CheapJAP

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Dressed Up to Get Lucky - Outfit #2

Mmmkay, here’s another look in the spirit of Lucky Mag’s Dress Up Your Denim Challenge. (With the same Forever 21 jeans, in the spirit of Cheap JAP).

Jacket, Ralph Lauren Purple Label, (a gift!); Lace top, Goodwill, $12.99.

Boots, MICHAEL Michael Kors, $295 (Oy!); “Chanel” clip-ons, thieved from Mom’s jewelry drawer, $0.

I’m not sure if it’s dressy enough to fit the bill. Probs because I’m not showing much skin, and I never really feel dressed up if I’m not showing any skin. This tendency will not bode well for me once I’m in my thirties.

I am sure that it rocks. Then again, it’s rare that I don’t feel that way about my outfits. Convincing yourself that THIS outfit is the BEST OUTFIT EVER every time you get dressed requires a zen-like focus, but it’s a pretty nifty trick once you’ve mastered it.

I should also mention that said trick requires a penchant for delusion and a slightly crazed obsession with material things. I’m just saying.

Nifty Thrifty

Goody Goody Goodwill

On a tip from a reader, I made my first pilgrimage to Goodwill this week - the one on 23rd between 2nd and 3rd Avenues.

Now, look beotches. I don’t know how many of you live in the greater New York Metropolitan Area, I don’t know how many of you have big enough cojones to shop at Goodwills here or elsewhere, but it’s got to be more than this one fabulous person who finally nudged me toward what just might be the Beacon’s Closet of not-for-profit retail stores. It’s about effing time someone fessed up.

So, Goodwill, like other stores of its ilk, involves a significant amount of digging. You must prod through the donated merch, hanger by hanger, if you want to find anything decent. This seems an arduous task until you see that first JAPtastic label (in this case, a purple chiffon Laundry top, (size XL - bollacks)).
Suddenly, you’re not shopping so much as hunting for buried brand-name treasures (back off from that J.Crew blazer! Arggh!).

This particular Goodwill was well lit, organized (mostly by gender and color), clean (relatively speaking) and - drumroll please - it had dressing rooms!

Among my first finds; a white, off-shoulder tee (Banana Republic, $4.99); a 100% silk, cream-and-black-dotted blouse (Ann Taylor, $12.99); and a ridiculously fabulous lace dress which I have since turned into a long top ($12.99).

Outfits to follow, as per usual. (Read: After everything gets dry-cleaned).

Nifty Thrifty

No Pain, No Gain: Salvation Army

A lot of bargain hunters who find things at Salvation Army will tell you it’s not that bad. And they are lying. I’m not going to bullshit you: It’s a sketchy, icky, bizarre and often fruitless endeavor. There’s a layer of dust that encompasses every garment in sight, and the heinous-to-cute clothing ratio is around 7 to 1. There’s no dressing room, there’s the occasional crackhead to contend with, and everything smells a little off. It’s the last stop before the dumpster for discarded apparel everywhere. But if you’ve got the stomach for it, it’s still worth a shot. Because it. doesn’t. get. any. cheaper.

I know these things don’t look like much, but I can’t illuminate their full potential with outfits until after they’ve been sterilized (Read: Dry Cleaned. You can’t just launder Salvation Army stuff pre-wear - you don’t know where this shit’s been). So I’ll just give you the rundown of what I got and what I paid, and you can judge for yourself.

For two button-down shirts (H&M and GAP), a preppy hoodie (Polo), a crazy vest (no name, and possibly a mistake, but still worth the fiscal risk of $3.50), and a corduroy shirtdress (Banana Republic) - all told, four tops and a dress - I paid $23.45. TWENTY THREE DOLLARS AND CHANGE. This basically means that, on average, each item was less than five dollars. And that’s pretty effing sweet.

Stay tuned for the Salvation Army Series of Outfits if you’re somehow not impressed

Navigatrix

Stealing from Children ……………….. (Old Navy’s Kids Department)

Is it cheating to shop the kids’ department? Probably. I initially wandered through Old Navy’s to see if Girls’ apparel was cheaper than Women’s. It wasn’t, but Old Navy’s cheap to begin with - no biggie. Some of the Girls’ stuff was, however, cuter. Much, much cuter.

