CheapJAP

Sartorial Etiquette

MAILBAG: Boot Blues

Subject: I need these boots
Hi, I need your help. I need these boots. I don’t have $500 and even if I did shopbop is already sold out of size 7. I am a shoe lady to your handbag lady, I’m going to think about these and dream of them and covet the bitches who wear them until they, or something very like them, are mine. Any ideas?

Thank you!
Jennie

Subject: Re: I need these boots
jennie, dollface - i feel your pain. let’s not pretend that you wouldn’t have dropped $500 you don’t have on those gorgeous joie boots if only shopbop hadn’t been sold out of your size - they’re effing gorgeous, and if i was a shoe gal, resistance might have been futile. alas, any $500 item - be it a boot, bag or otherwise - is a serious splurge and as such, requires some thought. if you splurge on impulse, you’ll not only be out $500, but also resent the goddamn things for hindering your ability to pay your rent. a splurge should be enjoyed! if boots are your thang, start saving some moolah now and do some research. some ideas to get you started:

Chinese Laundry Turbo Suede Wedge Boot, $99.95 - $109. STEVEN by Steve Madden Reins Boot, $259.95.

Elie Tahari Acorn Suede Juliana Flat Boot, $357 (originally $595). Frye Jane Cuff Boot, $348.
i know your over-the-moon for the joie over-the-knees (ooh i’m so clevaah), but jpegs can’t tell you whether or not you’ll be able to walk in those boots. ya gotta try ‘em on.

cheers to the hunt - keep me posted!
mwah!
Cheap JAP

Excessories

Things That Make You Go ‘Oy.’

Ahh Daily Candy - always on to the next big thing we don’t need. Like really expensive hair accessories.

Firstly, the band-around-the-head as opposed to the more traditional band-behind-the-ears isn’t an easy thing to pull off. I can’t wear one without feeling like a hipster-poser and/or a flapper-wannabe; if you can, more power to ya. But if you’re even considering dropping $145 on one of these ban.do headbands, get off my site and get thee to a craft store. Fake flowers, feathers and a hot glue gun should do the trick.

Sartorial Etiquette

MAILBAG: Schoolgirl in the City

Subject: (no subject)
hey,
sooo i’m going to college in a couple of weeks and i was wondering what clothes i should have for a school in a big city and also a bag for my school stuff. i know you answered a girl’s question about a bag for college but i need help and have a tendency to splurge on bags [usually coach] and i’d
appreciate your help finding one that i can carry my school stuff in and isn’t a backpack or a canvas totebag [both of which i used last year]. help me. i just threw out three pairs of gray sweatpants. my fashion sense is bad. i need an intervention.

-alyssa

Subject: Re: (no subject)
oh honey!
firstly, stop kicking your own ass about your lack of fashion sense. i was a big fat DON’T when i was a froshie; sometimes, i still strike out. fashion’s a learning experience, (just like college!) so let’s get you dressed for success. your tendency to splurge on coach bags tells me you’re willing to drop at least $200 on a tote (which, for a bag you’ll wear throughout your undergrad career, isn’t entirely unreasonable). i scoured bluefly.com first: check these.

cole haan gemma tote, $495 reduced to $266.99. tufi duek helena tote, $550 reduced to $296.99. a little more chic than those intertwined, canvas coach c’s, no?

urban outfitters has a bunch of options for all budgets too. the zip pocket messenger, $88, won’t hold a laptop or a heavy textbook, but it’s sleek and fab for classes with less baggage. but this sabina leather foldover bag, $245, is my fave. you can wear it nine different ways - it expands, it contracts, it’s like, alive or something.

i’m strongly against purchasing your other college essentials online, especially because EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE GOES ON SALE AROUND LABOR DAY. hit the sales near your hometown, and look for the following:

1. a pair of comfortable, flat boots; they should be roomy enough at the knee to accommodate pants.

2. straight-leg jeans. if you want to rock them day AND night, dark denim is the way to go.

