CheapJAP

Cheap JAP 101

Big Brown Bag, Big Brown Bust

Growing up, Bloomingdales was to me what Saks is to my mother: Mecca. I’d gaze at the throngs of brand-name clad twentysomethings and think, “Someday, when I live in the city, I’ll shop here, and be just as stylish and loaded and vain as those girls.” I couldn’t effing wait.

In my epilogue, I’ve got the style and the vanity thing covered. I’ve even managed to look as loaded as the JAPtastic fashionistas who once inspired me. But I stopped seeing Bloomies through Rose-Colored Oliver Peoples long ago. The Memorial Day Weekend sale reminded me why.

One has two choices when braving the hordes of wannabe-bargain shoppers at Bloomies’s Memorial Day Weekend Sale; pricey, fab designer wares or cheap, fugly second-tier brands. Even at 30% off of its already-reduced price, a Nanette Lepore blazer is still upwards of $150. Even at 30% off its already-reduced price, a $40 Hard Tail tracksuit is still a Hard Tail tracksuit. If I’d had a minimum of three hours to spend, I might have found something akin to an $80 Marc Jacobs top. I might also have gone insane in the process. Continue reading →

Cheap JAP 101

Sephora No More-A

I used to consider makeup something that couldn’t be scrimped on. I mean, it’s your face, you wear it every day. What’s an occasional $42 for Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer or $29 for Nars Bronzing Powder? $71 might seem a little steep for two items, but it’s worth spending on stuff you use every day, right?
Wrong. So effing wrong. With brand-name clothes, sometimes you get what you pay for; an F21 dress will probs fall apart before a DVF, and that’s life. But with brand-name makeup, I’ve found the opposite to be true: Cost doth not beget quality.
If you haven’t jumped on the mineral/organic makeup bandwagon yet, it’s time. Not because it’s made with natural anti-oxidants and leaves out most of the 100-plus chemicals used in other makeup. Not because you’ll notice a visible difference in your punim. But because it’s so. freaking. cheap. Continue reading →

Nifty Thrifty

Muumuu No More

I shorten almost every dress I purchase and by “shorten,” I mean hack away at the hem with a pair of fabric scissors. I do this for a few reasons:
1. I’m a whopping five feet, two (and a half) inches and short hemlines give my midget-esque legs the illusion of length.
2. It’s the only way to take a thrift store dress from muumuu to uber cute (really struggled for the rhyme on that one).

On the rack at Beacon’s Closet, this number was more seventies housewife than spring hotness, but it hit two out of this season’s Top Ten Trends - Bright Colors and Bold Florals. Whew, because the Bright Ideas and In Bloom looks are like, so last year. Belted, post fabric surgery, this seventeen dollar dress is totally In. And it’ll be just as cool in Spring 2009, when the same trends masquerade as Loud Tones and Surfer Girl Chic.

Love With Hate Icing

Give Thanks for Leggings

So it’s Thanksgiving, which means we’ll all gain approximately five lbs by the end of today. You can’t enjoy eating in the style of American excess if you wear something that needs to be loosened or unbuttoned post-stuffing-your-face. Leggings are the obvious choice, but not just any leggings. Head to Urban Outfitters and buy a pair of Sparkle and Fades.

I have a love/hate relationship with Urban Outfitters - my friend Faith would call it love with hate icing. My beef with Urban is that it puts its ugliest, most boring shit on sale and uses massive signs (Long-sleeve Thermal Tees - $12.99!!!) to pretend to be a bargain shopping experience. The cost of the cute, cool clothes rarely drops below $65, and this offends me.

Continue reading →