Cardigans are like, so hot for fall, particularly those of the lengthier, torso-skimming ilk. This Girls Short-Sleeve Knit Cardigan, $19.50, hits the mark, bigtime. Provided you can fit your boobs into it, as it’s not originally intended for anything beyond training bras.

This Girls Long Prepster Cardigan, also $19.50, affirms that Gossip Girl has reached America’s youth (barf). It’s adorable AND not nearly as costly as Serena’s uniform. Yaay!

I believe the cardies I tried were Girls XL so if you’re a B/C cup, do that. A/B cups can go L; C/D’s can go XXL. And don’t freak about the big sizes. Remember, this shit is for ten-year-olds. Now it’s for Cheap JAPs too!

Nifty Thrifty

My Flea Finds

What I scored at the P.S. 321 Flea Market: An uber-versatile gray dress, an eighties, stonewashed denim skirt, a black and white beaded necklace and a sweet elastic/leather belt. Let’s tally up what I spent, for kicks.

Dress - $15
Skirt - $10
Necklace - $3
Belt - $5

= A grand total of $33 for four fab things! I’m inspired to make flea markets a regular weekend excursion.

Label Whore

The Return of the Denim Snob

Where JAPtastic denim is concerned, I’ve come a long way, baby. I’ve put to rest the inevitable shame of wearing Forever 21 high-waisted jeans; I’ve even come to enjoy the freedom of denim experimentation encouraged by not spending $200 on every pair. I’m not above secondhand Sevens, I’m no longer starved for Rich and Skinny, and my $14.95 Picadilly jeans from Beacon’s make my butt look better than AG ever could. And yet.

I’m still not above being wooed by designer denim, and Tokio 7 had it in abundance. The second I put these Diane von Furstenberg jeans on, my butt looked like it’d done 500 squats. Aside from their being the most flattering pair I’ve owned like, ever, they’re 95% cotton and 5% elastane, which basically means they fit and feel like yoga pants. DE-lish.

I assumed the jeans were from at least a few seasons ago, as DVF denim retails from $250 to $400 and these were priced at $75. Not that I cared. The fact that they’re from her Spring ‘08 line and, after being originally priced at $345, are now “on sale” for $172.50, is just the cream cheese icing on the red velvet cupcake. Half-off denim is generally a bargain, but when it’s DVF you’re dealing with, you’re still paying the equivalent of full-price Citizens. Not cool.

Now, I’m no good with percentages, but basic subtraction tells me that paying $75 for $345 jeans means I spent $270 less than the average denim snob. Net-A-Porter, you lose!

Label Whore

Indulging Your Inner Label Whore

Part of being a Cheap JAP is rejecting the notion that labels define an article of clothing as good, bad or ugly. Where tops, bottoms, jumpers and dresses are concerned, I’ve pretty much kicked my inner label whore’s ass; she doesn’t blink at the amount of F21 and H&M in my closet, and even concedes that some of it’s cuter than my more JAPtastic garb. With shoes and handbags, she’s a little less forgiving. So sometimes I need to buy her a brand treat to shut her the eff up. This is where Beacon’s Closet comes in.

Beacon’s is one of the few places where you can be a label whore without actually paying for it.

Sure, there’s def stuff from GAP, Zara and the like lining the racks, but all that’s pretty cheap to begin with. As Beacon’s brand offerings range from very budget to uber high-end, I’m always on the hunt for the gems in the latter category. A $20 top from F21 reduced to $7 is good; a $200 Marc Jacobs jacket reduced to $30 is better. Capiche?

These Michael Kors gold pumps - oh sorry, MICHAEL by Michael Kors, how budg of me - probs originally retailed for around $120-ish, which isn’t outrageous to begin with. Alas, I got them for $21.95, reconciling my thrifty and my snooty sides. What a beauteous compromise!