3. a coat. this obvs depends on what city you’ll be attending school in. if it’s nyc, a fitted, wool peacoat is preppy-chic; if it’s chicago, be realistic (at northwestern, i wore a fitted, northface bomber jacket complete with furry hood); if it’s l.a., something lightweight like a canvas trench will do just fine.

4. a few loose-fitting, tunic-esque, lightweight sweaters - (deep v-necks or loose cardigans are best). don’t stress about going-out tops until after you’ve arrived and scoped the social scene (then, hit h&m and forever 21. nothing effs up evening clothes and shoes like college; spend little, party lots).

5. leggings. because after an all-nighter (business OR pleasure ;)) you won’t give a shit about looking cute for class.

good luck doll - you’ll do great
mwah!
Cheap JAP

Navigatrix

Cheap JAP Challenge: Charlotte Russe

During my stay in South Jersey, I explored some choice, trashtastic stores at the local mall and discovered Charlotte Russe. Charlotte Russe is kind of like Forever 21’s naughty little sister; 75% of the stuff isn’t just slutty; it’s made from stiff, icky material, and made poorly at that - most of the zippers catch mid-zip, most of the buttons are already loose. But this is a Cheap JAP challenge, goddammit, and we’ve got to find something that doesn’t look like it belongs in Jersey!

As it happens, I found a few relatively decent items at very decent prices. The waistline of the sheer, black button-down shirt makes it uber flattering, and the sleeves, material and color make it a $20 way of experimenting with that neo-goth trend that’s like, soooo In for Fall omg.

The mod Colorblock and oh-so-Autumn Houndstooth dresses are $28.99 each (ditch the belt on the Houndstooth fyi - it’s pleather in the worst way - and add your own instead). The Buffalo Plaid top is $19.99, if you wanna jump on the celebrity trendwagon.

Sartorial Etiquette

MAILBAG: Questionable InVESTments

Subject: Gushing & MAILBAG
Hi CheapJAP:
I love love LOVE your site. It is definitely one of my TOP 5 blogs and, believe me, for reasons I can’t quite explain, I read a lot of blogs.

Since I love not only your frugal point of view, but also your awesome style, maybe you can help me out. I recently purchased this vest from urban outfitters. I got in in white. I didn’t have any ideas as to what I would wear it with and I reasoned that I could figure it out once it was all mine. Unfortunately,this hasn’t happened and I’m kind of stuck. It is a halter so it looks kind of goofy hanging open so I think it will need to remain buttoned.

What do you say? Any ideas???

Thanks in advance, k.

Subject: Re: Gushing and MAILBAG
hiiii kyl,
i actually had your question in mind on my latest cheap jap challenge; as the vest pictured was one of the less trashy items at mandee, it was both a suitable challenge item AND an answer to your query, so i obvs bought it ($19.99, not baaad). see, i too struggle with vests. whenever i put one on, i’m always like, “what’s the point?” i think they’re ridiculous and gratuitous over fitted tees a la urban, and rather man-ish worn open.

alas, after multiple failed outfit attempts, i had an ah ha! moment. the best vests serve the same purpose as a belt - they’re an accessory used to shape something shapeless, like a loose button-down shirt, or a jersey-knit t-shirt dress. i paired mine with what i’m fairly sure is a men’s button-down nightshirt and theory pants, both scored at beacon’s closet. it totally works, riiiiight?!

thanks so much for your comments; psyched you like the site! i hope these tips allow you to enjoy your investment sometime soon.

mwah!
Cheap JAP

Navigatrix

Cheap JAP Challenge: Mandee

Most of the stores at Brooklyn’s Atlantic Center conjure icky memories of my local South Jersey Mall, what with The Body Shop, Victoria’s Secret, Payless, Mandee et. al. I’ve browsed Mandee and left in disgust on three separate occasions. Perhaps it was the abundance of rhinestones, sequins, neon and dominatrix-esque garb that triggered my gag reflex, I don’t know.

This past weekend, I finally bit the bullet and challenged myself to find something - anything - that was more JAPtastic than trash-tastic. This pastel, floral sundress totally fit the bill. I’m well aware that, at first glance, the number looks like something a 1950s housewife might wear while adoringly preparing a roast for her hard-at-work husband (gag me with a mixing spoon).

