CheapJAP

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Over the Moon for Overalls

When I happened upon the Silence & Noise Skinny Overall, I’d been searching for a pair for approximately six months. These overalls weren’t just uber-cute - they were on SALE for $39.99 (reduced from $88). This was all a few weeks ago, yet I’m only posting about them now. Why? Because it took me that long to figure out how to wear the effing things.
It wasn’t until I tried on the overalls at home that I noticed the problematic waistline. Direct your attention to Exhibit A; you’ll notice that even the model looks pear-shaped. Serious adjustment was called for, but with what?! I tried scarves and thick belts, all of which exacerbated the situation. I needed to go smaller and subtler, not draw more attention to the problem.

Finally, I unbuttoned the back and realized that shoelaces could be looped through the button holes, then tied around front to cinch the waist. Crisis averted. Phew.
Paired with a cashmere shrug scored at the Scarehouse Sale and Mom’s Frye Boots, these trendy overalls are a far cry from their farmer-chick inspiration.

While the trial and error process of fitting these to my bod kept them from being a total waste, there’s a lesson to be learned here. Thirty seconds is not an adequate amount of dressing room time to assess whether or not your fab find is worth buying. Wiggle around in it, strike a pose, and make sure it doesn’t make you look like a bloated piece of fruit before you commit, mmkay? Mmkay.

Excessories

Get Tight With Those Tights

I heart tights because they’re a quick, cheap way to take an outfit up a notch - in this case many, many notches.

I’d initially paired the Salv Army H&M Button-Down with my Chinese Military Shorts and Kors Gold Pumps: The look was neutrally cool, but in dire need of some pizazz.

Enter the Patterned Crochet Footed Tight. BAM! Now that’s more like it.

Below, a few ways to tighten up your look. Hardy har har.

Sparkle & Fade Nylon V Stripe Tights, $12 (or 2 for $20) at Urban Outfitters. If you’re going to buy stirrup tights, have the guts to wear them with a very high heel so the stirrup is fully visible, maximizing their potential for Flashdance-esque hotness. Otherwise, what’s the point? Hue Stirrup Tights, $12.

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Cheap JAP 101

Do It or Screw It? (Fall Fabrics)

Last Fall, nary a peep was made about lace, velvet or florals. Suddenly, they’re all the rage. What happened to bright solids and houndstooth? You bought those styles last year, and - now that they’re Out - your broke ass has to pony up for new stuff AGAIN. Drag!

Trends exist for one reason, and one reason only. Say it with me now dolls. So we SPEND. MORE. MONEY. If the same shit was In year after year, would we feel quite as compelled to buy new things? Helllls no. Designers and mag editors don’t care about how well you dress; they care about how much you buy. If you genuinely like something trendy, sweet. Just don’t convince yourself that you and your wardrobe can’t survive without it…(insert theme from Twilight Zone here)…because that’s what they want you to think. Damn the Man, Save the Empire, et. al. But I digress.

DO IT: Winter Florals

Hmm, let’s see, why do I support Winter Florals? Because - unless you’re so cutting edge that you spent the summer in black a la Goth Trend - you already own this trend. No need to put the sundresses in storage this year - just add tights and boots, and voila! Painted Floral Chiffon Dress, Forever 21. Print Frill Sleeve Dress, TopShop.

SCREW IT: Velvet
I haven’t worn velvet since 1998. It only works in winter, it’s not daytime-appropriate (unless you like looking overdressed). It’s also one of the few fabrics that tends to look its price; if it’s bought cheap, it ain’t lookin loaded. Suede and wool are more versatile, practical warm-weather fabrics for those of us seeking budget chic. Next. Continue reading →

Navigatrix

Sampling Urban’s Summer Stock

Urban’s sale racks often bother me; the stuff up for grabs is always cheap, but mostly fugly. Twice a year though, Urban cleans house and slashes the prices on the good stuff, and it’s happening right now at their Upper West Side location. Photographic evidence below.

The turquoise silky top is $29.99, reduced from its originally offensive price of $68. I’m not really a dressy top person, but this one’s pretty damn sexy.

The gray piece is still a bit of a splurge at $99 (reduced from $240) but as it’s one of the most JAPtastic things I’ve ever seen at Urban, I had to try it on (the shitty iPhone pic doesn’t do it justice - just trust me). It’s technically a top (the Eros Brooke Top, specifically….online, its “sale” price is still $179, don’t be a suckaaaa) but when you’re short a la moi, it’s fair game as a minidress.

