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Old Navy, New Dresses

It’s been so. effing. hot. all. week. This seriously compromises my outfit options; pitstains are like, soooo last season. I hit Old Navy for sundresses made from material that would leave me feeling as close to naked as possible in this sticky, sweltering heat, and snagged these for $29.99 each. Not the best of deals for Old Navy, but everything marked down for their “Stockup Sale” was too fugly for words.

Old Navy dresses can be fairly matronly; this was the case with the striped, strappy number. I hacked at the hemline, added an old striped belt for kicks, and stepped into some high wedges. Much cuter and more age-appropriate than a calf-length sundress and flip flops, yes?

Cheap JAP 101

How To Wear Confidence, 24/7

I’m no trend whore, but I certainly like to experiment. Alas, playing with trends - like any other risk - can be a bit scary. Because fashion risks inevitably result in the occasional flop. Wearing slightly absurd outfits means strapping on a pair on two capacities: 1. The balls to not give a shit about public opinion re: the outfit in question and 2. The balls to feel awesome wearing it. The first part’s easy, because most people don’t know how to dress. The second part - using your confidence to accessorize an outfit that could go either way - is the challenge.

I found this flower-embellished denim jumper at Beacon’s Williamsburg for around $35 buckaroos. If you think it’s borderline ridiculous now, you should have seen it in its original form, i.e. with pants. Even after I chopped it into shorts, I remained skeptical. I put on a belt and gold hoops; I took off the belt and gold hoops. Something was missing, but I wasn’t sure what. So I did what I always do when I’m feeling a little self-conscious about donning new duds. I put on my “Just Sing It” playlist, and belted out some Alanis. Four songs later, I felt like a rockstar, and was ready to take my outfit out on the town.
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Label Whore

Re-Assess, Re-Vamp, Re-Wear!

I don’t just recycle paper goods (my building doesn’t recycle plastic or glass bottles, how effed up is that?…I mean, not that I have a lot of empty wine bottles laying around…wait what) - I use the three Rs to recycle my clothing too. Sometimes I sell stuff to Beacon’s for store credit. Sometimes I perform hemline surgery on tired pieces. But never before have I taken a pair of scissors to a pricey, JAPtastic item. Until the other day.

Last summer, Mommy bought me this Nanette Lepore dress. While Mommy’s Jewish in the religious sense of the term, she’s a beauteous blonde WASP where personal style’s concerned. This means she’s frequently - and often correctly - concerned that my outfits lack a certain level of, ahem, class. So she insists on my needing wardrobe staples like $300 Cocktail Dresses.

I wore this dress once last summer, and haven’t thought about it since. OMG, it’s Nanette, what’s wrong with me?! Many things, mi guapas; let’s talk about what’s wrong with the dress first. Continue reading →

Nifty Thrifty

Style Superfood: The Shirtdress

The Shirtdress is one of those eternally In warm-weather items. It’s easy, flattering and - with the collar popped - endearingly obnoxious. But if I see one more shapeless, solid-colored version of it at H&M, I’m might have a narcoleptic episode.

Thrift stores - Rags-a-GoGo in this case - usually offer much more interesting (and cheaper, obvs) versions of this could-be played out trend. This one ($28) was slightly matronly when purchased, so I butchered the hem to sexify it a bit. Belt it, add wedges and voila! A trend beloved by everyone becomes uniquely yours.

Cheap JAP 101

Recycled Denim: Bust Out the Scissors

It’s Earth Week, which means I should be plugging pleather handbags and shoes or something. Um, no. If I ever have $665 to drop on Stella McCartney platform sandals, they better be buttery, soft, expertly-constructed shoes from something that once mooed. However, I do strictly adhere to recycling where denim is concerned. This doesn’t mean I buy organic cotton Levi’s. It means that when warm weather hits, I bust out the scissors and recycle my least-worn jeans into shorts. I actually really like the cut of these J Brand cut-offs; they’re a refreshing, laid-back departure from the Daisy Dukes of summer. They’ve also got that never nude thing going on.

Paying $141 for these shorts is an example of the most irresponsible, reprehensible, toxic kind of waste: The waste of money. Denim is only a worthy splurge when it covers more than your upper-thigh area. This style can and will be inflicted upon my three-year-old pair of Sevens, and for the grand total of nothing dollars, I’ll have a new pair of shorts. Who says I’m not a conservationist?

Nifty Thrifty

Muumuu No More

I shorten almost every dress I purchase and by “shorten,” I mean hack away at the hem with a pair of fabric scissors. I do this for a few reasons:
1. I’m a whopping five feet, two (and a half) inches and short hemlines give my midget-esque legs the illusion of length.
2. It’s the only way to take a thrift store dress from muumuu to uber cute (really struggled for the rhyme on that one).

On the rack at Beacon’s Closet, this number was more seventies housewife than spring hotness, but it hit two out of this season’s Top Ten Trends - Bright Colors and Bold Florals. Whew, because the Bright Ideas and In Bloom looks are like, so last year. Belted, post fabric surgery, this seventeen dollar dress is totally In. And it’ll be just as cool in Spring 2009, when the same trends masquerade as Loud Tones and Surfer Girl Chic.

Nifty Thrifty

How to Rock a Long Dress

I found this dress at Beacon’s the other day for $14.95. On the hanger, it looks kinda blah; it was equally meh in the dressing room. I bought it with the full intent of shortening it into a mini shirt-dress (by “shortening,” I mean hacking at it with a pair of fabric scissors - I don’t waste money on professional alterations unless it’s absolutely necessary).

Pre-hemline surgery, I tried the dress on and cinched a thick brown belt around my waist. The dress didn’t look hot. It looked understated and classy - two of the most difficult adjectives to achieve where style is concerned.

The length wasn’t doing jackshit to create the illusion of height I’m constantly striving for, but I restrained my urge to shorten the dress and added ankle boots instead. I needed public opinion to affirm the outfit’s awesomeness, so I wore it out to a party that evening. “Great color,” “Love the dress,” “You look gorgeous,” from guys and girls alike. Yaay, my massive ego totally needed that. Now let’s talk overall cost. Continue reading →

Cheap JAP 101

More Dish on Denim

You’ve no doubt accumulated a significant amount of costly denim courtesy of the parental teat. Before you splurge on a new pair of jeans, you should always take inventory of what you already own.

I thought I needed a new pair of casual jeans after I “grew out of” my AGs in college - it wasn’t until the seams along the crotch and lower back area ripped that I acknowledged I’d gained 10 lbs. Six months later the jeans fit like a glove again and, aside from the fact that they afforded the onlooker multiple views of my thong, they looked fab. I had my dry cleaner sew them up, and voila!

These jeans might look like they’ve been to Promises and back, but they’ve still got that AG label. And they make my butt look really, really cute. I hope your designer denim serves you as well.