However, the dress had two things that set it apart from almost everything else on Mandee’s rack: It fit fabulously, and didn’t look slutty. Que surprise!

This outfit proves that a few, kickass accessories are all one needs to take a simple, potentially dowdy item from snooze to ooh! The embroidered, floral belt (Molly B.) was a gift from my uber-preppy BFFs; the gold stiletto sandals are Cole Haan Collection (price upon request… yup, it’s that bad).

Both the belt and the shoes are seriously under-worn, and this dress - fine, I’ll say it, this Mandee dress - gives me a new excuse to break them out. Not that it matters, (because really, what isn’t cheap at Mandee?) but the sundress was $11.99, reduced from $23.99.

Hold your applause.

Navigatrix

Cheap JAP Challenge (A Primer)

My shopping standbys are cheap, but I wouldn’t call them trashy - it’s socially acceptable to patronize stores like F21 and H&M because they’re more low-cost than low-class (…most of the time).

What about stores that actually are as trashy as they are cheap? If you’re unfamiliar with shops of this ilk, take a gander down 14th Street from University Place to Seventh Avenue - you’ll see what I mean. Foxy Lady. Mandee. Wet Seal. Places that even the cheapest of JAPs wouldn’t set foot in. Stores I’ve turned up my nose at for years. Retail establishments I thought were beneath me…until I was broke.

I’ve gotten a little too good at shopping my standbys, so - as a means of continually improving on my fashion prowess - I’ve decided to challenge myself to find, buy and wear non-trashy items from uber-trashy stores. Why? Because shopping is growing, people. Write that down.

Stay tuned for the results of the first official Cheap JAP Challenge. I obvs rocked it.

Sartorial Etiquette

MAILBAG: Ooooh College!

[Note: MAILBAG is copied and pasted directly from cheapjap@gmail.com’s inbox and is therefore exempt from any and all grammatical, capitalization and/or spelling errors.]

Subject: hey
Dear CheapJAP:
First off, I adore your sight. It’s amazing. And you update regularly, which is beyond fabulous.
My conundrum: I want a bag for school. My finances are probably much less jap-y than yours, but we cant all be that awesome. I’m going to be a college freshman, and at the university I’m attending, I don’t think many people carry purses? (IIs this even normal?) I have a purple swiss army messenger bag that i’ve been using for my senior year of high school, which is functional, if not as stylish as i’d like.

Could you point me in the direction of a well-made, yet reasonably priced bag that would be functional enough to carry my macbook, a text book, and perhaps a notebook, yet stylish enough to be a purse? I like leather, but it doesn’t have to be leather. I’m also more partial to brown than black, but I love color, especially bright orange. I’m guessing bright orange and brown and leather all at once would look silly, but I’m just trying to give you an idea.

Thank you, and keep up the fabulousness!
-Kelley

Subject: Re: hey
kelley -
apologies for the uber-delayed response; tre rude of moi. re: your bag conundrum, know this: any bag large enough to cart around a laptop, text books and notebooks isn’t a bag that doubles as a night-time bag. unless you’re bringing a 30 pack of natty ice to the frat house…then, by all means. now, as i’m a handbag whore, our perceptions of “reasonably priced” aren’t likely to coincide. lucky for you, i did some outside-of-the-box thinking - i hope you’ll find these suggestions useful.
Continue reading →

Sartorial Etiquette

MAILBAG: A Clutching Conundrum

[Note: MAILBAG is copied and pasted directly from cheapjap@gmail.com’s inbox and is therefore exempt from any and all grammatical, capitalization and/or spelling errors.]

Subject: Question for CheapJAP
Dear CheapJap,
Sarah P. introduced me on to your funny blog. Our senses of style are very different (I kind of dress like Charlotte York and have never been in Forever 21, though I like finding Theory and Lilly Pulitzer on sale at Filene’s Basement!) but I thought I would write to you because you come up with great ideas an how to pull off somewhat odd clothing. So here is my style connundrum (sp?): I purchased this bag in black thinking it would be so cute and spruce up a black winter coat or tan trench….