(Pair with spandex mini-shorts to prevent thong-ogling on subway stairs, FYI).

Oy Vey!

DESIGNER SLUMDOWN: Urban Outfitters vs. Rendez-Vous by Paul & Joe Sister (for Urban Outfitters…what?!)

Now, I was under the impression that designers collaborated with budget chain stores like Target, Kohl’s, etc. in order to market and sell affordable versions of their high-end (i.e. overpriced) lines. So I was understandably puzzled when Urban Outfitters - a chain that pretends to be a whole lot cheaper than it is - took Paul & Joe Sister’s “middle ground” line, Rendez-Vous under its faux vintage wings.

See, Paul & Joe charges around $500 for one shirt. Oh it’s handmade, oh it’s silk, oh I don’t give a shit. It’s a shirt, for fuck’s sake. Not a handbag. Their overpriced absurdity of a brand must not have been selling well, because Paul & Joe went ahead and made Paul & Joe Sister (great name, guys); a line whose dresses fall in the “reasonably-priced” range of $250-$400.

One would think they’d consider a noticeable price reduction for the line currently being sold at Urban, Rendez-Vous by Paul & Joe Sister (just keep tacking words on dudes, it’s working). One would see this $188 Kenya Safari Jumper and be wrong. Continue reading →

Excessories

A Study in Going Out Bags

I’ve got no problem hauling around my life during the day - my tote tends to have everything from Sugar-Free Redbulls and extra packs of Camel Lights to inspirational books my Dad thinks I should read and/or Us Weeklies. But when I’m out at night, I like to appear less high-maintenance than I am. This is why my Going Out Bags are not only small - they’re also hands-free.
Where big, leather day bags are a worthy splurge, I’d never spend anything serious on a Going Out Bag. Why? Gee, let me think - no one notices its fabulousness in dim lighting, beer gets spilled on it, it gets lost in a cab, etc. This is why I shop at thrift stores. Also why I raid my mother’s closet. The red pleather, eighties, wannabe-rockstar purse was $11.95 at Beacon’s; the gold-studded Yves Saint Laurent were, well, $0 - gotta love Mom. Both bags can be worn across the shoulder, which leaves my hands free to hold drinks and gesture wildly in conversation.
Now, I’m well aware that clutches are, like, soooo hot right now. If that’s your bag, don’t be a Bag Snob and dupe yourself into thinking the Botkier Lita Clutch is a bargain at $350, crazy face. Urban Outfitters has some reasonably priced options, amazingly enough: Check out the Large Croco Clutch, the Veranda Caning Clutch or the Deux Lux Patent Clutch, all under $50. Now that’s something to hold onto

Heel Schpiel

The Mister In-Between of Shoes

I’ve been on the hunt for an In-Between shoe ever since I first washed my H&M high-waisted jeans. The jeans were originally long enough to wear with 3-inch heels; unfortunately, one dryer cycle rendered them too short for pumps and too long for flats. The silver lining? An excuse to buy new shoes, obvs.
I found these We Who See Oxfords at Urban for $78 (Note: Urban’s shoes not nearly as obnoxiously overpriced as apparel). Are they the sexiest things you’ve ever seen? No. But they’re interesting, which means they’re either ugly, cool, or both.
The heel on the Oxford is low enough that it makes my H&Ms wearable again, but what I like most about the shoe is its weirdness: With pants, it’s a subdued, tan pump of a supporting actor, but with shorts or skirts, it’s the star. Continue reading →

Love With Hate Icing

Give Thanks for Leggings

So it’s Thanksgiving, which means we’ll all gain approximately five lbs by the end of today. You can’t enjoy eating in the style of American excess if you wear something that needs to be loosened or unbuttoned post-stuffing-your-face. Leggings are the obvious choice, but not just any leggings. Head to Urban Outfitters and buy a pair of Sparkle and Fades.

I have a love/hate relationship with Urban Outfitters - my friend Faith would call it love with hate icing. My beef with Urban is that it puts its ugliest, most boring shit on sale and uses massive signs (Long-sleeve Thermal Tees - $12.99!!!) to pretend to be a bargain shopping experience. The cost of the cute, cool clothes rarely drops below $65, and this offends me.

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