s/Century 21 give it class; thrift store finds and/or items from Mommy’s closet make it uniquely yours.

The shorts pictured are Forever 21 and cost $19.80: Practicality accomplished. The polka-dot blouse is a Beacon’s Closet find, snagged for $11.95. Originality? Done and done. The shoes are Manolo slingbacks, purchased with Daddy’s Amex back in college. While it makes me nauseous to think about paying full, retail price for them today, I can’t say I regret doing so back then (probs because it wasn’t my money I was spending…whatevs). Even so - four years later - they still make me look and feel a lot more loaded than I am. These three items combined result in a totally JAPgasmic outfit. Ohhh yeah, baby. Yeah. (!!)

Navigatrix

Bottoms Up at Forever 21

Shopping cheap can be really freeing sometimes - at least that’s what I tell myself when I forgo Bikram yoga for field research, which is often.

Had I seen these suspender-jeans in a pricey boutique, I would have looked at them longingly, convinced myself of their impracticality and left empty-handed. But in the blinding florescence of Forever 21, I saw the notion of suspender-jeans in a new light (and one that only cost $29.80 ;)). They were so unlike anything I owned, borderline ridiculous even. I was obvs buying them immediately.

(Note: Suspender-jeans should fit loosely around the waist and butt area, otherwise, there’d be no need for the suspenders to hold up the jeans (duh). Don’t go a size down or they’ll really look silly.)

Life’s all about balance, so I paired the loose, wide-leg suspender-jeans with an old, fitted Theory top (fine, and a push up bra…no one’s are that perky). Heels are also a must for this look, particularly for shorties like me.

I don’t know if suspender-jeans incur wrath or merit praise from the fashion gods. I do know I don’t give a shit. Continue reading →

I Love A Good Story

The Perils of South Jersey Boutiques

I kid you not - South Jersey boasts the kind of JAPtastic boutiques that rival the best of Soho. Like my fellow hometown JAPs, I once used the, “What, there’s no sales tax!” excuse to rationalize shopping at such places. My friend Sarah still does. When she mentioned she’d hit Knit Wit - probs the most awesomely expensive boutique I’ve ever shopped - she did so with a wicked smirk on her face.

Sarah donned her purchases for drinks Saturday night. To anyone with an undiscerning eye, she was wearing jeans and a white t-shirt. But my razor-sharp JAPdar went on label-alert; she looked too good to have not spent a bundle on her outfit. The jeans were, unsurprisingly, J Brand and - after seeing them in person - I can’t blame Sarah for staying true to her denim snob instincts. They are that fabulous.

When I inquired after the tee and Sarah pretended not to hear me, I knew something was up. I asked again.

-Sarah, is the tee Knit Wit too?
-I can’t even talk about it.
-Why? Did you seriously spend $60 on a white t-shirt?
-Worse. You’re going to kill me. Continue reading →

Navigatrix

Shorts for All Hours

Mmkay, so now that I’ve indulged my impulse to make fashion meaningful (just scroll down), let’s discuss both the white shorts pictured and the High Waisted Luxe Shorts to which I previously referred (both Forever 21, $24.80 and $19.80, respectively). The white jean shorts are a bit too bootylicious for heels or wedges, but with flats and a tucked in button-down, they’re uber cute daytime garb. The color and material of the luxe shorts makes them evening-appropriate despite their slightly scandalous length - they’re hot by themselves, smokin’ with wedges but slutty when paired with a tight top. Tread carefully.

I purchased both pairs of shorts on a Saturday, which is one of the more idiotic things I’ve done. Why, you ask? Because - on Saturdays - every single European and Midwestern tourist makes a pilgrimage from Times Square to Forever 21. Continue reading →

I Love A Good Story

Fellow Females and Forever 21

It’s no secret that women dress for other women. This is partially because if we dressed for men our closets would boast an excess of low-cut tops and tight jeans (snooze), and partially because we’re bitches who like to compete (my outfit’s cooler than yours but your shoes are cooler than mine so let’s be friends).

When I tried on these navy Forever 21 High Waisted Luxe Shorts last weekend, I was seriously concerned that they were more slutty than sassy. I tried subduing them with a grey American Apparel V-Neck but still had reservations upon leaving my apartment…probs because I was headed to a house party where there’d be girls I didn’t know who’d possibly write me off as a big, big ho in response to said shorts.

As I got off the 2/3 and headed to the West Village, a random, adorably dressed girl yanked off her headphones and grabbed me by the shoulders. “Where did you get those shorts?! They’re fabulous!” Continue reading →

Cheap JAP 101

The Myth of the “Under $100 Outfit”

Sooo, Lucky Mag is running a “Summer Under $100″ story that features - you guessed it - warm-weather items under $100. Kudos to them, for serious. Some of the options, like the $50 Wanted Patent Penthouse Heel pictured, are actually as adorable as they are affordable (def just reached my alliteration quota for the day…whatevs). My problem isn’t with the compilation of under-$100 items; approximately 87% of everything I buy meets that criteria. My problem is with the bullshit Lucky was spouting this morning on The Today Show; that a trendy, fab outfit can be had for less than $100. For any girl even remotely concerned with looking loaded (so, like, all of us) the $100 outfit is an effing joke. Why? Two words: Shoes and Handbags.
A Benjamin is more than enough to get you dressed from torso to ankle, no question. But if I’m wearing $7.99 sandals from Forever 21 and a $14.99 bag from Target along with my cheap ensemble, I am not feeling loaded. I am feeling like I’m wearing Forever 21 sandals and a Target bag. (Addendum: Forever 21 is about short-term trend experimentation, not long-term wear - their faux leather shoes tend to have the lifespan of a gnat.).
I’m not suggesting that one needs a different pair of pricey shoes and a different designer bag for every outfit. I am suggesting that spending $100 on a pair of kickass wedges you’ll wear all summer is a better investment than blowing $100 on a head-to-toe outfit that looks as cheap as it is. Where handbags are concerned, well, you know where I stand. Save your dough for one you’ll wear every day, and raid Mommy’s Closet for evening bags. And if you’re in dire need of a quick bag fix, hit a thrift store. You’ll find something that’s a hell of a lot more original (and a lot less likely to out you as cheap) than anything Isaac Mizrahi for Target.