It says “medium fabric” but if you read the fine print (which I didn’t) its actually straw. The patent leather and bronze channel-ish chain strap comes off and its like a perfect size not too big but not too small clutch but its F-ing STRAW and Animal print and has patent leather trim! Do I return it? Do I wear it with neutral/black outfits to be a little sexy during the day? Can I wear a straw bag at night? I kind of love it but I also think its the strangest thing.

Any help/ideas would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks, Emily

Subject: Re: Question for CheapJAP
emily,
filene’s sells theory?! um, OMFG. thanks for the tip. now, to address your conundrum:

do NOT kick your own ass about this purchase; i literally had to zoom in nine times on the pic to determine what the material was. you’re right about one thing - it is effing STRAW, and straw ain’t easy to pull off. but there is a way. there is always a way.
Continue reading →

Sartorial Etiquette

Hope Nuggets

So, last night, I’m hauling ass to the R train in my Gold Michael Kors Pumps and I breeze by this woman on the street. As I’m about to descend the subway stairs, the following exchange occurs:

Very Nice Woman: Miss? Miss?!
Me: (irritated, I am so effing late) Yes?
Very Nice Woman: Can I share something with you about your outfit?

I’m assuming she’s going to tell me how fab I look, obvs. My irritation subsides, and I put on my sweetest, most gracious, compliment-accepting face.
Me: Of course!
Very Nice Woman: You look very nice, but, umm, it’s your shoes. They still have the pricetags on the bottom.
Continue reading →

Hots and Nots

DESIGNER SLUMDOWN: Target for GO International vs. Everyone Else

Know how I know the lines by everyone else “for GO International” royally sucked? Because I never wore a goddamn thing from any of them. Most of the Erin Fetherston stuff screamed Alice in Wonderland on Crack, the Jovovich-Hawk line boasted nine different versions of the same, baggy “minidress”, and don’t even get me started on the animal-print, eco-obsessed disaster that was Rogan Gregory.

While the full name,
Target GO International Private Label, is a bit much, the clothes from their in house designers aren’t just cute, y’know, for something from Target; they’re fabulous, no concessions required. So fabulous that I bought three thangs, two of which are pictured here.

You can find the Button-Front Ruffle Top and Ruffle Miniskirt on Target’s website for $26.99 each. If you’re a snob like me, you’ll be totally turned off by the fact that these pieces are among Mossimo, Cherokee and all those other icky lines. To assure you of their fabbiness, pics of them in outfit form will be up later today.

I’ve never really used the term Tar-jay because I’ve never thought of this massive brand conglomerate as even remotely chic. Until now. And the best slummer is… Target for Target. Bravissimo!

Sartorial Etiquette

MAILBAG: Sleeveless in Seattle

[Note: MAILBAG is copied and pasted directly from cheapjap@gmail.com’s inbox and is therefore exempt from any and all grammatical, capitalization and/or spelling errors.]

Subject: question about taming an inner label whore
I moved from Florida to Seattle, WA. So all of my summer wear has been shut up and no longer in style since last summer. Your east coast but I was wondering if you’d heard anything about shopping in the Emerald City without having to sell your soul. I found your blog on stumbleupon.com and have been cracking up while my boyfriend remains glued to the tv with some kind of killing game, because what other kind is there? Thanks for the laughs, and hopefully you may know of some hidden gem in this big freaking city.
Teresa

Subject: Re: question about taming an inner label whore
hey teresa,
the closest i’ve been to seattle is portland, oregon - a city whose thrift stores put nyc’s to shame - so fear not! fabulous shopping does exist outside of the tri-state area. i did a bit of research; it appears your new city boasts a Forever 21, an outlet shopping mall that includes j.crew, banana and burberry (and fine, coldwater creek and eddie bauer - ICK - but hey, i guess it’s chilly out there), and - according to yelp.com - a “TON of vintage stores,” with Sugartown Vintage being the heavy fave among them. shopping in your new hometown seems like it requires a car - i’m hoping you have one. if gas prices are getting you down, sell your boyfriend’s xbox and killing games - you’ll get at least a few tanks out of it, and he won’t mind because vehicular access will help you to look and dress awesome 24/7. Continue reading →

Oy Vey!

