Wardrobe Bitchslap: Steps 1, 2
To refresh: The Closeto Principle and/or 80-20 Theory states that 80% of our outfits come from 20% of our clothes. Here’s how to sift through the shit to find the stuff that’s the SHIZNAT.
Disclaimer: If the words pack rat, sentimental and/or greedy apply to you, embark on this process with a friend whose opinion you trust and whose spending habits and personal style you admire.
1. Get it OUT.
All of it. I’m not effing around. Remove EVERY SINGLE PIECE of clothing from your closet. I don’t care if it’s an American Apparel tee or a Diane von Furstenberg frock. I don’t care if it’s a pair of slacks you haven’t seen in years or those leggings you wear 24/7. Out of the closet and onto the floor it goes. Successful execution of Step 1 should result in a massive, disorganized pile of crap. Read on.
2. Yay, Nay, Oy Vey; Repeat.
Every single item in your wardrobe falls into one of the following three categories.
YAY! (yes): Your fave pair(s) of jeans; your go-to LBD; that linen blazer you can’t wait to bust out each spring; those camis you wear under everything you own. The stuff you LOVE not for its brand or because it’s, like, so Now, but because it makes you feel fab every time you put it on. YAY.
NAY! (no): Anything you haven’t worn in six months. Anything that makes you feel fugly, fat or flat-chested. Anything appropriate for a costume or theme party and no other occasion. Anything you’ve been saving for your BFF/sister/daughter/niece. Anything you’re keeping around only to rationalize how much money you wasted on it. NAY.
*Don’t flip out – we’re not donating or trashing all this stuff, stupidhead. We’re just getting it out of YOUR closet because YOU aren’t wearing it. Mmkay?
OY VEY! (maybe): A shapeless cashmere sweater; an accidentally-shrunken shirt; a designer suit too dressy for the office; a pair of stilettos too painful to walk in; a baggy dress; your ‘skinny’ jeans; all that shit you haven’t let go of because it’s a brand, really pretty and/or invokes nostalgia; anything you have ANY doubts about tossing OR keeping for whatever reason. OY VEY.
After you’ve sorted every single item in your closet into one of these three piles, you’ll likely have a little YAY, a little NAY, and a whole lot of OY VEY.
To be continued…