11:44 AM • May 15th, 2008
By cheapjap
Heel Schpiel
I’m pretty sure my father’s going to have a conniption after he reads this post, so Dad, apologies in advance - one day, I’ll actually be loaded, and I’ll buy you an airplane.
When I opened my Chase checking account, I was told I had good credit. Really, really good credit. $15,000 to be exact. Free to do what I want, indeed. Would I like a credit card? I refused, with all the power of my being. It came in the mail anyway, begging me to activate it. I snipped the sucker in half with scissors. Being broke sucks, but being broke and in credit card debt is a one-way ticket to loserville, no matter how well-dressed you are.
Somewhere in between me switching serving gigs and overdrawing my account, my credit got activated to cover my ass. This scared the shit out of me. I didn’t open my bank statements, didn’t visit Chase’s website, and didn’t do much shopping (sniffle). I had no idea what I’d put on that card over the past few months, and couldn’t bear to look until I accumulated enough moolah to pay some of it off. After a week at my new job, I put a nice chunk of change in the bank. I logged onto online banking. I pulled up the previously and intentionally hidden credit card balance. And breathed a big effing sigh of relief. In three months, I’d put a mere $402.96 on my credit card. I immediately paid off half of it, vowing to pay the balance off after my next deposit. Then I did something stupid. I went shoe shopping. Continue reading →
10:07 AM • Apr 30th, 2008
By cheapjap
Splurgy Poo
I talk a lot of smack for someone who’s still continually spoiled by her parents. I stand by the fact that when I shop alone, it’s always on my own dime and subsequently, always a budget-conscious activity. But when I shop with Mommy, we don’t let icky, annoying things like the cost of this Manoush Belted Ruffle Hemmed Trench inhibit our experience.
Continue reading →
11:56 AM • Dec 11th, 2007
By cheapjap
Cheap JAP 101
You can’t use the absence of Daddy’s plastic as a means to avoid giving gifts to those you care about - it’s just not in the spirit of Christmas (or Chanukah…whatevs, I’ve always celebrated both, but I feel really, really guilty about it).
The golden rule of gift-giving on the cheap is this: The more thought, time and energy you put into it, the less money you have to spend. Read on for 10 ways to give the most thoughtful AND least costly gifts this holiday season.
1. Know Your Customers
Anyone worth a present should be someone you’re either bound to by blood (Mom and Dad, siblings, grandparents, etc.) or someone you actually give a shit about (non-frenemy friends and your guy of the moment, provided you’re not just using him for sex). Tailor your gifts to their interests and hobbies; my friend Lucy’s a whiz at baking and a cutesy apron would be something she’d not only appreciate but also actually use.
2. Hit the Outlets
Getting something at 50 percent off its retail price is okay. Getting something at 30 percent off its already-reduced wholesale price is better; it’s not rocket science. Woodbury Commons is a haul and a half but particularly worth it for apparel and housewares. My little bro is a crunchy outdoor freak; something from The North Face outlet would suit him well. For fuck’s sake, don’t wander into the Chanel outlet - you’re not there for you and even at half price, you still can’t afford it.
Continue reading →
10:32 AM • Dec 11th, 2007
By cheapjap
Oy Vey!
I didn’t ask for anything this Hannukah season.
Not because I didn’t want anything, but because - for the first time, um, ever - I felt a slight twinge of Jewish guilt at my parents paying half my rent.
Dad: Mom wants to know what you want for Hannukah.
Me: I honestly don’t want anything Dad. Really.
Dad: That’s very sweet, but she’s going to buy you stuff anyway, just some little things.
My dad continually chooses to forget that “little things” mean he’s out at least $600. 
I insisted on wanting nothing, both parents ignored me, and Mom showed up in the city with “little things” in tow. Among the little things: BCBG puffer coat, hot BCBG top, C&C turtleneck, Scoop textured tights and Tory Burch pony hair flats. JAPpot!
My holiday cheer was marginally corrupted by the fact that my mother had left the pricetags on most of the gifts. This haul of “little things” was way out of the usual range; that goddamn Jewish guilt was creeping up on me again.
Me: Mom, this is way too much.
Mom: Sweetie! Everything was half off!
Okay, so Mom’s idea of a deal is a $500 coat reduced to $200; she’s not a Cheap JAP just yet. But - when she told me everything was half off - she had that same triumphant look on her face that I get after a
trip to Forever or Beacon’s. Maybe we’re all bargain hunters at heart.