Cheap JAP 101

The Top Five Ways to Score at a Sample Sale

It goes without saying that sample sales are scary as fuck. Why? Because the likelihood of taking an “accidental” elbow to the eye from a fellow female shopper increases in direct proportion to the awesomeness of the brand in question. Alas, there are too many JAPtastic labels at 30-70% off this week to ignore the blessing/curse that is the sample sale - among them Botkier (no, NOT “for Target”), L.A.M.B., Alice and Olivia, Generra and Rag & Bone. I must heed my inner label whore and check them out…but not before a refresher course in the Top Five Ways to Score at a Sample Sale.

1. No Time Frames Allowed
I’m sympathetic to the fact that most people are nine-to-fivers, so I’m not going to suggest you take a personal day to get there the second the sale opens (oh, wait…). But you’re not going to find anything decent over the course of a lunch break. If you don’t allow yourself at least an hour of browsing time, you’ll either buy something unnecessary and/or fugly, or leave embittered by your inability to score.

2. Eyes On the Prize
If I’m looking for a big effing awesome tote at a sample sale, I’m not going to putz around with clutches or wallets. Know what you want before you go, and only deviate from it after you’ve assessed and rejected the full selection offered. Should you happen to find what you’re looking for, don’t start browsing on your shopper’s high - you’re too giddy to think rationally, and you’ll end up spending a buttload more than you intended. Continue reading →

Label Whore

One Fab Score: Chloe at Beacon’s

This past weekend I had not one, but two, magical thrift store experiences. One involved black and purple, over-the-knee suede boots; another story for another day. The other resulted in my snagging of the most JAPtastic items in my wardrobe to date.

Unlike more traditional thrift stores, Beacon’s Closet has as many recognizable brand-name wares as it does no-name hippie garb. You just need to be willing to hunt for the Pucci in the polyester. I knew I was getting good at unearthing designer gems: This shirtdress affirms that I am, in fact, a shopping predator.

Finding anything Chloe at a thrift store is an event of mythic proportions - I had to try it on before I really believed my ridiculous luck. The dress oozed quality and class and fit like a glove. I only belted it because it’s missing its two topmost buttons (a flaw currently being addressed by my seamstress…I should probs learn to sew at some point, whatevs).

Chloe dresses retail anywhere from $500 to $1000. Mine was $29.95. A big, fat, OMFG to that. I can still hardly believe it myself.

Mommy's Closet

You’re Never too Old to Find the Afikomen

I’m not overly religious, but I luuurve Jewish holidays, in part because they’re an excuse to see the thirty or so members of my family. (The extent to which we’re more culturally Jewish was affirmed at last night’s seder, when we arrived at the dip-the-parsley-in-salt-water-to-represent-the-tears-of-the-slaves part and realized we had no salt water. “Dip it in the wine!” yelled my Uncle Eric. We collectively deemed this an excellent solution, and continued seder-ing without incident.)
But JAPs - even those of us who genuinely adore our parents, grandparents, brother, nine aunts and uncles and twenty cousins - don’t go home for Passover just to hang out with our families. We go home to hunt for the Afikomens of Mommy’s Closet. My finds this trip (taken with Mommy’s consent, of course): A gauzy, orange, white and blue checked Burberry spring scarf; A pair of hot white Theory pants (purchased via Woodbury Commons, natch); A green, Gucci clutch with a detachable strap that doubles as a fab, skinny belt. A grand total of four JAPtastic pieces, just for going home for Passover. If that’s not worth giving up bagels for, I don’t know what is.
Chag Sameach to all my fellow JAPs

Excessories

The TOTO (Take One Thing Off) Clause

It should go without saying that large, bold earrings, a statement-y necklace, rings and bangles worn all at once fuck up even the most carefully planned outfits. But it can’t go without saying, because I see this shit all the time. In lieu of me attacking random victims of such over-excessorizing with lines like, “What, was The Icing having a clearance sale?” let’s tackle the issue of outfit adornment here.
I wear two accessories almost 24/7: Diamond studs and a Cartier watch. Hard to believe, what with my being so grounded and all. While a few simple, high-quality excessories always trump a ton of plasticky, Urban Outfitters-esque crap, they’re almost entirely dependent on familial charity. Start kissing some serious ass if you haven’t yet finagled a watch and/or earrings of this ilk, but don’t do something stupid like save your money, for legit jewelry is a splurgy poo beyond our reach. Until you have the kind of dough that frees you from Cheap JAP status, look to flea markets, thrift stores and street vendors for the occasional accessory purchase. Also raid your mother’s jewelry drawer (not the stuff in the safe, naughty girl). Continue reading →

