The Conquest of the Chelsea Salvation Army

To shop the Chelsea Salvation Army is to boldly hunt where few have hunted before. I’m not just talking no dressing rooms. I’m talking visible schmutz all over the floor, pit-stained t-shirts, stinky shoes, et. al. The place exemplifies any and all stigmas associated with thrift; even I’ve been too grossed out to give it a fair go in the past. I swung by last week in part to see if the merch had improved, in part because it was pouring and I’ve taken to protesting my city’s Seattle-esque weather by refusing to carry an umbrella. The storm told me I had at least twenty minutes for browsing; armed with both time and hand sanitizer, I browsed the crap-clad racks once more. Shortly thereafter, lightening begun to strike indoors.

The first shocking bolt came in the form of a Jill Stuart pleated skirt. Say WHAT?!

The discovery propelled me into full-on shopping mode, and I started tearing through the merch like a crazed baboon. Was the skirt a fluke, or material proof that the quality of donations had significantly increased? A Susana Monaco top suggested the latter…

…and the pants section affirmed it in effing spades. Ya-Ya trousers and James jeans. I Shit. You. Not.

To fully appreciate the redonkulousness of these finds, let’s do some price-point comparison. I’m not sure about the Jill Stewart Jeans pleated skirt but (based on the fact that dresses from her high-end line line retail for $500+), I’d guess her “budget-friendly” endeavor charges at least $100 per item. Salvation Army charged $3.99. A breakdown of the remaining items (FYI: the 6/2′s and 6/9′s on some of the tags mark the DATES the items hit the racks and have nothing to do with the prices. The numbers below are real. Very real.):

Susana Monaco Top – Average Retail: $110.Salvation Army: $4.00.

Ya-Ya Pants – Average Retail: $150.
Salvation Army: $7.99.

James Jeans – Average Retail: $175.
Salvation Army: $5.99.

Note: All items underwent extensive scanning for stains, tears, missing buttons and/or ickiness of any kind and passed pre-purchase. Said were taken directly to laundromat for sterilization purposes post-photo shoot.

It was still raining when I left the store that day, but it was 75 and sunny as far as I was concerned. Nothing, NOTHING, could kill my buzz. Ahh, the emotionally transformative power of labels snagged for a fraction of their retail price. Loves it.