DESIGNER SLUMDOWN: Urban Outfitters vs. Rendez-Vous by Paul & Joe Sister (for Urban Outfitters…what?!)

Now, I was under the impression that designers collaborated with budget chain stores like Target, Kohl’s, etc. in order to market and sell affordable versions of their high-end (i.e. overpriced) lines. So I was understandably puzzled when Urban Outfitters - a chain that pretends to be a whole lot cheaper than it is - took Paul & Joe Sister’s “middle ground” line, Rendez-Vous under its faux vintage wings.

See, Paul & Joe charges around $500 for one shirt. Oh it’s handmade, oh it’s silk, oh I don’t give a shit. It’s a shirt, for fuck’s sake. Not a handbag. Their overpriced absurdity of a brand must not have been selling well, because Paul & Joe went ahead and made Paul & Joe Sister (great name, guys); a line whose dresses fall in the “reasonably-priced” range of $250-$400.

One would think they’d consider a noticeable price reduction for the line currently being sold at Urban, Rendez-Vous by Paul & Joe Sister (just keep tacking words on dudes, it’s working). One would see this $188 Kenya Safari Jumper and be wrong. Continue reading →

Hots and Nots

Operation Avoidance: Patricia Field for Payless

To be fair, Patricia Field puts together a mean outfit. The woman proved that high fashion can transform a short, skinny, frizzy-haired, character-nosed Jewish gal into one of the greatest style icons, like, ever. This in turn gives all us short, Jewish gals the cojones to experiment with fashion a la Carrie, and that kind of rocks.

What does not rock is this Patricia Field for Payless biznass. Let’s not forget that this woman is a costume designer, people. Give her vintage dresses and Manolos and she knows how to put them together. Give her the freedom to design her own stuff, and behold this metallic mess of a shoe “collection.”

My problem with metallics is that even the priciest shiny gold/silver/bronze/pewter handbags, sandals and/or stilettos tend to look kinda cheap. It follows that cheap metallics look, well, really cheap (see left…eew). Trendy shoes for thirty-five bucks might seem like a sweet deal, particularly if they’re strategically released in conjunction with a film that idealizes fashion. Know this: Everyone and their mom is wearing Patricia Field for Payless because it’s a novelty, not because the shoes mimic those on Carrie Bradshaw’s little feet. And as soon as they’ve seen and sobbed at the movie the requisite five times, they’ll toss the Payless pumps and take their plastic to Christian Louboutine.

I’m not saying make like Carrie and blow $450 on heels - that’s effing insane. I am saying that, even though $35 doesn’t seem like much, it’s still not worth wasting on trashy, fugly shoes. Pricey-looking heels can easily be had for $70 to $150, and they’ll make you feel a hell of a lot more like SJP than freaking Payless. Viva La Resistance.

Hots and Nots

Operation Avoidance: The Jumpsuit

I’m all about jumpers provided they’re fitted, adorable and short. Alas, not all jumpers are created equal. Witness the Stella McCartney disaster at left. Since some fashion blogs fail to distinguish between a jumper and a jumpsuit, allow me to enlighten you with some CJ-certified definitions.

Jumper: (noun) A one-piece garment consisting of a top with attached shorts that serves as an excellent warm-weather alternative to minidresses.

Jumpsuit: (noun) A one-piece garment consisting of a top with attached pants that often looks like pajamas, a bad seventies throwback, and/or both.

To be fair, I understand the appeal of both jumpers and jumpsuits. It’s an easy outfit in one fell swoop; add earrings, a bag and some kickass shoes, and you’re good to go. What I don’t understand is the concept of buying something that - even after you’ve dressed it up - still leaves you looking like you’ve rolled out of bed. Jumpers accentuate a hot pair of stems and a cool pair of heels. The latest jumpsuits overwhelm even the thinnest bods and render their wearers shapeless, floating blobs. Jumpsuits aren’t effortless chic; they’re an effing lazy choice in a world of exciting onesies. Viva La Resistance.