Nifty Thrifty

Cheap JAP for Marc Jacobs

I find the whole “vintage clothing”/”designer resale” genre seriously bothersome because coded in the terminology are the letters R-I-P-O-F-F. I am, however, a big believer in thrift stores. I hit thrift stores for cheap, cool shit, which means I neither look for nor expect to find anything remotely brand name-esque. Perhaps this is why fortune sporadically smiles on me.

I came across this blacket while perusing the racks at Beacon’s Closet (blacket = blazer/jacket, i.e. cut like a blazer but thick enough to work as a mini-coat). I almost ignored it because Mommy bought me a Marc Jacobs blazer two summers ago - pale pink cotton, $300 at Scoop, Hamptons. (No, my fam doesn’t summer. Would I need to shop cheap to look loaded if I had a fucking house in Amagansett?).

Thankfully, the familiar tag on the blacket caught my eye. Marc Jacobs. At Beacon’s Closet. Shut UP. I immediately realized that the MJ blacket was totally different from the MJ blazer I already owned; it’s corduroy (ideal for Fall), more rouge than pink, and has some sweet ass snap details on the sleeves to boot.

Take a good, hard look at this image, because it’s a fucking work of art. That’s a $27.95 price tag attached to a Marc Jacobs blacket.

Sample sales are for pussies. This is the real designer discount deal.

Love With Hate Icing

Anthropricegougemie, You’ve Been Had

I’ve built up a tolerance to browsing sans buying shit I can’t afford, but no store tests my resolve like Anthropricegougemie. Some of their stuff’s a tad whimsical for my taste - if a fashion-conscious nymph or fairy wandered out of the forest and into New York, she’d be dressed head to toe in this store’s garb - but most of their items are so beautiful and interesting, they actually seem worth the cost. They’re not.

This adorable ruffled top was originally priced at $78. I saw it a few months ago and didn’t look at it twice. I saw it a few weeks ago on sale for $39.95 and still didn’t bite - I can’t rationalize purchasing a thin, flimsy top in December unless the price is really right. I went back a few days ago: $19.95.

Continue reading →

Nifty Thrifty

Battle of the Fur-Collared Cardigans

Two sweaters, both alike in dignity, in fair Brooklyn, where we lay our scene (sorry - had a Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo and Juliet moment there - how much did you effing hate Claire Danes when that movie came out?).
On first glance, these fur-collared cardigans are similarly versatile, adorable and of course, JAPtastic. But we don’t have Daddy’s credit card anymore, which means we need to deal with something we soooo used to not care about, something with serious ick-factor: The cost. Let’s bite the bullet and assess the price differential of these two garments.

Continue reading →

Mommy's Closet

Your Mom…(and her closet)

Stealing from stores might be illegal, but stealing from Mommy’s wardrobe is essential for the fiscally responsible fashionista. Choose your stolen goods wisely - new purchases and anything she wears regularly are strictly off limits (for my Mom, this usually means workout gear, so no biggie). Always ask before you take, not because you need permission, but because asking your Mom to “borrow” her material wares is an indirect way of saying you admire her style. This will make her feel young, and possibly result in an impromptu bonding experience (read: shopping trip) on her (read: Daddy’s) dime.

That my mother and I are not the same shoe size is perhaps God’s biggest joke on me. Mere inches stand between me and racks and racks of thousands of dollars worth of stilettos, a third of which she’s never worn and never will. Last year, I found myself in her closet surveying the dire situation. I’d just finished my ritual of trying on 4 or 5 pairs of her least worn/most coveted heels to no avail. My feet had not grown, hers had not shrunk, things were
looking grim.

Continue reading →