CheapJAP

I Love A Good Story

Love At First Grope: Epilogue

After I made the fiscally responsible decision of not buying the Abaco bag, I vowed to avoid Petticoat Lane in the weeks following. I needed time to mourn the loss of my big, buttery, leather obsession. I didn’t have the strength to see it again and not buy it, nor could I bear the thought of it on someone else’s arm. I clung to the hope that it was pining for me too, that it would wait for me until its handlers further reduced its price. Wishful thinking, obvs. Or so I thought. Until yesterday, when I saw the “Select Bags, 50% Off!” sign in the window of Petticoat Lane.

I tore through the door and beelined for the half-off rack. Propped against its inferiors, stuffed with tissue paper, as new and beautiful as I’d remembered it, there it was. My Abaco. I picked it up carefully, and physically embraced it. I’m not even kidding. I actually hugged the thing.

At the register, I inquired after the damage before slapping down my card. The bag was originally priced at $659 (I’d erroneously assumed that its online price was the same as its in-store price, but via the Interweb it was $739. Online shopping a bargain? My ass.). At 50% off, I was looking at $329.50 plus tax. I went for it without hesitation, and as the salesgal wrapped my splurgy poo she said, with unconcealed envy, “I paid $800 for my Abaco. I can’t believe the deal you’re getting.” I could have mock-related, but I’ve always been a shitty liar. $800 is an effing insane price to pay for any one thing. But $350, for something you’ll wear and adore fo eva, is just right. Especially when that something makes you look so. effing. loaded.

I Love A Good Story

Love At First Grope

Yesterday, I fell in love. With a handbag. I’ll explain.

A week or so ago, I was strolling down my block when I noticed a new addition to the neighborhood. Like Athena from Zeus’s head, a bag shop had sprung unexpectedly from a deserted storefront. And not just any bag shop - a Petticoat Lane. I had it pegged as a JAP mecca even before I discovered the locations of their other branches (Chappaqua, Scarsdale). I knew I probably couldn’t afford anything in there, but figured there wasn’t any harm in browsing. And now, I am in trouble. Trouble of the impassioned, impulsive and fiscally irresponsible kind.

As you well know, I’ve been yearning and burning for a new leather bag to complete my soul (i.e. my closet) for quite some time now. While Petticoat Lane offers the eternally JAPtastic Furlas, Botkiers, Francesco Biasias and Bulgas we all know and love, they also have a less familiar brand called Abaco. After holding and feeling Abaco’s bags, I can honestly say it was love at first grope.

Abaco’s line is comprised of (in my humble opinion (HA!)) the highest quality handbags I’ve ever seen. Now, by “quality,” I do not mean well-made, classic, practical, aesthetically-pleasing and/or long-lasting - all that shit’s a given. When I say “quality,” I mean Looks Expensive As Hell. If you see this bag on the street, you don’t wonder if the girl on its strap got it at a sample sale, scored it on Canal, bought it at a boutique, whatever. You see it and think, “OMFG. I looooove that bag. And I so can’t afford it. Eff her.” And you’re right: You so can’t afford it. Neither can I. Hence the potentially heartbreaking and definitely gut-wrenching plight I now find myself in.

If you’ve ever experienced the L-word, you’re well aware that its unpredictable nature is part of what makes it the most awesome and fucked up emotion in existence. I thought a roomy, neutral-colored, go-with-everything tote was what I’d been looking for. Then this smaller, square-ish, navy blue shoulder bag knocked me on my ass, and I realized I don’t know myself nearly as well as I pretend to.

The Abaco Newport Bag is currently on sale for $499; a 30% reduction from its retail price of $739. I’m the first to admit that - even at more than $200 off - it’s not a deal in the slightest. But I can’t stop thinking about it, and need to make a decision before some yuppie Park Slope mom parks her stroller in the store and snaps it up with her hubbie’s Amex. Commenters (you’re all effing awesome, BTdubs): You have two hours before I leave for work to advise me on my situation. Tragedy will befall either my heart or my bank account depending on the outcome. Help a fellow Cheap JAP out, huh?

Excessories

Botkier Sample Sale More Anticlimactic Than Orgasmic

As far as sample sales go, Botkier’s was remarkably well-executed; there was minimal insanity and an abundance of bags at 50-70% off. Had I been on the hunt for a clutch or a small going-out bag, I would have been positively gleeful, as this category of leather goods boasted fab options ranging from $100-$175.

But I don’t need a clutch or a going-out bag - that’s what Mommy’s closet is for. I need a big tote I can wear all day, every day. And the tote situation was boring at best, and fugly at worst.

It wasn’t the sizes or the prices that bugged me. Most of the totes offered were sizable enough to accommodate wallets, cameras, iPhones, make-up, extra pairs of shoes, y’know, all of life’s essentials ;). Most were also around $275, max - a reasonable price to pay for a kickass designer handbag for daily use. But the materials and colors of said totes had me totally icked out. Continue reading →

Heel Schpiel

If I Was A Shoe Gal…

If shoes are to you what handbags are to me, I highly recommend getting your tush to Loehmanns, ASAP. Because in the shoe section - amidst the Steve Maddens, Michael Kors, Calvin Kleins and other usual suspects - are some kickass designer heels. Like these Celines.

Both pairs retail for $500 and were on sale for $299.99. They’re expertly crafted, sky-high, and - as much as I hate to admit it - actually look as expensive as they are. I personally wouldn’t blow $300 on a pair of shoes (not to imply that I’m against my mother occasionally surprising me with new Manolos ;). But these were beautiful to the point that I just wanted to try them on for kicks. They didn’t have my size, which is probably a good thing.

In this world, there are Shoe Gals and there are Bag Gals. While I consider myself the latter, these Celines gave me a newfound understanding of you beotches crazy enough to blow your dough on heels you’ll wear twice a month, max. If I’d had money to burn, I might have done the same exact thing.

Sexy Time

Sexy Lingerie, Sexier Prices

I’ve never been one of those girls who needs a matching, lacy bra and thong set to feel hot. While I admit that a great bra is occasionally a worthy splurge, I just can’t rationalize spending $40 on one pair of Hanky Panky Boyshorts, cute as they might be. But when I realized I’d been wearing Old Navy Thongs for the better part of a year, I figured it was time for some new, slightly more grown-up underthings.

Now, I like Cosabella and OnGossamer as much as the next girl.

I like these brands even more at Loehmanns’ seriously slashed prices.

My biggest scores were an On Gossamer bra ($42 reduced to $16.99) and a pair of Hanky Pankys ($36 reduced to $10.97). I also snagged two On Gossamer thongs and some boyshorts (Rene Rofe and Honeydew). If I’d paid full price, my haul might have cost me $136 - not cool. At Loehmann’s, five pairs of undies and one bra cost me a grand total of $52.91.

Now that’s what I call sexy.