Wardrobe Bitchslap: The Monetarily, Socially and Environmentally Responsible Disposal of the NAYs
At this stage of the Wardrobe Bitchslapping Process, it’s time to literally clean house. This is how we do it.
All NAYs can be categorized as such:
The Money NAYs
Money NAYs consist of gently worn designer castoffs that you will SELL. NYC’s consignment stores are notoriously snooty, so unless your stuff is uber upscale (think Dolce & Gabbana, Marc Jacobs, DVF, etc.) AND relatively recent (anything from the 80s or 90s probs won’t fly), don’t even bother with those jerk-offs. Ebay’s your best bet.
The Thriftastic NAYs
Thriftastic NAYs are best sold at Buffalo Exchange, or at stores like Beacon’s Closet. They’re usually cool, no-name items or stuff that’s one notch down on the brand-o-meter (GAP, Banana Republic, Juicy Couture, etc.). Money NAYs can def be sold as Thriftastic NAYs if you don’t feel like completing the nine thousand steps necessary for selling on Ebay.
The She-Would-Love-That NAYs
These depend on how much you like your friends and family. Getting rid of something you know would look fab on your cousin? Wrap it up real pretty: Happy Hannukah to her! What? It’s not re-gifting if you’re giving away clothes you bought for yourself. Just don’t saddle her with a fugly college sweatshirt or something.
The Charity NAYs
My Charity NAYs often go to my parents’ housekeeper’s daughters. So noble of me, I know. Give yours to a local shelter, Goodwill, Salvation Army, whatever. Some people really do need clothes.
The Nostalgic NAYs
Your old sorority garb. Your Bat Mitzvah gown. Your best Halloween get-up. These are NAYs because they don’t belong in your closet, not because you’re saying goodbye forever, so cease with the sniffles. Nostalgic NAYs go in the attic, in a space-saving storage bag under the bed or in that trunk that doubles as a coffee table. Out of the closet, out of sight, but never out of mind. Oh, memories!
The Garbage NAYs
Old socks, ripped and/or pitstained (eew!) t-shirts. Anything utterly unwearable. This and ONLY this is what you throw out. If I bust you trashing the bag of NAYs destined for Goodwill, I will personally hunt you down and beat some sense into your lazy arse with my Botkier bag. Giving to charity – Good; Giving to landfills – Bad.
As I recently subjected my own closet to the Wardrobe Bitchslapping Process, I’m well aware that much of this is easier said than done, particularly where letting go of the Money NAYs is concerned. The high-end stuff to which I’m saying buh-bye follows.